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White House Clarifies That Biden Only Claimed To Have Cancer Due To His Dementia
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/20/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/20/2022 5:20:14 PM PDT by DFG

SOMERSET, MA — After Biden seemed to announce he has cancer during a speech today, the White House quickly issued a retraction, clarifying that Biden only said that because of his dementia.

"No, Biden does not have cancer of any kind," said gay black Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "He was just confused due to his dementia. We assure you the President is in perfect health. We're even having trouble keeping up with him!"

The White House doctor confirmed the statement, saying Biden is in perfect shape. "I just examined Biden this morning, and except for a fungal infection in his left armpit and some dementia, there's nothing wrong with him at all," he said.

The White House said Biden will give his own statement as soon as they have a chance to adjust his medications.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; cancer; dementia; jeanpierre; prostatecancer

1 posted on 07/20/2022 5:20:14 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Dammit. Almost got me.


2 posted on 07/20/2022 5:22:53 PM PDT by dynachrome (“We cannot save Ukraine by dooming the US economy.” Rand Paul)
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To: DFG

The BB is representing old senile Joe! And doing a better job than his black lesbian spokeswoman.


3 posted on 07/20/2022 5:28:13 PM PDT by dennisw
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To: DFG

4 posted on 07/20/2022 5:33:56 PM PDT by Bobalu (A dem asked what side I was for in Ukraine, I said "I'm against the commies" -- He got real pissed!)
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To: DFG

Funny, but not much different from reality.

BTW, anyone hear of this “climate emergency” the domestic enemy occupation of President Donald Trumps office is suppose to announce? What does this mean, we will be banned from driving cars?

If so, pleeeeeeeeease please please PLEASE God let them be stupid enough to do this, this is exactly the kind of hardcore reality that will bitch slap the media indoctrinated right up the head.


5 posted on 07/20/2022 5:36:23 PM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda (As long as Hillary Clinton remains free, the USA will never have equal justice under the law)
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To: DFG

6 posted on 07/20/2022 5:42:18 PM PDT by Pollard (If there's a question mark in the headline, the answer should always be No.)
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To: DFG

Yeah, right.


7 posted on 07/20/2022 5:51:53 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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To: Pollard

Ain’t that the truth.


8 posted on 07/20/2022 5:53:09 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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To: DFG

He didn’t “seem” to announce it.

He actually said it.


9 posted on 07/20/2022 5:53:53 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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To: dynachrome

They did get me on this one.

Dang, they are good.


10 posted on 07/20/2022 5:54:48 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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To: DFG

The Bee nailed it!


11 posted on 07/20/2022 6:28:25 PM PDT by DocRock
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To: dynachrome

Damn....got me


12 posted on 07/20/2022 7:48:41 PM PDT by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: DFG

Well thank God for that


13 posted on 07/20/2022 8:03:17 PM PDT by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOWhx) )
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To: DFG

Wow, I feel so much better now. I thought he actually had cancer!😉


14 posted on 07/20/2022 8:55:50 PM PDT by The_Media_never_lie
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To: DFG

This is very upsetting to me as a cancer survivor, stage 3 colon cancer, took out 1/2 my guts with lemon-sized adenocarcenoma. my wife is a breast cancer survivor.

This stupid jackass Brandon has no idea how insulting it is to minimize suffering from cancer, when he sure as hell never had it.

I am sick of his lies, gaslighting, bullshittery and demented drivel.


15 posted on 07/20/2022 9:33:08 PM PDT by FlyingEagle
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To: DFG

Joe Biden’s other doctor: Mr. resident, you have stage four brain cancer and near end stage dementia and alzheimers.

Mr. resident: oh doc, that’s not so bad. atleast i don’t have cancer.


16 posted on 07/21/2022 5:17:23 AM PDT by teeman8r (Armageddon won't be pretty, but it's not like it's the end of the world or something )
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