Skip to comments.'The FBI Raid On Melania's Closet Was Justified,' Says Merrick Garland Wearing Gorgeous New Evening Gown And Sun Hat
Posted on 08/12/2022 1:21:57 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified. Eyewitnesses noted he looked unusually fetching in an elegant Dolce & Gabbana evening gown and a Dior sun hat.
"We wouldn't raid Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate or Melania's wardrobe unless it was absolutely, 100% necessary," said Garland. "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer dresses." The Attorney General then did a little spin in his purple gown as the press gasped with delight.
FBI Director Christopher Wray echoed the statement as he strode up to the Hoover Building in a dazzling pair of diamond-encrusted Alexander McQueen stilettos. "The men and women of the FBI are paragons of unassailable integrity and impartiality, and any suggestion otherwise is murderous treason," he said. Several news outlets present also noted the delicious smell of Chanel No.5 in the air.
At publishing time, Trump took to Truth Social to announce that all his golf clubs were also missing.
The phrase “panty raid” appears to have touched a nerve over there on the Left...
The Babylon Bee is what the Onion used to be 20 years ago. Now the Onion is no longer doing comedy just like SNL.
The Babylon Bee is a national treasure.
He looks divine, darlings!
Thanks we needed the laugh things are getting super super serious! 😂
Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized
DOCTOR: "We give her one painless injection, and that's it. Her eyes may flutter a bit, or she may murmur "Are you for real killing me right now?" but then her struggle will finally be over."
Who wears a sun hat with an evening gown?
idea for a cartoon: J.. Edgar Hoover, wearing an old fashioned dress, when looking at the FBI agents wearing Melania’s dresses and underwear, said, to the music of “Well Dressed Man”, “And I thought that I was well dressed”.
When AG Garland retires or gets fired, he is going to open up one of these new stores that sells used underwear. His top salesman will be FBI director Wray, aka “Mr. Leather”.
Nancy the toothless Pelosi will be in charge of the “used schmottas” women’s clothing.
Chuck Schumer will be the lead make model.
I’m guessing a lot of the FBI Gestapo and their lefty buddies, especially those that can’t decide if they are a man or woman, are walking around wearing Melania’s underwear.
Well Melania doesn't need a fashion etiquette book, so none was at the ready.
Klinger wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit.
But who was the designated “panty sniffer”? Inquiring minds want to know.
I think they did ... during the days of Noah.
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