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Kamala Harris's Cackle To Be Played Over Hell's Loudspeakers For All Eternity
Babylon Bee ^
| 10/26/2020
Posted on 10/27/2020 4:53:48 AM PDT by DFG
HELL—In a bid to increase torture in the afterlife, managers of Hell confirmed today that Kamala Harris's grating cackle will be played over the loudspeakers in the place of perpetual torment for all eternity.
"Effective immediately, we are no longer playing Limp Bizkit 24/7," said one spokesperson. "We are switching to the Kamala cackle. Studies have shown this is the most effective way to punish people for their sins."
People in hell quickly filed a lawsuit claiming this form of torture is "cruel and unusual," even for people who offended a holy God. The only judge who hears such cases, though, is God, so their appeal was denied.
"NOOOO!!!" they screamed in unison as Harris's cackle began to play. "PLEASE! WE'LL DO ANYTHING! MAKE IT STOP! BRING BACK THE SCORPION BADGERS!"
Millions still living on Earth immediately converted to Christ in a desperate attempt to avoid the torture, including Joe Biden.
TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cackle; harris; kamala
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1
posted on
10/27/2020 4:53:48 AM PDT
by
DFG
To: DFG
2
posted on
10/27/2020 4:57:09 AM PDT
by
billorites
(freepo ergo sum)
To: DFG
3
posted on
10/27/2020 4:59:02 AM PDT
by
Travis McGee
(EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
To: DFG
And here I thought the Democrat standard-bearer of 2016 had the ultimate shriek/cackle that would remind everybody of the worst female acquaintance they may have known upon this plane of existence.
Herself does not hold a candle to Chameleon.
Knowledge of voodoo and arcane Eastern mysticism in practice of the dark arts gives Chameleon the definite edge.
4
posted on
10/27/2020 5:03:26 AM PDT
by
alloysteel
("The Best Is Yet to Come "- theme of 2020 RNC)
To: DFG
Does someone have an audio clip?
It would be a great phone ringtone.
5
posted on
10/27/2020 5:07:59 AM PDT
by
ptsal
(Vote R.E.D. >>>Remove Every Democrat ***)
To: ptsal
6
posted on
10/27/2020 5:10:00 AM PDT
by
Blennos
To: DFG
"It's no 'Debbie Does Dallas'!" Joe Biden, Aug 4, 2020
7
posted on
10/27/2020 5:12:07 AM PDT
by
Patriot_MP
(Si vis pacem, para bellum)
To: DFG
Didn’t they play a Hillary cackle remix ‘til now, with a GIF of Helen Thomas dancing nude with Angela Merkel on the big screen?
8
posted on
10/27/2020 5:12:59 AM PDT
by
Eleutheria5
(JOBS NOT MOBS!)
To: DFG; Mrs. Don-o; Elsie
I don't mean to get technical on a Bee article, but I don't believe the souls in hell
offended a holy God. I believe God still loves the souls in hell but they did not follow his commandments. God is love but He is also justice, and hell is part of that package. If anything, the souls in hell found God to be offensive.
I'm not a theologian nor do I play on in TV, so I am copying my resident FReeper experts on such matters (who are probably thinking "why is he pinging me?....it is a BEE article!").
9
posted on
10/27/2020 5:19:31 AM PDT
by
DoodleBob
(Gravity's waiting period is about 9.8 m/s^2)
To: ptsal
Hahahaha...that might cause me to throw my phone into the pond!
10
posted on
10/27/2020 5:27:45 AM PDT
by
rlmorel
("Leftism is the plaything of a society with too much time on its hands." - Candace Owens)
To: DFG
11
posted on
10/27/2020 5:42:59 AM PDT
by
metmom
(...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
To: DFG
12
posted on
10/27/2020 6:02:58 AM PDT
by
logi_cal869
(-cynicus the "concern troll" a/o 10/03/2018 /!i!! &@$%&*(@ -)
To: DFG
13
posted on
10/27/2020 6:14:08 AM PDT
by
HippyLoggerBiker
(Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.)
To: DFG
While tied to a chair watching a no-hitter Bball game.
14
posted on
10/27/2020 6:17:41 AM PDT
by
SkyDancer
(~ Pilots: Looking Down On People Since 1903 ~)
To: DFG
It is not the cackle itself that is so off-putting. It is the context, in the middle of serious questioning.
15
posted on
10/27/2020 6:21:10 AM PDT
by
lurk
To: DFG
16
posted on
10/27/2020 6:24:37 AM PDT
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: DoodleBob
I believe you are correct.
17
posted on
10/27/2020 6:51:14 AM PDT
by
RCFlyer
To: DFG
18
posted on
10/28/2020 5:01:09 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: DoodleBob
...my resident FReeper experts on such matters (who are probably thinking "why is he pinging me?You got THIS right!!
19
posted on
10/28/2020 5:06:27 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
To: DoodleBob
20
posted on
10/28/2020 5:07:27 AM PDT
by
Elsie
(Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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