Posted on 07/08/2023 4:29:52 PM PDT by John Semmens
Rocked by steep declines in the sales of its beer, Budweiser CEO Brendan Whitworth pleaded with customers to stop boycotting the company's brew.
"First, it's unfair to blame Dylan for what's happened," he said. "This young girl cruelly trapped inside a grown man's body deserves our respect for fighting to be her authentic self. What I'd like to know is, is it worth giving up drinking the greatest beer in the world in order to pile on this poor girl?"
"Second, think about all the people who depend on our company to provide jobs brewing, packaging, and delivering our great beer," Whitworth asked. "Is it fair to them to lose their jobs just because you want to protest your insensitive attitudes toward Dylan? What about their families? Should their children starve just because you irrationally refuse to drink America's best beer?"
"Finally, if you're waiting for me to denounce or distance the company from Dylan before you resume drinking Bud, well, that's not going to happen," the CEO promised. "We've been supporting LGBTQ since 1998. As long as I'm running things our company will never give in to bigots and terrorists. I'm advising you to put aside your prejudices and resume buying our beer for the good of the country, the good of the company and all the people who work here, and the good of your consciences."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,504866.0.html
How many of the posters here understand that this is satire?
There has been a series of ups and downs over this issue of satire and by posting “(semi-satire)” in the title the thread poster/author is doing what has been agreed to do in the past discussions and complaints. I like these posts.
“A young girl trapped in a grown man’s body…”. BS a grown man sickly trying to portray himself as a barely pubescent girl. I am certain Dylan has a following among pedophiles
Is this for real? For real 😧
Why is he still employed? You might ask.
He destroyed countless peoples lives.
Hint: He did what the government told him to do in exchange for job security.
How many of the posters here understand that this is satire?
Given the number of responses, including mine, it reads as too real to be clever.
Satire? No?
Either way....kill the whole InBev company. The workers will distribute and make other beverages and beers.
I just clarified the CEO’s thoughts about the disaster he presides over.
“the greatest beer in the world”
It’s beer-flavored water, and always has been.
There’s ANY NUMBER of beers that are better. And that don’t associate with delusional weirdos.
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