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Top 10 Things NOT To Say During TSA Pat-Down
Grand Rants ^ | 11-24-10 | Gerry Ashley

Posted on 11/24/2010 9:06:44 AM PST by Stoutcat

During this most busy travel season, delays are unavoidable. And with many people threatening to boycott the new TSA scanning/ pat-down process, delays are likely to be even longer.

As a public service to our readers, Grand Rants would like to offer a few suggestions that can minimize your delays and make your travel a bit safer and less burdensome...

10.) Who me? Oh, I’m not actually going anywhere. But it’s been months since I’ve been on a date and…

9.) I’m ready, babe, and my seatback and tray tables are in their full upright position, if you get my drift.

8.) What do you say we get a couple of Long Island Iced Teas and then get down to business here?

...

(Excerpt) Read more at grandrants.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Politics; Society; Travel
KEYWORDS: adulthumor; alreadyposted; tsa; tsapervs
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To: Stoutcat

11. Give me the Gloria Allred treatment. She highly recommends it.


21 posted on 11/24/2010 9:42:15 AM PST by DManA
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To: keats5

At least they said “thank you”.


22 posted on 11/24/2010 9:43:37 AM PST by DManA
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To: Stoutcat

Yes, That is the battery pack for my prosthetic penile implant.


23 posted on 11/24/2010 9:44:19 AM PST by Waverunner (I'd like to welcome our new overlords, say hello to my little friend)
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To: Stoutcat

Grope and Change!


24 posted on 11/24/2010 9:47:20 AM PST by momincombatboots (In a few months I will be Ore..Gone! Look out Crater Lake, here we come!)
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To: Stoutcat

Pull my finger.


25 posted on 11/24/2010 9:48:32 AM PST by Protect the Bill of Rights
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To: Stoutcat

ping


26 posted on 11/24/2010 9:50:14 AM PST by cowtowney
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To: Stoutcat

It’s HUGH.....and Series !


27 posted on 11/24/2010 9:55:49 AM PST by onona (dbada)
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To: Stoutcat

Your Mamma joke, your Mamma so ugly the TSA won’t touch her.


28 posted on 11/24/2010 9:58:31 AM PST by Lees Swrd ("Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe and preserve order in the world as well")
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To: maine-iac7
The current snatch and grab system GUARANTEES that 9 out of 10 terrorists will get on board a plane Free and Clear.

That's probably its purpose.

29 posted on 11/24/2010 10:00:08 AM PST by muawiyah (GIT OUT THE WAY ~ REPUBLICANS COMIN' THROUGH)
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To: Stoutcat

Should I turn my head and cough?


30 posted on 11/24/2010 10:02:54 AM PST by Daveinyork
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To: Lees Swrd

Here’s a fiver, it’s the standard for a hand job........


31 posted on 11/24/2010 10:05:31 AM PST by sniper63 (Plug the hole in the border daddy........)
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To: DManA

Have your wife fake orgasm and then you say “I’ll have what she’s having”


32 posted on 11/24/2010 10:07:33 AM PST by wilco200 (11/4/08 - The Day America Jumped the Shark)
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To: Stoutcat

mark for giggles..


33 posted on 11/24/2010 10:09:19 AM PST by MissTed
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To: Stoutcat
Top 10 Things NOT To Say During TSA Pat-Down

6.) My balls itch...

34 posted on 11/24/2010 10:15:33 AM PST by mcmuffin ("If Obama were any more thin skinned, he'd have a reservoir tip" Dennis Miller Show.)
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To: Huskrrrr

Don’t be singing that old Doors tune, ‘C’mon baby light my fire — try to set the world on—fire.....’


35 posted on 11/24/2010 10:39:04 AM PST by tflabo
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To: Stoutcat

“Hi, Jack!”


36 posted on 11/24/2010 10:44:53 AM PST by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
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To: Stoutcat

I would just moan and smile . . .


37 posted on 11/24/2010 10:47:47 AM PST by ßuddaßudd (7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona.....)
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To: Stoutcat

I usually insist on dinner and a movie first...


38 posted on 11/24/2010 11:05:53 AM PST by Kolb ("Man is not free unless government is limited." - Ronald Reagan)
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To: tflabo

Good one!


39 posted on 11/24/2010 11:08:29 AM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: Stoutcat

“I hope you don’t catch what I’ve got.”


40 posted on 11/24/2010 11:52:16 AM PST by Charles Henrickson
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