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Loud Cheering Heard From Lockheed Martin Board Room
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/24/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/24/2022 2:19:30 PM PST by DFG

BETHESDA, MD—Sources within Lockheed Martin confirmed today that loud cheering was heard coming from the defense contractor's executive board room.

The cheers coincided with the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, as multiple voices within the U.S. condemned the attack and suggested that America intervene in the dispute.

"YEEEEEAH!!!!" came a cry echoing through the building. The sounds of high-fives, pounding on the conference table, and a loud, thumping chest bump were also heard. At one point, a chant erupted of, "WAR! WAR! WAR!" Some employees claim they heard the sound of a champagne bottle being opened, while others say confetti poppers went off throughout the morning.

One source said they heard a repetitive metal tapping sound, which was later confirmed to be the sound of sabers rattling, while another said she heard a loud, rhythmic booming, which was later confirmed to be war drums.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Lockheed Martin was throwing a free pizza party for all employees at their main offices.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; believedit; defense; lockheed; russia; satire; ukraine
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To: Magnum44
I cant speak to what goes on in a executive board room...

Both sides can be correct - I believe many military contractors unknowingly work for truly evil men.
21 posted on 02/24/2022 2:39:56 PM PST by larrytown (A Cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do. Then they graduate...)
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To: Theophilus

What you find humorous is particularly insulting and inappropriate given the events of the last several days. Sorry you cant see that. No one except brutes relish war.


22 posted on 02/24/2022 2:40:59 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: ColoCdn

But why, then, would a five star general who happened to become president of the United States publicly warn about said military industry complex?

Ike was decades ahead of the curve on the danger of the permanent state and the cancer that is corporatism.


23 posted on 02/24/2022 2:43:33 PM PST by Flick Lives (The CDC. Brought to you by Pfizer.)
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To: Theophilus

“Chief of the Teat says “sacrifice all employees who won’t take the jab”, these companies will do it without a hesitation or objection.”

They were doing it. Boeing, LM, Raytheon, Northrup, all of them.


24 posted on 02/24/2022 2:44:36 PM PST by CodeToad (Arm up! They Have!)
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To: DFG

Lindsey Graham’s kneepads have their logo on them...sarc


25 posted on 02/24/2022 2:46:35 PM PST by Nextrush (FREEDOM IS EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS REMEMBER PASTOR NIEMOLLER)
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To: Magnum44
Not really funny. Disappointed in the Bee for this. I cant speak to what goes on in a executive board room, but military contractors are no more happy about war than the military troops who have to suffer it are. We all do our job and our duty, and our job is to help the warrior succeed and come home. Sorry for the rant but this is poor taste.

Thanks for your service, but I worked for Raytheon and I can tell you, that they are popping corks in Bean Town.

Please don't tell me that every major beltway bandit isn't whooping it up because their checks will go sky high {and they don't give a fat rat's ass about any grunt {US or other wise} that gets killed in a "foreign war".

I was one of those grunts, and I know.

26 posted on 02/24/2022 2:49:59 PM PST by USS Alaska (NUKE ALL MOOSELIMB TERRORISTS, NOW.)
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To: Flick Lives

Probably a large order for ground weapons like the Javelin.

https://www.lockheedmartin.com/en-us/capabilities/weapon-systems.html


27 posted on 02/24/2022 2:50:24 PM PST by Justa (If where you came from is so great then why aren't Floridians moving there?)
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To: All

.
The Army declined to Investigate Alexander Vindman for passing Classified info that was on a need to know basis.

Not to mention substituting his Policies for the Commander in Chief.

Corruption has Consequences.


28 posted on 02/24/2022 2:52:24 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (‘’)
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To: DFG

Carpetbagger Cheney and Lindsay Graham were probably leading the cheers.


29 posted on 02/24/2022 2:53:48 PM PST by TomGuy (!)
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To: DFG
The cheers coincided with the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, as multiple voices within the U.S. condemned the attack and suggested that America intervene in the dispute.

