Posted on 11/08/2021 11:55:15 AM PST by Az Joe
Please excuse the personal nature of this story but I am getting very desperate and I thought there would be others on here that have dealt with a similar situation who might have advice/suggestions/etc
My son married this gal (SWMBO) 10 years ago. As time has gone on she has become more and more: Controlling, domineering, misandristic (hatred of men), you name the pathology.
Obviously, sad to admit, my son has completely lost his balls. He works hard and prefers to lay back and let her run roughshod over my 3 grandkids, me, him and whoever else might cross her path. SWMBO drops the 3 kids off at school in the morning and then does nothing until she goes and picks them up at the end of the day. She certainly doesn't clean the house or yard up. I think she plays computer games/watches TV all day. She doesn’t do much to keep up her physical appearance. My son comes home from work and takes the kids out to the park or community pool while she stays home. She does cook the meals. I watch the dogs on occasion for them while they’re up north a hundred miles to her mothers for several days. Once I found the kitchen in a horrible state of filth. Food on the floor, (chunks of it,) dishes piled in the sink and all over the counters two feet high. The children’s rooms a total disaster area. It was sickening. So I went to work and did what I could. But I felt heartbroken for my son, who works so hard to provide for his family.
SWMBO has become enraged with me a couple of times to the point, that at times, if I didn't walk away, I think she may have physically attacked me when I have simply ignored her and went about my business of visiting my son and my 3 grandkids. She tries to be extremely provocative in order to get me to respond and get myself in trouble. Fortunately I know women like her and remain calm.
A teetotaler myself, I found help from ACOA meetings (Adult Children of Alcoholics). These groups are related to the Alcoholics Anonymous model, and they are a cost-free source of help, if your son can find a group near him. It's something he could do for himself and his children, assuming he can get out of the house for a couple of hours one evening a week. Maybe you can help by minding the kids.
You yourself might be also be helped by Al-Anon, the group for the spouse of the alcoholic, even though you are no longer with her. The behaviors in both the abuser and the family members that keep them locked in dysfunction linger on and on, until someone finds the ways to stop triggering and being triggered.
If you take it seriously and give it thought, it is life-changing.
It's best that you and your son do not attend the same group.
You mean dad, right? The original post is from the grandfather, not the grandmother. The grandfather was married to an alcoholic, who is the mother of the son who is in the middle of this tangle.
Yeah I missed the pronoun in all my excitement to post.
Sorry
Maybe start with a pastor. I don’t know. Way too much history and too many problems for one answer.
I hope I made it clear that it was a losing battle, but at least the effort put her under scrutiny.
If I had more video evidence I would have won.
But Family Court is not fair and just... It’s two lawyers fighting with each other until all the money is gone.
Please keep us posted as it is quite heartening to learn when prayers have been answered.
In the meantime, take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, laugh as often as you can, and enjoy life. You mentioned up thread you were overweight, diabetic, and only 67. :) Please consider looking into intermittent fasting. It’s a great way to get in shape and may help with your diabetes.(I lost 20 pounds in 30 days by fasting for 24 hours at a clip; then the next 24 hours ate anything except grain, dairy, and sugar.) I still fast 18 hours per day now as a way of life and feel great. I have a stand up paddle board that keeps me in shape, my balance is incredible, and nature is heaven on earth.
Good luck FRiend.
Thanks FRiend
I knew it was in The Book
just to lazy to search.
.
I had it close during her/my Divorce.
.
Thanks
Thank you. I did not remember that quote. Very nice.
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