Posted on 04/12/2010 2:04:43 PM PDT by jerry557
Psychologist John Buss estimates that for most of human history, perhaps 2% of women have been lesbian or bisexual (see note 1, below). Not any more. Recent surveys of teenage girls and young women find that roughly 15% of young females today self-identify as lesbian or bisexual, compared with about 5% of young males who identify as gay or bisexual (see note 2, below).
As a physician and a psychologist, what I found missing in the noise surrounding the Constance McMillen story was any serious discussion of why a growing number of girls self-identify as lesbian or bisexual. Not that there's anything wrong with that, as Seinfeld might say. But why are young women today at least three times more likely than their brothers to identify as bisexual or homosexual? "I kissed a girl and I liked it," Katy Perry told us in her #1 hit single. Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore - they all want us to know that they are bisexual. There is no comparable crowd of young male celebrities rushing to assure us that they go both ways. Imagine a young man singing "I kissed a boy and I liked it." Would that song reach #1 on the charts? Why not?
Why is it OK for girls to be bisexual or homosexual, but not boys?
Over the past seven years, I've posed this question to hundreds of teenagers and young adults across the United States. The most common answer I get isn't really an answer. "Girls kiss other girls at parties because guys like it," one teenage girl told me. "It makes the guys hoot and holler, so the girls do it again. They're just doing it for attention. It's not for real."
Female sexuality is different from male sexuality. If a straight boy kissed another boy, perhaps to amuse some girls who might be watching, he would be unlikely to undergo a change in sexual orientation as a result. But, as Professor Roy Baumeister at Florida State University and others have shown, sexual attraction in many women seems to be more malleable (see note 3 below). If a teenage girl kisses another teenage girl, for whatever reason, and she finds that she likes it - then things can happen, and things can change. If a young woman finds her soulmate, and her soulmate happens to be female, then she may begin to experience feelings she's never felt before.
Which brings me to the second point I've encountered in my interviews with young people. Twenty years ago, when I opened my practice in a suburb of Washington DC, it was rare to find 14-year-old boys who were looking at pornography every day. Today it's common, in fact it's becoming the norm. When I meet with a group of 14-year-old boys and I ask them, "how many of you guys subscribe to a porn site?", all hands go up. I don't believe them. But today, no boy wants to admit that he's the weirdo who doesn't look at online porn. Twenty years ago, hardcore pornography was tucked away in adult bookstores. Today any 14-year-old can access such photos online in seconds. Role models for young men, from pop singer John Mayer to the 2009 World Series MVP Hideki Matsui, talk openly about their collections of porn (see note 4, below).
Is there any connection between these two trends - between the rise in the number of young women who self-identify as lesbian or bisexual, and the increasing normalization and acceptance of pornography in the lives of young men? Maybe there is. A young woman told me how her boyfriend several years ago suggested that she shave her pubic hair, so that she might more closely resemble the porn stars who were this young man's most consistent source of sexual arousal. She now identifies herself as bisexual. "It was just such a welcome change, to snuggle under a blanket on the couch with my girlfriend, watch a movie, and talk about God and death and growing old, to be intimate emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. I don't know a guy who could even comprehend the conversations we have."
I wish Constance McMillen and her girlfriend all the best. But I have to wonder: Are there so many girl-girl couples out there because that's truly who they are - or because the guys are such losers?
it’s cool
like dating black guys since white guys are so dorky
/s
Because men are pigs. Most of us, anyway.
ask any prison guard in a woman’s prison
more women go lesbo than don’t
in a male prison, only one racial group practices homosexuality like no big deal as though it’s an opportunity thing with Nation of Islam being a big exception to that rule
they along with Alice Baker, Mexican gangs and Chinese gangs will kill a gang member for homo crap
women are different than men on this...not my wife though....she hates gay girl crap
some women go lesbo because they seek refuge
a male bisexual is a queer in denial....straight men only experiment with more punani or games, toys ..whatever..not other men.
it's a queer nation myth to make folks think it's more normal
It’s a scary world where my 11 grandchildren will have to venture.
Too bad you didn’t make it.
But at least you stood up for your convictions in a tough situation.
It doesn’t scare me. I’m raising our son to believe in Right and Wrong and Good and Evil, as defined by God via the Catholic Church. That, and setting a good example (faithfully married for 20 years) is all I can do. I hope he’s smart enough to learn about reality the easy way, by listening to his mother and me.
However, if God chooses to withdraw His Hand of protection from our boy once he’s an adult and allows him to go wild (as I was), he’ll have to learn about reality the hard way, as I did.
MY wife is a teacher, and suspects a lot of girls act gay so they don’t have to explain why they are without a boyfriend. She said there are a lot of girl students who say they are lesbian until they show up with a guy.
Also, it is glorified as a sexy thing.
part of what’s lacking in boys today is a blend of the two. there’s nothing wrong with looking ‘pretty’ but you still have to be a man. imagine cary grant looks with john wayne attitude.
todays problem with most boys is they have the looks, but not a shred of masculinity. so when a girl’s option is a boy that might as well be a girl, or an actual girl, its no surprise they pick the real thing.
girls today are taught to not respect their bodies, to have sex early and to act out in order to get a boy.
It’s high time for parents to stop this crap and teach their daughters to respect themselves and get involved in their kids life instead of letting them watch crap like MTV.
MTV
Because it is aggressively marketed, and not just by Hollywood and the media. Just look at how many 12-year old boys have popped up on this thread talking about how cool lesbianism is.
Must....refrain...from....making....joke...about....licking...stamps....
And as a word of warning to the guys, a father who spends all his time at home can still be ABSENT in his children's lives.
Your kids need your time and attention
a male bisexual is a queer in denial....straight men only experiment with more punani or games, toys ..whatever..not other men.
I disagree. A male bisexual is in reality a mentally diseased male heterosexual. A male "queer" is in reality a mentally diseased heterosexual.
There is no such thing as a "queer". Biology doen't lie. Tab A goes into slot B. Funny how that works isn't it.
I have a distant lesbian acquaintance who is a general contractor. She builds all her houses without studs. Everything is tongue in groove.
Indeed, John O. And that's the truth.
Thank you so much for writing!
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