DUmmie FUnnies 08-10-08 (DUmmies Ashamed of US Winning in the Olympics)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | 8/10/2008 | 28erl, DUmmies, and Paul Heinzman

[Paul Heinzman]

The summer games are underway in Beijing after no small amount of debate over whether the United States should participate due to China's human rights violations. That debate is over now, but controversy continues. Foreign journalists have gotten a first-hand taste of China's Internet restrictions, one American tourist was murdered and another injured by a Chinese madman who then killed himself, and three Americans protesting religious oppression have been detained and then ejected from the country.

However, for some DUmmies, the real controversy is how doggone good the United States is at winning medals, as you will see in this DUmmie THREAD titled "olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many."

So let's take a break from counting Michael Phelps's gold medals to watch the DUmmies lament America's awesomeness in Bolshevik red with the comments of your humble guest narrator, Paul Heinzman, in the [brackets].

olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many

[It's right up there with misspelling embarrassing.]

we walk in with a 'crowd' and then seem surprised to get so many - it would be nice if some of the other 240 counties that are smaller got some - it always seems like a gang shows up when we walk in and then so many have to say USA USA - I mean - I just find it like the 'gang' is here and we are taking over - what are your thoughts? I know republics like the gangs and bullies to take over everything so they like being king of the mountain all the time - I just feel like others should get a turn more often

[Every game should end in a tie. That way, everybody wins.]

I know I got sick of winning all of mine that's for sure.

[Olympic pizza eating?]

no. i like winning. and i like winning in olypmics. sorry.

[Even if it makes everyone else feel bad?]

...and this is why I always supported the idea of sending ONLY collegiate competitors from the U.S. to participate. We try to turn it into a celebration of U.S. dominance in the world and we are rightly resented for it. I find it hard to root for the U.S. in any olympic competition.

[May we question your patriotism now?]

Yes, the Olympics should be a celebration...   
...a celebration of good clean spirited international competition and camaraderie. Not an effort on the part of the U.S. to take advantage of its relative size and dominance in so many sports to carry off a gargantuan medal haul every four years. This could be achieved by sending collegiate athletes instead of professionals.

[We'd still win more than anyone.]

What professionals do we send besides Basketball and if you haven't noticed the NBA has been globalized with players from all over world who are playing for their home countrys. Not to mention that Basketball is just one metal. What other sports do we have pros in? Football, nope. Baseball, nope. Guess what, that it. Those are the pro sports. Take your head out of your ass.

[You win the gold medal Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

What part of "collegiate athletes" do you not understand, Sidney?
 
[Since Sidney is probably a professional college student, my money's on the "athlete" part.]

And what kind of belligerent jackass gets worked up over a topic like this?

[Just about any DUmmie.]

The American empire is dying in case you hadn't noticed, genius. Don't guess that matters though -- as long as we can stomp Panama in thumb wrestling and pull down the gold. USA NUMBER ONE!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

[It's "USA! USA! USA!"]

The young pros in the soccer tournament are often far better than the young men we can send, for example.

[Imagine the outcry when the United States finally wins a World Cup.]

I guess that is the part I feel - it isn't just a competition of athletes but the attitude of dominance - I do root for the people and yes I like to see how someone acts when they win - some are more gracious than others - I am not saying we should run slower, etc as someone else mentioned but we seem to have the funds to send more - some of these countries have good athletes but not the training facilities or opportunities - doing their best is nice - but it is that American arrogance - I remember when I traveled in europe I stayed away from some Americans because it was embarrassing the way they acted - that holier than thou stuff - I find that same thing with republics - they act like they are holy and great and yet so many are in the closet or infidelity but you would think the dems were the only ones when in actuality - those most against something are usually guilty -

[If there were a writing competition in the Twit Olympics, you'd take the gold.]

In 1980 we won zero

[Not in the Summer, but in the winter there was one that ended in the chant "USA! USA! USA!" that was particularly displeasing to Will Pitt.]

Jimmy Carter made them wear sweaters to save energy and they were slowed down by it!

[BLASPHEMER!]

I don't know why any American whould be surprised - it's a big sports-obsessed country that gives out university scholarships just for being good at a sport.

[Yes, these kids who bring millions of dollars in revenue to universities should get nothing and like it.]

That is literally the stupidest f*cking thing I've read all day, and there are about 600 Edwards threads competing for that title.

[That's saying a lot considering this is DU.]

This isn't the Kumbayalympics.

[It's the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Hell, let's get rid of the contest and everyone can get a gold medal!

[Everybody gets a medal!]

But what would we call it?
Special Olympics is already taken....

[We'll call it the Oprahlympics.]

If there was ever a post that validates the RW stereotype of liberals, this is it

[And we have noticed.]

Is there any representation of this country which doesn't embarrass you?

[Just Democratic Underground.]

