Funny: Top 10 Signs You Are Using Obamacare

notoriouslyconservative.com ^ | 08 24 09 | Notoriously Conservative

[Notoriously Conservative]

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a day.”

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is “embalming.”

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

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[Natural Law]

11) The defibrillator consist of a toaster and a fork.

[Grunthor]

“(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.”

HA!

[trumandogz]

11. You are on Medicaid, Medicare and or Medicare Part B

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Great list!

You call for an appointment and the first open date is 14 months away.

[screaminsunshine]

You get a pain in your side and they mail you an Obama do it yourself Appendectomy kit.

[RebelTex]

LOL - deserving of a humor ping.

Pinging my humor ping list - freepmail me if you want on or off this list.
(This is usually a low volume ping, as I don’t search for humor threads, but I do ping when I find something really funny.)

[Talisker]

11) The defibrillator consist of a toaster and a fork.

ROFL!

[dragonblustar]

[albie]

12- You’re handed a toe tag and asked to have a seat on the slab.

[death2tyrants]

11.)You’d like to save a copy of the Obama Health Care bill to your hard drive, but you can’t because your hard drive only has 20 GB of free space left.

[NTHockey]

12. No one will be treated without an original Birth Certificate.

[aetheraddict]

You should get Dave Letterman to do this on his show.....ha!

[Slings and Arrows]

13. The abortions are free but the waiting list is 10 months long.

[Stolen from P. J. O’Rourke.]

[dragonblustar]

To save the environment, condoms will now be replaced by wallet sized photos of Helen Thomas or Michele Obama.

[Zeppelin]

Your doctor’s stethescope reads “Fisher-Price”

[Political Junkie Too]

Band-Aids now come in convenient rolls of various sizes and skin tones.

-PJ

[murron]

I love this one!!

[Lady Jag]

1. Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
2. Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure,”
3. Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,”
4. Exam room has a tip jar.
4. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
6. “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?”
7. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.
8. “Take two leeches and call me in the morning,”
9. The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.
10. Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow’s doorstep.
11. Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their Pocket.
12.”Pre-natal vitamin” prescription is a box of Tic-Tacs.
13. Chief Surgeon graduated from University of Benihana.
14. Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.
15. Only participating Physicians are Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine.
16. Only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
17. Plan covers only “group” gynecological exams.
18. Preprinted prescription pads that say “Walk it off, you sissy.”
19. To avoid a time consuming and expensive throat culture, the doctor just French kisses you.
20. Recycled bandages.
21. You can get your flu shot as soon as “the” hypodermic needle is dry.
22. Your “primary care physician” is wearing the pants you gave to
goodwill last month.
23. 24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK
24. Costly MRI equipment efficiently replaced by an oversized 2-sided
copier.
25. Enema? The lavatory faucet swivels to face upward.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

The only doctor on the list as allowed by your HMO is Dr. Jack Kevorkian.