DUmmie FUnnies 08-10-08 (DUmmies Ashamed of US Winning in the Olympics)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | 8/10/2008 | 28erl, DUmmies, and Paul Heinzman

[Paul Heinzman]

The summer games are underway in Beijing after no small amount of debate over whether the United States should participate due to China's human rights violations. That debate is over now, but controversy continues. Foreign journalists have gotten a first-hand taste of China's Internet restrictions, one American tourist was murdered and another injured by a Chinese madman who then killed himself, and three Americans protesting religious oppression have been detained and then ejected from the country.

However, for some DUmmies, the real controversy is how doggone good the United States is at winning medals, as you will see in this DUmmie THREAD titled "olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many."

So let's take a break from counting Michael Phelps's gold medals to watch the DUmmies lament America's awesomeness in Bolshevik red with the comments of your humble guest narrator, Paul Heinzman, in the [brackets].

olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many

[It's right up there with misspelling embarrassing.]

we walk in with a 'crowd' and then seem surprised to get so many - it would be nice if some of the other 240 counties that are smaller got some - it always seems like a gang shows up when we walk in and then so many have to say USA USA - I mean - I just find it like the 'gang' is here and we are taking over - what are your thoughts? I know republics like the gangs and bullies to take over everything so they like being king of the mountain all the time - I just feel like others should get a turn more often

[Every game should end in a tie. That way, everybody wins.]

I know I got sick of winning all of mine that's for sure.

[Olympic pizza eating?]

no. i like winning. and i like winning in olypmics. sorry.

[Even if it makes everyone else feel bad?]

...and this is why I always supported the idea of sending ONLY collegiate competitors from the U.S. to participate. We try to turn it into a celebration of U.S. dominance in the world and we are rightly resented for it. I find it hard to root for the U.S. in any olympic competition.

[May we question your patriotism now?]

Yes, the Olympics should be a celebration...   
...a celebration of good clean spirited international competition and camaraderie. Not an effort on the part of the U.S. to take advantage of its relative size and dominance in so many sports to carry off a gargantuan medal haul every four years. This could be achieved by sending collegiate athletes instead of professionals.

[We'd still win more than anyone.]

What professionals do we send besides Basketball and if you haven't noticed the NBA has been globalized with players from all over world who are playing for their home countrys. Not to mention that Basketball is just one metal. What other sports do we have pros in? Football, nope. Baseball, nope. Guess what, that it. Those are the pro sports. Take your head out of your ass.

[You win the gold medal Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

What part of "collegiate athletes" do you not understand, Sidney?
 
[Since Sidney is probably a professional college student, my money's on the "athlete" part.]

And what kind of belligerent jackass gets worked up over a topic like this?

[Just about any DUmmie.]

The American empire is dying in case you hadn't noticed, genius. Don't guess that matters though -- as long as we can stomp Panama in thumb wrestling and pull down the gold. USA NUMBER ONE!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

[It's "USA! USA! USA!"]

The young pros in the soccer tournament are often far better than the young men we can send, for example.

[Imagine the outcry when the United States finally wins a World Cup.]

I guess that is the part I feel - it isn't just a competition of athletes but the attitude of dominance - I do root for the people and yes I like to see how someone acts when they win - some are more gracious than others - I am not saying we should run slower, etc as someone else mentioned but we seem to have the funds to send more - some of these countries have good athletes but not the training facilities or opportunities - doing their best is nice - but it is that American arrogance - I remember when I traveled in europe I stayed away from some Americans because it was embarrassing the way they acted - that holier than thou stuff - I find that same thing with republics - they act like they are holy and great and yet so many are in the closet or infidelity but you would think the dems were the only ones when in actuality - those most against something are usually guilty -

[If there were a writing competition in the Twit Olympics, you'd take the gold.]

In 1980 we won zero

[Not in the Summer, but in the winter there was one that ended in the chant "USA! USA! USA!" that was particularly displeasing to Will Pitt.]

