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DUmmie FUnnies 09-07-05 ("I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 7, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/07/2005 3:37:18 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

I bet some of you have occasionally tried to describe the level of insanity of the DUmmies to your skeptical friends. Perhaps they can't believe that anybody could be as nutty as you describe. If so, then perhaps you should refer them to this DUmmie THREAD titled, "I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why." As you will see, the level of DUmmie HATRED of George Bush has gone even beyond psychopathic levels. In fact the author of this particular thread, DUmmie DistressedAmerican, needs to not only consult with a shrink, but needs to be paid a little visit from the Secret Service. As usual, the psychopathic DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, mopping rabid DUmmie foam off the floor, is in the [brackets]:

I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why.

[WARNING! PATHETIC PSYCHOPATHIC RANT TO FOLLOW!]

Bush still breathes.
Bush still stands.
Bush still walks.
Bush still has power.
Bush is still rich.
Bush's parents also still doing all of the above.
IN SHORT:
Bush has not been SMOTE!
Any God worth his salt would have killed the bastard and his entire evil family years ago. I think a bolt of lightening would do the job quite nicely.
OK, Maybe I am wrong. Maybe He does exist but fears we will invade heaven of he rids us of this evil, sociopath! If this is indeed the case:
God, Now is your time. They still haven't the resources to come after you. Strike him down! Show me some of that old shool (testament) WRATH!

[If you think the rage of DUmmie DistressedAmerican is beyond belief now, imagine how it will be when he finds himself screaming this stuff at the prison walls. He is flat out calling for the murder of the President. A federal crime.]

Well, He works in mysterious ways, you know.... Maybe the smiting is just around the corner.

[DUmmie Ron_Green in a hopeful mood.]

I believe the disaster was proof enough Either God is a useless observer like all of us, incompetent and without any power to stop horrible things from happening, or he/she is an asshole that allows or causes these horrible things to happen for his/her own reason and we are meant to suffer for them ignorant of why.I really don't know how else to think of it. I'm sure many will be upset with these thoughts but really truly, without saying any "He works in mysterious ways" nonsense how can you say that there is some deity in charge worthy of love and worship? God is love? Well god let people die all over the South. No prayers were answered by the people who begged for mercy and continue to beg.

[A DUmmie "theologian" weighs in.]

Here's how I knew - Crimson Tide. I knew there was no 'God' (as taught to me by our culture, anyway) when I realized that a merciful, intelligent-designing, loving, all-powerful, supremely perfect deity would not have designed women to bleed for 7 days a month in order to be fertile. WTF is THAT about?!Doesn't sound like intelligent design to me.I can't wait until it is scientifically eradicated. I suspect this has been possible for decades, but, for some reason, our little birth control packets still mercifully allow 7 blank days so our Aunt from Alabama can come to visit.If this god was so intelligent, we would just have an egg sit there until it got fertilized, not be shed every month. Nevermind the whole concept. Until I realized how you got pregnant, I thought women just *decided* when they would have a baby, and that was all that was necessary. Understandably, I have been a little miffed at 'nature' since.

[I have to give this DUmmie atheist credit for creativity. First time I ever heard of someone becoming an atheist because of menstruation.]

If God wants all the credit and adoration. Then he can bloody well pitch in like the rest of us. When the least of us -- the poor, the elderly, the babies -- have to pay with their lives for the failure of government or someone else's sins, that's just mindlessly cruel. If there are consequences then perhaps its time for those in charge to start paying them.

[So who do you blame for Hurricane Katrina. God or Bush? Probably both.]

Bush is the entire reason that I don't believe in Karma

[Because you always end up as the DUmmie Coyote as the Bush RoadRunner leaves you in his dust. BEEP! BEEP!]

Tell God I Have Been Workig My Ass Off To Rid Us Of This Guy. Time for Him to help me. I'm helping myself.Where is my backup?

[Windsurfing off Nantucket.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: antichristian; atheism; atheists; bushhaters; callawaaambulance; dummies; god; neworleansblame; religion; religiousintolerance; waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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To: LUV W; PJ-Comix

"Poor PJ! You need a (((hug))) just for having to go to the library computer room in the first place, much less have to listen to some hugh maroon tell everyone in the room how important he is just because he has a cell phone! LOL!"

Ditto that. That infraction was very series.


21 posted on 09/07/2005 3:55:29 PM PDT by Purrcival (Ray Nagin, you are NO Rudy Giuliani!)
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To: SaveTheChief

These people never knew Him to begin with.


