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10 Reasons You'd Be Crazy Not To Get Your Kids Vaccinated
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/04/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/04/2021 12:24:22 PM PDT by DFG

Yay! A COVID-19 vaccine is now available for children!

Now, you might be wondering why you need to give an experimental vaccine to your kids when they’ve never really been at risk from COVID-19, and that makes you a horrible person. Because when it comes to COVID-19, you’re just supposed to do whatever you're told and not ask questions. Still, here are ten reasons to get your kids vaccinated.

If 100% of kids are vaccinated, maybe you’ll be allowed to not wear a mask. Maybe. Who knows? Could happen. Or not. Whatever.

All the cool kids are doing it. Or maybe it’s the dorks. I don’t really understand the kid hierarchy anymore. Anyway, the really weird-looking kids are doing it.

The deadline for Pfizer’s fourth-quarter sales goals is coming up. You have Pfizer stock, right?

Fauci said so, and he’d never lie to us. I mean, he constantly lies to us, but for our own good.

Your kids were mouthing off. And injecting them with something is a way better punishment than taking away video games.

It demonstrates that you are a good citizen. “Look at my injected kids,” you will say. “Please increase my social score.”

Someone needs to try it to make sure it’s safe for colobus monkeys. If it’s fine for your kids, maybe it will be okay for monkeys.

It teaches your kids to be compliant. The next time someone offers them drugs, you don’t want them to ask a bunch of questions.

Maybe it will have cool side effects. Like mutating your kid into a shark. Shark kid! That would be awesome.

This is how we end the pandemic. Or at least it’s step 23 out of 347 steps to end the pandemic.

Go do it. Or you'll lose your job or something.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; children; covid; mandate; vaccine

1 posted on 11/04/2021 12:24:22 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

I’ll add one....totally destroying your healthy child’s heart so they can never leave you and will be 100% dependent on you...at least for the rest of their shortened life.


2 posted on 11/04/2021 12:27:20 PM PDT by griffin
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To: DFG

Babylon Bee is always amusing.

I wonder, though, if the pro-Vaxx people understand that the way the REAL stuff is pushed sounds almost the same as these jokes. For me, there are just no good reasons to take the jab. None. ALL of the arguments are ridiculous. Babylon Bee highlights that, of course, but the reality, I think, is (less funny) but just as stupid.


3 posted on 11/04/2021 12:32:29 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Alec Baldwin has killed more people than the Jan 6 protesters. And he will serve less jail time.)
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To: griffin

The jab mandates are a boon for those mothers with Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome.


4 posted on 11/04/2021 12:32:57 PM PDT by who_would_fardels_bear (This is not a tagline.)
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To: DFG

Crap, they got me...lol


5 posted on 11/04/2021 12:33:41 PM PDT by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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To: DFG

Hemorrhagic bleeding on the playground is fun.


6 posted on 11/04/2021 12:34:35 PM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: DFG

And don’t forget there’s a fair chance they won’t be burdened with children if they take the jab! Who wants kids?


7 posted on 11/04/2021 12:50:34 PM PDT by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem.)
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To: DFG

Major question will both I and my kids get increased social scores?


8 posted on 11/04/2021 12:53:58 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? Homer Simpson)
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To: DFG
AXEtheVAX

STAND FOR FREEDOM

Protest the Mandates
Nationwide Strike November 8 – 11 (Veterans Day)

Let’s hold the line! Join the four day no-show.

If you work in healthcare, education, telecom, supply chain or transport industries, government or in any sector – boycott all employers mandating the vax.

AXEtheVAX

9 posted on 11/04/2021 12:55:06 PM PDT by Psalm 73 ("You'll never hear surf music again" - J. Hendrix)
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To: griffin

lower your chances of having grand kids and thus less likely to have to baby sit!


10 posted on 11/04/2021 1:31:24 PM PDT by cableguymn (We need a redneck in the white house.... But the fact checkers said theintjey did story was false!)
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To: DFG

My eight year old obeyed the law proudly.

Still, we wish he could have made it to nine.


11 posted on 11/04/2021 4:13:26 PM PDT by LeoTDB69
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