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President Explains How Everyone Will Benefit from His Health Care Plan
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 12 September 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/13/2009 10:56:38 AM PDT by John Semmens

President Barack Obama took to the airwaves to dispel what he called “a barrage of lies and fear thrown up by the forces of evil incarnate.” The President went on to insist that “contrary to what my enemies are saying, not a single person will be made worse off by the reforms I have proposed.”

“The sick will get the care they need,” Obama promised. “My bill calls for panels of experts to determine the best practices for every illness. No longer will patients be at the mercy of a single doctor. A communal scope for decision making will ensure that maximal aggregate health outcomes are achieved.”

“The healthy will be able to rest assured that the ill will no longer be allowed to refuse treatment that experts decide is necessary to protect the community’s over all health,” the President continued. “Carriers of contagion will be dealt with before they can spread germs to others.”

“Costs will be contained by vigorous use of preventive measures,” Obama reassured. “Behaviors that undermine good health will be discouraged or banned. Exercise and good diet will be encouraged or mandated. If you’re obese or lazy and lack the will power to change, we will apply the will power externally. Dangerous pastimes will be regulated or outlawed. If we control behavior we can control costs.”

The President said “the lifestyle of a person in training for the Olympics will be our ‘gold standard’ for reforming the health of the nation. When all who can adopt it do, the few who cannot because of illness or disability will be a small enough contingent left for the government to deal with.”

The President expressed his optimism that “most of these objectives can be accomplished on an ‘outpatient’ basis, but provisions for dealing with ‘hard cases’ with a ‘residency-based’ approach will be included. No one will be permitted to selfishly ‘opt out.’ Everyone must cooperate for the good of the whole.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2009/09/12/president-explains-how-everyone-will-benefit-from-his-health-care-plan/


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: lies; obamacare; satire; socialism

1 posted on 09/13/2009 10:56:39 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
King Obama selling BS!
2 posted on 09/13/2009 10:58:06 AM PDT by Logical me (Oh, well!!!)
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To: John Semmens

Obama... you lie.


3 posted on 09/13/2009 10:58:38 AM PDT by Gator113 (YES WE CAN.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cMxJBenigY&feature=related)
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To: John Semmens

Obama — YOU LIE!!!!!


4 posted on 09/13/2009 10:59:43 AM PDT by bmwcyle (Liberals feed on dead Senators and babies)
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To: John Semmens

POS. Excrement. Liar.


5 posted on 09/13/2009 11:00:17 AM PDT by GOP Poet
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To: John Semmens

HELL I can explain statistics...does that mean I CAN TEACH IT??? Explanations are like a$$holes...


6 posted on 09/13/2009 11:01:08 AM PDT by Paul46360
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To: Logical me

“Let Them Eat Cake” has already been used.


7 posted on 09/13/2009 11:02:12 AM PDT by Paul46360
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To: John Semmens; shibumi

My attorney, Heywood Jablome, Esq. says to refuse this offer.


8 posted on 09/13/2009 11:02:27 AM PDT by Salamander (Like acid and oil on a madman's face, reason tends to fly away.........)
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To: John Semmens

Looks like the free lunches for all game is about on it’s last legs. This is what you call a shuck and jive act.


9 posted on 09/13/2009 11:06:11 AM PDT by Tarpon (The Joker's plan -- Slavery by debt so large it can never be repaid...)
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To: John Semmens

Everyone? Does this refer to every Democrat leader in Congress?


10 posted on 09/13/2009 11:08:52 AM PDT by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. (Modified DeCartes))
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To: John Semmens

LOL........great!


11 posted on 09/13/2009 11:10:59 AM PDT by tioga ("You lie!" Joe Wilson 9-9-09)
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To: John Semmens

I don’t believe it. The lyin sack-of-.... just said that a ‘PANEL OF EXPERTS’ will decide who treats who. Hey Obummer, I thought you said there wouldn’t be any panels deciding patient care. I don’t need some anonymous group of people deciding my health choices. I pay the f...ing bill for my health coverage, so I damn well expect to be the one who picks the f...ing doctor.


12 posted on 09/13/2009 11:24:34 AM PDT by LoneStarGI (Vegetarian: Old Indian word for "BAD HUNTER.")
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To: LoneStarGI; All

HEY YOU ALL. IT’S SATIRE!

(even though it is very difficult to tell any more).


13 posted on 09/13/2009 11:41:59 AM PDT by UCANSEE2 (Where's this tagline thing everyone keeps talking about?)
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To: John Semmens

Did the scumbag worthless dirtbag communist say something????


14 posted on 09/13/2009 11:42:12 AM PDT by oust the louse (This Country now has a smelly BO problem.....)
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To: John Semmens
Everyone but Obamessiah, congress, the senate and union rank and file THUGS will benifit, the rest of us will DIE!

Obama is a LIAR... period.

15 posted on 09/13/2009 12:28:00 PM PDT by Jmouse007 (Thank you)
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To: Paul46360

Try.. Let them eat Cheeto’s.


16 posted on 09/13/2009 4:20:24 PM PDT by TASMANIANRED (TAZ:Untamed, Unpredictable, Uninhibited.)
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To: John Semmens; All

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17 posted on 09/13/2009 5:32:22 PM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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