Posted on 04/05/2021 3:27:40 PM PDT by CheshireTheCat
For the young ones… and the mature, as needs be…
Many people marry for the wrong reasons and end up single, often with obligations, and holding a cynical view of love and relationships. But a short, simple test can help guide you toward what a successful marriage may look like.
If you and your potential spouse can both answer “yes” to most or all four of these questions, then you may end up with a great marriage. Of course, there are no guarantees. Life always has a way of surprising us.
Ask yourself each question. Can you say yes to each?
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
2) Would you like to become more like this person?
3) If you were to have a child with someone, would you want to have a child with this person?
4) If the child grew up to be exactly like this person, would that be OK?
I once got a call from my wife. She was at the home of a friend whose daughter was going to be married in one week to her high school sweetheart. She was visiting her mother, crying and upset, unsure whether the marriage was a good idea....
(Excerpt) Read more at ricochet.com ...
But I guess at a certain point one should know what questions to ask of oneself when contemplating marriage and one probably already made enough mistakes to know what not to repeat.
5. Do you realize that all women are crazy?
Let me be the first to say it: MEN, DO NOT GET MARRIED. IT’S NOT WORTH IT.
6. What’s her bra size?
I would add:
“5. If he/she had an incurable venereal disease, could you be happy you got it from this partner, even if they divorced you in the future?”
7.) Are you okay with her maturing and looking like her mother?
1-Do you share the same values and religion?
2-Are you True Friends
3-Do you have mutual Trust and Respect?
These are the foundation and less likely to change over time.
Too many site similar interests, good communication, and good sex, which are all much more subject to change and do not form a foundation.
I tell the younger guys at work.....
Go to a bar, find a woman that hates your guts, buy her a car and a house, then give her half your pay for the next twenty years and you’ll save money not having to pay attorneys fees.
I can say I am glad to be with my wife.
She thinks I’m wonderful, and I don’t even feel like I’m doing anything. I think she’s great, too.
Your questions are what my wife and I answered positively.
Premarital counseling before marriage, discussing all of this, would help many couples decide if they really should get married.
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IMO, this is The Big Mistake women make (and I am one, so I can be critical) - “he’ll change when we’re married” or “I can change this (behavior, habit, vice, issue) in him once we’re married”.
No & No. You get what you marry. Do not plan on changing anything. If he figures out something about his behavior is bad for the relationship & HE decides it’s worth it to change, then that’s a different matter. Women SHOULD NOT marry a man they want to change & think a license/ring will make it happen.
It goes both ways, but I think women make this mistake far more frequently than men, from what I’ve observed.
1. Is this person your best friend?
2. Do you enjoy spending time with this person’s family?
Do not marry a woman with more than two sisters. My wife has six sisters, it's like the GEICO commercial with the couple who has an aunt problem.
We moved 600 miles so my wife could "spread her wings". Within a few years, 3 of her sisters moved near us. For a time, two were living just a couple of blocks away from us.
They take so much of my wife's time, on the phone, or needing help in some form or fashion.
“It is said, behind every successful man is a woman. But, behind every unsuccessful man is two women. The secret to marriage is not screwing around.”
-—— Jay Leno
That is an extremely difficult situation.
On the one hand, you want to stop him from making a mistake, as you see it, and on the other hand, you know he’s going to tell his girlfriend about your feelings.
That might push him towards her, in a sort of “us against the world” type of thing.
Prayers for you; perhaps consult your priest or minister.
Once I was very depressed and talked to my priest about wanting to kill myself. He said, “You know who’s putting those thoughts in your head. The Evil One.” To top it all off, he was Irish and had the accent. So Evil One sounded even more menacing.
I wish you the best as you face this challenge.
It’s always been my attitude that a man marries a woman for who she is, while a woman marries a man so she can mold him into what she wants.
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