Jimmy Carter made them wear sweaters to save energy and they were slowed down by it!

[BLASPHEMER!]

I don't know why any American whould be surprised - it's a big sports-obsessed country that gives out university scholarships just for being good at a sport.

[Yes, these kids who bring millions of dollars in revenue to universities should get nothing and like it.]

That is literally the stupidest f*cking thing I've read all day, and there are about 600 Edwards threads competing for that title.

[That's saying a lot considering this is DU.]

This isn't the Kumbayalympics.

[It's the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Hell, let's get rid of the contest and everyone can get a gold medal!

[Everybody gets a medal!]

But what would we call it?
Special Olympics is already taken....

[We'll call it the Oprahlympics.]

If there was ever a post that validates the RW stereotype of liberals, this is it

[And we have noticed.]

Is there any representation of this country which doesn't embarrass you?

[Just Democratic Underground.]

[Mr. Silverback]

Some of those East German track chicks could have won Men’s shotput!

[Mr. Silverback]

Phelps wears size 14 shoes. You know what they say about guys with big feet.

Their sneakers stink a lot more. :-)

[Roscoe Karns]

[Allegra]

If I were in that competition, I'd be the one walking the bike. ;-)

I'd be the one crying and thumbing a ride. ;-)

Women's breaststroke now...

[Allegra]

Phelps wears size 14 shoes. You know what they say about guys with big feet.

Their sneakers stink a lot more. :-)

ROFL!!

Ahem! I have big feet...size 9...and I was a competitive swimmer...

[mikrofon]

Not to mention that Basketball is just one metal

Maybe making Americans play with a metal basketball will even the odds?

[Allegra]

Oh, no...their socks are going to be ruined.

Their socks will have to be retired.

[Allegra]

I hate cycling in any kind of inclement weather. I need something with disc brakes.

Do you compete? If so, hats off to you. That's got to be hard.

[Mr. Silverback]

Michael Phelps is ready to take the “Most Embarassing American” title away from him.

[Mr. Silverback]

Glad I could give you a laugh, FRiend.

I admire your competitiveness. Unless you count a disastrous youth soccer season, I’ve never been in organized competitive sports. I do regret not going out for track or cross country in high school, though. One of my gym teachers was certain I’d go to state if I joined the cross country team.

[dead]

Water Polo...Pthbbbttt... How boring

Obviously you have never played the sport. It is the most physically demanding team sport in the Olympics. Don’t think so? Knew you wouldn’t!

It's physically demanding on the viewer too. After the first three minutes, I had to change the channel before I fell asleep.

It's takes a tough sport to make both the participants and viewers equally exhausted.

[MEG33]

Only Dummies could be this DUMB.

[MEG33]

I hope so!

[bcsco]

Guess I should have been more careful using the term “hard power.”

We're getting into the realm of daggerboards here. We'd best leave this one alone...

[X-FID]

Yeah, hockey in 1980 was particularly nice when we beat the Soviets.

I used to watch the Soviet team for years before that and they were a pretty good professional team, the Czechoslavakian team appeared to be professional too.

I remember when the NHL All stars played the Soviet team, was fun stuff, exposed them for the pros they really were.

[Paul Heinzman]

Maybe making Americans play with a metal basketball will even the odds?

Holy cow, my PE teachers would freak if you stepped on the floor with street shoes; they'd crap Dixie cups if they saw a metal basketball.

[Roscoe Karns]

Hope so! I’ll be watching.

[doorgunner69]

Bike wipeouts aren’t cool or fun.

Yep. Until you try and recover from a serious case of road rash, you don't appreciate just how nasty a fall on a bike can be. Pavement is hard and unforgiving, and the pros are moving very fast when they hit.

[SaveTheChief]

Liberal guilt has never been so amusing!

[MEG33]

I’m watching..Love the swimming..Just broke the men’s record in 4X100