I know and like the Bee's satire, but this isn't funny because there's no chance America will intervene (nor should it).
30 posted on 02/24/2022 2:57:04 PM PST by AnotherUnixGeek
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To: ColoCdn

What is called the military industrial complex grew out of the need to arm up to fight WWII and then the cold war with its proxy wars following that. That industry fed a need. It fills a need today, and does so on ever smaller margins.

Executives make way more than I ever did, and like politicians, they are in a world of money and power playing that I have no desire to be a part of. Associating the hundreds of thousands of serviceman or contract employees with the greed of the elite is unjustified.

And idiots that post here disrespect those that fought and died so they could have the blessed life we still have today, despite the corruption and thievery from Washington.

Ike warned against corruption. He was saying dont let the industry define the problem and direct the solution. If you know anything about govt contracting, the govt customer comes to the industry asking for solutions at affordable prices. The industry negotiates rates that meet the govt pocketbook and are still fair to the investors. One doesnt have to like every deal, but thats the way our market system works. And there has been no system more successful in history, so be careful if you want to change it.


31 posted on 02/24/2022 2:59:40 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: All
344-BA723-7-B01-4563-92-BC-D9-CCCCF0-DEE3

Yet, he admitted to passing Classified info to people not cleared to have it.



32 posted on 02/24/2022 3:01:25 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (‘’)
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To: Trailerpark Badass

Smedley had it down back in the 1930’s.


33 posted on 02/24/2022 3:03:37 PM PST by jospehm20
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To: Magnum44

“j...but military contractors are no more happy about war than the military troops who have to suffer it are.”

In other words, they are sad when they lobby for those lucrative defense contracts. And politicians, when they leave office, are forced to take those lucrative lobbying jobs for the defense contractors. And Eisenhower was talking out of his head when he warned of the military/industrial complex.

Were you born on planet Earth?


34 posted on 02/24/2022 3:04:15 PM PST by odawg
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To: AnthonySoprano

Maybe he will pick up a rifle and go defend his beloved Ukraine?


35 posted on 02/24/2022 3:05:25 PM PST by jospehm20
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To: DFG

Latest Fallout Game released.


36 posted on 02/24/2022 3:06:56 PM PST by kanawa ((Securing the 2022/2024 elections is of paramount importance.))
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To: Magnum44

.

I am proactive, so I looked this up a couple weeks ago.

When the Cold War started, the US debt was around $250 Billion.

In Biden’s short term, in just one Bill, he sent that much money to the just the States that Voted for him!

We have $30 Trillion in Debt and our Debt to GDP ratio is roughly 130%

Russia’s is 18%.

We can’t afford a Cold War, and the Military Leadership is focused on Domestic Woke Policies and propelling Dems to President and controlling positions in Congress.

The Intel Committee has Adam Schiff and China Eric Swalwell.

.


37 posted on 02/24/2022 3:10:55 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (‘’)
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To: Magnum44

I want to thank you for your comments, I am a retired Lockheed Martin Systems Engineer and no one in management would outwardly express any joy at another countries collapse.

Whether some employees would adjust their thinking towards a potential for more sales is highly probable. But the corporate cuilture is not for warfare — and I doubt that it was even back when I worked for them.

We recognized that weapon systems were a necessary part of a national position and we were willing to agree not to be the first to strike. But the Bee is making a severe mistake in their satire.
KC


38 posted on 02/24/2022 3:11:38 PM PST by KC_for_Freedom (retired aerospace engineer and CSP who also taught)
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To: Magnum44
War is both the awful judgment but also a mercy of our righteous and Holy Almighty God.

There are much worse fates than war such as: rape, slavery, subjugation and extermination.

War is also the health of the state and her subsidiaries. "only the dead have seen the end of war".

39 posted on 02/24/2022 3:17:29 PM PST by Theophilus (Convoy!)
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To: kanawa

The Latest Bethesda Game is released, Fallout 2022 Kiev.


40 posted on 02/24/2022 3:18:10 PM PST by kanawa ((Securing the 2022/2024 elections is of paramount importance.))
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