[dirtbiker]

Sorry, bcsco. I should have read this thing with my glasses ON!

I'll do better next time :)

[Mr. Silverback]

Come back in the morning and read the exchange between me and bcso again when you’ve had some sleep. You’ll get the joke then.

[Purrcival]

D’OH! OK, I get what you’re saying now. A little slow on the uptake here.

And my self-esteem has taken *sob* yet another hit! ;-)

[Purrcival]

As of tonight, after that spectacular finish in the men’s 4x100 relay, Michael Phelps is one more gold medal closer to taking the title of “Most Embarrassing American” away from Mark Spitz!

Did you guys SEE THAT???? USA! USA! USA! US....umm....sorry...a little attack of national pride...I’m so ashamed. *sniff*

[GeorgiaDawg32]

the U.S. beating Russia wasn’t for the gold. They beat Finland for the Gold Medal, Russia was the step before that..but yea, “Take that ya commie basta*ds” was way cool..:)

http://proicehockey.about.com/cs/miracleonice/a/miracle_legacy.htm

[dirtbiker]

Yes, but our female gymnasts didn't end up shaving in their twenties. ;-)

I know you meant by "shaving in their twenties" was in reference to having to shave places most females don't have to shave, should said females live in a culture that advocates shaving (ie, NOT France).

Anyway, Joe Piscopo did one funny Miller Lite commercial on TV years ago about when he was "member of the East German Womens Swim Team", with him and a bunch of hairy, bearded guys in dresses making passes at the bartender....

[dirtbiker]

Come back in the morning and read the exchange between me and bcso again when you’ve had some sleep. You’ll get the joke then.

I'm back, just finished reading the exchange.

I get it now : )....

[bcsco]

A cousin had a “C” class sailboat when we lived in Twin Lakes, WI. I used it a lot. It had a daggerboard. That’s how I know about them.

[bcsco]

Can't figure out what a part of a sailboat has to do with a DUmmie's posts....

Innuendo. Innuendo!

[franksolich]

DUmmie ALERT!

DUmmie ALERT!



PAL OF KANSAS PRIMITIVE GETS ARRESTED!

TRYING TO VOTE!

KANSAS PRIMITIVE ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE!

TELLS THE TALE TO THE PRIMITIVES!



THE PRIMITIVES ON SKINS'S ISLAND!

GIVE DETAILS!

BUT DOESN'T TELL HALF THE STORY!

DOESN'T TELL EVEN A THIRD OF THE STORY!

PRIMITIVES KEPT IN DARKNESS!

BY OMISSIONS OF THE KANSAS PRIMITIVE!

WHOLE STORY, ALL THE DETAILS, UNCOVERED!



KANSAS PRIMITIVE MAKES A POSTERIOR OF HERSELF!

NOT TELLING THE WHOLE TALE!

link on next comment; there's a longer thread at the same site about this issue, but this one is the newest one

[franksolich]

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,11309.0.html

[Mr. Silverback]

Somebody’s endo is another thing you shouldn’t be bringing up on this board.

[bcsco]

Somebody’s endo is another thing you shouldn’t be bringing up on this board.

I didn't know you spoke French... :)

[bcsco]

I didn't know you spoke French... :)

[From my post to Mr. Silverback]

Speaking of which, anything about the USA win over the French last night on the DU? They must be in an apoplectic rage about that.

[Purrcival]

Well, some over at the DUmp are actually happy about it:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3774427

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3774062

They’re more interested in focusing attention on the so-called “War Criminal” being at the Games, including talking about a tabloid’s (The Globe) article about a supposed split between President and Mrs. Bush, so that the way is supposedly clear between Bush and Condi. And, oh yeah, he’s supposedly “drunk” again:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3768661

[bcsco]

Aw, gee. These DUmmies will pick up on anything anyone says that’s remotely critical and fly with it. What a sorry life.

[al_c]

Haven’t the DUmmies noticed that China has won more medals than the US? And 3X as many golds?

[PJ-Comix]

Hey everybody! You won't believe who I just ran into just a few minutes ago. Crazy Adam from MTV's "The Paper." You might remember I posted a trailer here about that "reality" show.

I'm at the library and Adam was out front plugging for a judge who is running for election (they have early voting here). The FUnnie thing is that I didn't recognize him at first until he started talking. Distinctive voice. I talked with him for a few minutes. He was the NUtcase who lied down on a cart of newspapers and made like a bumblebee (or bird) as they pushed him.

[Choose Ye This Day]

I’ve never heard of him. But I haven’t watched MTV since 1989. I don’t believe they’ve had “M” since then.

Off-topic, and apropos of nothing, Allah got busted for drug possession this weekend:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2059934/posts

[bcsco]

I’m like Choose Ye This Day except that I haven’t watched MTV since 1943. You’re out of my window on this one... :)