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McConnell Makes Election Forecast [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 August 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/20/2022 10:09:49 AM PDT by John Semmens

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) predicted that "Republicans won't win a majority in the Senate this Fall. Trump's endorsements led to too many primary victories for poorly qualified Republican candidates."

"Take Pennsylvania, for example," McConnell suggested. "Dr. Oz—the man Trump urged GOP voters to choose in the primary—is trailing Democrat Lt. Gov Fetterman by double digits. Fetterman says he agrees with Bernie Sanders on every issue, has a 'soft on crime' history, pulled a gun on an unarmed black jogger, and recently had a debilitating stroke. He's one of the worst candidates ever. However, Oz's latest campaign ad focusing on the high cost of vegetables used in the concoction of a dish I never heard of is not likely to win him many votes. Fetterman can probably win with the same kind of nothing campaign President Biden used against Trump."

"Fortunately, this scenario is not without a 'silver lining,'" the Minority Leader pointed out. "Though our Party's numbers might be smaller we'll be a more cohesive contingent. The number of Trump-supporting Senators will be smaller and, therefore, less disruptive and distracting. And, best of all, I will still be Minority Leader."

In related news, Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo) lost her bid for reelection by a 66% to 29% margin. Nevertheless, she vowed that "Donald Trump will be hurt far more than I have been because now I will be free to devote all of my energy to running against him in the 2024 presidential election. With me splitting the Republican votes Trump will be crushed by Biden, or Harris, or whoever the Democrats nominate. So, while I have merely lost a seat in the 435-member House, Trump will lose his chance to make America great again. My revenge will be sweeter than that achieved by the late Sen. McCain whose vote stopped a Republican senate majority from repealing Obamacare."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=478297.0


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: 2022election; 2024election; biden; cheney; desantis; election2022; election2024; fetterman; harris; oz; postandrun; satire; selfpromotion; trump

1 posted on 08/20/2022 10:09:49 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Yup, McConnell is a Uniparty member in good standing. He needs to be deposed as leader after the midterms.


2 posted on 08/20/2022 10:19:11 AM PDT by WMarshal (Neocons and leftards are the same species of vicious rat.)
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To: John Semmens

Once again it’s Dr. Oz. Who’s running against a guy with the Abby Normal brain And a body to go along with it. Instead of having two doctors in the Senate Pennsylvania is going to go for two communist in the Senate. the Doctor Who couldn’t win that seems to be the theme. Maybe we we should cheat. The Pennsylvania Supreme Court says you don’t even have to sign the date on your absentee ballots anymore. Put your dead grandma and have her vote there are no consequences. Who went to jail last for voter fraud in Pennsylvania? Name me one person. Vote like it’s 2020. Use the Zuckerberg model what happened to him?


3 posted on 08/20/2022 10:24:23 AM PDT by magua (It's not racism, it's just that thisBecause it’s being reported that a lot of this started in 2015.)
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To: John Semmens
The person of Mitch McConnell is the single biggest obstacle to saving this country.

We cannot move forward as long as he is in charge.

4 posted on 08/20/2022 10:51:40 AM PDT by skeeter
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To: skeeter

You’re right he still has the numbers. No matter how strong we come in the best we can probably do is 54 senators. And Mitch will be controlling 43-46 of them. Is there a 25th amendment for senators?


5 posted on 08/20/2022 11:04:24 AM PDT by magua (It's not racism, it's just that thisBecause it’s being reported that a lot of this started in 2015.)
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To: skeeter

Turtle face is the main reason Merrick B. Garland does not have a lifetime job on SCOTUS. So I give the turtle a bit of slack.


6 posted on 08/20/2022 1:24:55 PM PDT by entropy12 (Trump & MAGA are the only road to keep USA viable.)
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To: entropy12

OK just a bit of slack - Turtle seems fine with Garland being the top LEO in the nation.


7 posted on 08/20/2022 1:56:06 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: skeeter

McConnell is fine and dandy with anyone giving hard time to Trump.


8 posted on 08/20/2022 2:40:38 PM PDT by entropy12 (Trump & MAGA are the only road to keep USA viable.)
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To: entropy12

Since there was no motive to kill, at least that I know of, so yes, he will not be charged with anything serious. But negligent homicide is not without some token punishment.


9 posted on 08/20/2022 4:02:23 PM PDT by entropy12 (Trump & MAGA are the only road to keep USA viable.)
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