But I guess at a certain point one should know what questions to ask of oneself when contemplating marriage and one probably already made enough mistakes to know what not to repeat.
5. Do you realize that all women are crazy?
Let me be the first to say it: MEN, DO NOT GET MARRIED. IT’S NOT WORTH IT.
6. What’s her bra size?
I would add:
“5. If he/she had an incurable venereal disease, could you be happy you got it from this partner, even if they divorced you in the future?”
7.) Are you okay with her maturing and looking like her mother?
1-Do you share the same values and religion?
2-Are you True Friends
3-Do you have mutual Trust and Respect?
These are the foundation and less likely to change over time.
Too many site similar interests, good communication, and good sex, which are all much more subject to change and do not form a foundation.
Premarital counseling before marriage, discussing all of this, would help many couples decide if they really should get married.
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IMO, this is The Big Mistake women make (and I am one, so I can be critical) - “he’ll change when we’re married” or “I can change this (behavior, habit, vice, issue) in him once we’re married”.
No & No. You get what you marry. Do not plan on changing anything. If he figures out something about his behavior is bad for the relationship & HE decides it’s worth it to change, then that’s a different matter. Women SHOULD NOT marry a man they want to change & think a license/ring will make it happen.
It goes both ways, but I think women make this mistake far more frequently than men, from what I’ve observed.
1. Is this person your best friend?
2. Do you enjoy spending time with this person’s family?
“It is said, behind every successful man is a woman. But, behind every unsuccessful man is two women. The secret to marriage is not screwing around.”
-—— Jay Leno
It will be 61 years this coming Friday that wife & I got married...
The priest asked a couple of questions... We both answered yes...
We did not have the nine (9) kids we planned on... (Wife had 9 brothers and sisters...)
However three was fun and, now, lots & lots of grandchildren and great grandchildren...
Also, importantly, they are all “deplorable” and fully prepared..😀
I'd say don't overthink it. If you try to think through everything that is involved in a long life together and a family, the ups and downs, triumphs and tragedies, it could seem very daunting to young people.
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
Men always hope their wife never changes and women always hope to change their man.
The part I like is that the bride the writer referenced was told by her parents not to think about the sunk cost of the wedding. If she didn’t want to marry the guy, don’t.
My late father told me the night before my wedding, “If you decide you don’t want to marry him, don’t. We’ll have the party anyway!” He was a great man.
I married him. 32 years and ten children, it’s been pretty okay.
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
———————————————————————
As is often said. A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change, but she does. A woman marries a man hoping that he will change, but he does not.
These are good questions, and even after 37 yrs of marriage I would say yes to them, more enthusiastically today than then.
The flaw is in the person answering the questions. Those couples in the zone I call The Feverish Nuptials (that period of time leading up to a wedding where you actually cannot talk them out of it, even if the other person is a felon, a cannibal, a druggie and an abuser, just because love), will say yes even against the testimony of friends and family.