Posted on 05/27/2022 2:06:29 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A senile old man in Washington who has a deadly nuclear arsenal at his fingertips is calling for dangerous weapons to be taken out of the hands of the mentally unstable.
"Listen, folks, this shouldn't be difficult," said the yammering old geriatric to a duck in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. "The mentally unstable shouldn't have guns! It's dangerous! Think of what could happen, Jack! They could fire it blindly through their front door because they heard a noise, or leave it right out in the open where a Taliban terrorist could pick it up, or accidentally kill innocent people they thought were bad guys but turned out to be foreign aid workers!" The man then dove face-first into the pool because the thought he saw an ice cream cone there.
Many Democrats are warning of chaos and death if mentally unstable people such as themselves ever get their hands on a firearm. "It would be a disaster," said one Democratic strategist. "Think of putting weapons in the hands of people who can't even define what a 'woman' is! I shudder at the thought! Please disarm us immediately!"
"It's real simple," said the old man as he climbed out of the Reflecting Pool, disappointed to have not found any ice cream. "Guns, tanks, drones, nukes—all that stuff—we gotta take those away from people who aren't mentally fit!"
At publishing time, the man was on the run after taking an ice cream cone he mistook for a handgun out of the hands of a tourist.
Once again I had to make myself look before realizing that it’s The Bee.
Gee I “wonder” who that might be...
Hey Dude I can nuke the US
This is funny (in a laugh to keep from crying kind of way) but it isn’t satire. It’s the reality we all currently suffer!
I’ll turn in my AR ... but I’m keeping my F-15!
As funny and sad as it is....it ain’t satire this time.
Top Ten
But drug dealing crack head pimps are just fine. So are convicted felon ANTFIA goons, hell they parade those goons as a Saint if they get shot while trying to kill a kid.
Couldn’t be Biden - the guy who jumped into the Reflecting Pool wasn’t naked.
There is nothing better than the Babylon Bee!!!
This is the real story on the premeditated murderer. https://republicbrief.com/teen-who-knew-uvalde-shooter-drops-bomb-about-him/
The Bee needs to stick with satire, they are becoming real purveyors of truth!
This is actually truth with an ironic twist.
“Guns Should Not Be In The Hands Of The Mentally Unstable,’ Says Senile Man With Nukes”
The Babylon Bee has printed a true statement for a change.
Did th e Bee just plagerize msnbc?
Great laugh from the Bee...
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