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Dems Demand Statehood For Epstein's Private Island
Babylon Bee ^ | 04/24/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/25/2021 12:42:08 PM PDT by DFG

CARIBBEAN SEA—In an effort to gain 2 more Democrat senators, The Democrat party is calling for statehood to be granted to Little Saint James in the Caribbean-- also known as Epstein's Island.

"The good people of Epstein's Island have been denied representation in Congress for far too long," said Nancy Pelosi to the press. The island has been a second home to influential members of Congress for decades. It is a place in keeping with the finest traditions of Washington politicians, and it's high time they got two Senators to send to Congress."

Those familiar with the island say it is a lovely 72-acre piece of land with a sprawling resort built on it. It is also home to dozens of working-class servants and massage therapists.

"Some of these residents are people of color, so if you disagree with Epstein Island statehood, you're a racist," said Pelosi.

Detractors argue that the island is a wretched hive of scum and villainy inhabited by corrupt, sex-predator politicians and lobbyists. They have suggested granting statehood to D.C. instead.


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; epstein; humor; statehood

1 posted on 04/25/2021 12:42:08 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Supercalafragalisticepsteindidntkillhimself.


2 posted on 04/25/2021 12:43:09 PM PDT by Edward Teach ( )
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To: DFG
What do paintings and Epstein have in common?....

...

They both need somebody to hang them.

3 posted on 04/25/2021 12:47:15 PM PDT by Nateman (Keep Liberty Alive! Article V!)
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To: DFG

Don’t give them any ideas!


4 posted on 04/25/2021 1:08:38 PM PDT by rockabyebaby (THE BEST IS YET TO COME - (PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP)
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To: Edward Teach

Headline even more brilliant than Mr. Musk.


5 posted on 04/25/2021 1:17:15 PM PDT by Scarpetta (I )
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To: DFG
“Things get curiouser and curiouser”, said Alice
6 posted on 04/25/2021 1:19:36 PM PDT by hoe_cake (A Descendant of the Signers of the Constitution. )
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To: DFG

7 posted on 04/25/2021 1:23:30 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set. )
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To: DFG

New Narcissist’s Sex Cult Discovered Filled With People Who Influenced Politicians And Public Policy
https://djhjmedia.com/kari/new-narcissists-sex-cult-discovered-filled-with-people-who-influenced-politicians-and-public-policy/


8 posted on 04/25/2021 1:37:56 PM PDT by minnesota_bound (I need more money. )
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To: DFG

I’m surprised the Democrats haven’t already proposed this.


9 posted on 04/25/2021 1:56:26 PM PDT by KittyKares (I miss President Trump!)
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To: DFG

The Bee has outdone themselves this time!


10 posted on 04/25/2021 3:59:00 PM PDT by Campion (What part of "shall not be infringed" don't they understand?)
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