Posted on 08/24/2009 12:23:07 PM PDT by Notoriously Conservative
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a day.”
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is “embalming.”
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.
(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
Read more at NotoriouslyConservative.com
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Whyisa, that's almost funny, but may be very close to the truth.
And this was on Letterman? (kidding)
You are feeling run down and the Government gives you a 50 cent off coupon for a one-night stay at Holiday Inn Express.
have a laugh ping
Thanks bitt, I enjoyed those, lol.
I think I am looking for a new doctor!
My wife’s a nurse, and almost everybody she works with is scared to death.
Thanks for the chuckle!
Actually I read that one as you're given a toe tag, a pill, told to take the pill and LIE down on the slab!
14. You’re told you need to have immediate surgery to save your life. Your surgery is scheduled for Feb. 2 2112.
Excellent! Obamacare is becoming a national joke. Kind of a reverse Alinsky.
collected for e-mail forwarding:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a day.”
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is “embalming.”
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.
(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
MORE SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE USING OBAMACARE:
The defibrillator consists of a toaster and a fork.
You get a pain in your side and they mail you an Obama do it yourself Appendectomy kit.
You’re handed a toe tag and asked to have a seat on the slab.
The abortions are free but the waiting list is 10 months long.
To save the environment, condoms will now be replaced by wallet sized photos of Helen Thomas or Michele Obama.
Your doctor’s stethescope reads “Fisher-Price”
Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure,”
Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,”
Exam room has a tip jar.
You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
“Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?”
Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.
“Take two leeches and call me in the morning,”
The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.
Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow’s doorstep.
Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their Pocket.
Pre-natal vitamin prescription is a box of Tic-Tacs.
Chief Surgeon graduated from University of Benihana.
Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.
Only participating Physicians are Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine.
Plan covers only “group” gynecological exams.
Preprinted prescription pads that say “Walk it off, you sissy.”
To avoid a time consuming and expensive throat culture, the doctor just French kisses you.
Recycled bandages.
You can get your flu shot as soon as “the” hypodermic needle is dry.
24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK
Costly MRI equipment efficiently replaced by an oversized 2-sided copier.
Enema? The lavatory faucet swivels to face upward.
The only doctor on the list as allowed by your HMO is Dr. Jack Kevorkian.
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