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State Regrets Hiring Lionel Hutz To Prosecute Kyle Rittenhouse
The babylon Bee ^ | Nov 9 2021 | The Great Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/10/2021 6:41:02 AM PST by texas booster

KENOSHA, WI—As the prosecution rests its case in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial, state officials expressed regret over hiring lawyer Lionel Hutz to lead the prosecution.

"We were told he was one of the best," said the mayor of Kenosha, Bob Kenosha. "Some guy down at Moe's Tavern told us he was the man for the job. I'm feeling pretty disappointed right now."

According to sources, Hutz brought in video evidence of Rittenhouse's innocence and coached his witnesses to testify that they pointed a gun at the defendant first.

"Apparently, Lionel Hutz thought he was on the defense team," said Mayor Kenosha. "We tried to tell him he was actually the prosecutor but it was too late. Then he tried to stop everything by saying 'objection' over and over and then tried to distract the jury by removing his pants."

In the end, Hutz moved for a "bad court thingy"—which apparently meant a mistrial—but was denied by the judge.


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; gaigegrosskreutz; illinois; kenosha; kylerittenhouse; rittenhouse; satire; thebabylonbee; wisconsin
This is today's entry in the "Life Imitates Art" contest.

Did The Simpsons Show predict everything that is to come?

1 posted on 11/10/2021 6:41:02 AM PST by texas booster
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To: texas booster

The facts would not change...


2 posted on 11/10/2021 6:43:28 AM PST by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing obamacare is worse than obamacare itself)
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To: texas booster

Ahh - the Bee. Missed that initially.


3 posted on 11/10/2021 6:44:01 AM PST by jimfree (My 19 y/o granddaughter continues to have more quality exec experience than Joe Biden.)
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To: texas booster

I guess the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer wasn’t available.


4 posted on 11/10/2021 6:44:40 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: All

The Most Blatant Case Of Fraudulent Advertising Since My Suit Against The Film “The Neverending Story”.


5 posted on 11/10/2021 6:44:50 AM PST by janetjanet998
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To: texas booster

Press photo of Atty Hutz in court.

I am sure that he couldn't do worse than the ambulance chasers leading this farce.

6 posted on 11/10/2021 6:45:14 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: jimfree

I didn’t read the byline: My only thought was, ‘the name of the mayor of Kenosha is Bob Kenosha?”

Then I saw it was the bee.


7 posted on 11/10/2021 6:45:35 AM PST by Jim from C-Town (The government is rarely benevolent, often malevolent and never benign! )
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To: texas booster

Wanting a “do over” already huh? It don’t work like that.

When this is over this kid needs to sue every one in sight in civil court within an inch of their life.


8 posted on 11/10/2021 6:46:59 AM PST by V_TWIN
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To: Mr. K

Facts?

Since when have leftists ever cared about facts when conducting a show trial?

Remember - this is from the Babylon Bee.

More accurate than APCNNABCPMSNBCCBS et al.


9 posted on 11/10/2021 6:47:47 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: dfwgator

Back when snl was still funny.....its been a while


10 posted on 11/10/2021 6:47:57 AM PST by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

Both played by Phil Hartman, by the way.


11 posted on 11/10/2021 6:49:42 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: texas booster

I haven’t laughed so hard in awhile! God bless The Bee.


12 posted on 11/10/2021 6:50:06 AM PST by _Jim (Save babies)
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To: texas booster

13 posted on 11/10/2021 6:50:21 AM PST by C210N (Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.)
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To: texas booster

The Bee got me again, Ha ha!


14 posted on 11/10/2021 7:00:29 AM PST by Guenevere (When the foundations are being destroyed what can the righteous do t)
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To: texas booster

I guess Michael Nifong wasn’t available. (Yes I know he was disbarred.)


15 posted on 11/10/2021 7:06:35 AM PST by Spok
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To: texas booster

Oh SH!T...... he’s not a deception???


16 posted on 11/10/2021 7:24:11 AM PST by high info voter
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To: Jim from C-Town
Moe's Tavern

I missed the mayors name ...

But when I saw "Moe's Tavern" I thought - wait, there's a Moe's Tavern in Kenosha!?

17 posted on 11/10/2021 7:27:01 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: high info voter

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3928396/posts


18 posted on 11/10/2021 7:29:11 AM PST by TexasGator (UF)
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To: Jim from C-Town
I didn’t read the byline: My only thought was, ‘the name of the mayor of Kenosha is Bob Kenosha?”

[explosive laughter]

19 posted on 11/10/2021 7:35:02 AM PST by jimfree (My 19 y/o granddaughter continues to have more quality exec experience than Joe Biden.)
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To: texas booster

Do I still get paid?


20 posted on 11/10/2021 9:59:40 AM PST by pas
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