22 posted on 09/07/2005 3:55:44 PM PDT by pigsmith
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To: PJ-Comix

Just when I was getting tired of the DUmmies, you come up with a sidesplitter!


23 posted on 09/07/2005 3:56:26 PM PDT by littleleaguemom
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To: cripplecreek

I love this. Where did you get it?


24 posted on 09/07/2005 3:56:56 PM PDT by littleleaguemom
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To: SaveTheChief

Actually, people like this will actively LOOK for reasons to deny God. It's the only way they can squelch the Holy Spirit's voice, trying to woo them.


25 posted on 09/07/2005 3:57:17 PM PDT by Purrcival (Ray Nagin, you are NO Rudy Giuliani!)
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To: LUV W
If it were up to me, libraries all around the country would have a special program to deal with folks who talk on their cellphones in the computer rooms. Every time someone uses his/her cellphone in a computer room, the librarian would just look to see which computer the person is using. Then the librarian would flick a switch from the desk relating to that computer number which would flash the following large text message in red on that screen:

HEY ASSHOLE! NO USING THE CELLPHONE IN THE COMPUTER ROOM!!!

The message would flash for just a couple of seconds. Then if the violator complains to the librarian, the librarian would profess innocence about it thus making the violator think that maybe he was just seeing things. However, I don't think that person would go back to using his cellphone again.

26 posted on 09/07/2005 3:58:09 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: littleleaguemom

I found a whole page of them.

http://www.redbrick.dcu.ie/~pariah/photos/farside/thumbnails/


27 posted on 09/07/2005 3:58:35 PM PDT by cripplecreek (If you must obey your party, may your chains rest lightly upon your shoulders.)
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To: PJ-Comix
so our Aunt from Alabama can come to visit

Um.... okay.

28 posted on 09/07/2005 4:04:14 PM PDT by Not A Snowbird (Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
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To: PJ-Comix

I can no longer think of any nutwad imagery that explains the unexplainable nutwadary of DU.

I just want to be informed when the feds shut DU down, or when there is a rash of head explosions, migration or suicides. Please ping me, I have a good bottle of wine waiting.


29 posted on 09/07/2005 4:09:45 PM PDT by alarm rider (Irritating leftists as often as is humanly possible....)
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To: PJ-Comix
I KNOW That There Is No God! Here's Why. Bush still breathes. Bush still stands. Bush still walks. Bush still has power. Bush is still rich. Bush's parents also still doing all of the above. IN SHORT: Bush has not been SMOTE!

"He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. And Moses said, 'I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned.'"
--Exodus 3:2-3

30 posted on 09/07/2005 4:11:44 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Stay outta da Bushes!)
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To: PJ-Comix
OK, Maybe I am wrong.

Go with that thought.

31 posted on 09/07/2005 4:14:14 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Stay outta da Bushes!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I knew there was no 'God' (as taught to me by our culture, anyway) when I realized that a merciful, intelligent-designing, loving, all-powerful, supremely perfect deity would not have designed women to bleed for 7 days a month in order to be fertile.

Kind of missed that whole expulsion from Eden, penalty for original sin concept mentioned in Genesis, didn't he/she/it?

32 posted on 09/07/2005 4:14:34 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude Adjustments Offered Here Free of Charge)
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To: PJ-Comix

The DUmmies don't realize god is too busy smiting them every election.


33 posted on 09/07/2005 4:14:47 PM PDT by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Heavens...keep missing the early call.

Well, top 40 and now up to read.

34 posted on 09/07/2005 4:14:59 PM PDT by Amityschild (I may be gullible BUT I'm not a DUmmie!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

ROTFL!


35 posted on 09/07/2005 4:17:00 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude Adjustments Offered Here Free of Charge)
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To: PJ-Comix

That is a lovely dream, but it'll probably never happen. You're just gonna have to get that new computer you've been wanting!


36 posted on 09/07/2005 4:17:49 PM PDT by luvie (Thank God that George W. Bush is President during this horrible Hurricane crisis!)
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To: Purrcival

Veeerrrrry series!!


37 posted on 09/07/2005 4:18:40 PM PDT by luvie (Thank God that George W. Bush is President during this horrible Hurricane crisis!)
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To: littleleaguemom; cripplecreek

Looks like an old "Farside" cartoon. Those were a hoot! Too bad the cartoonist (Gary Larson?) stopped doing them.


38 posted on 09/07/2005 4:20:56 PM PDT by Purrcival (Ray Nagin, you are NO Rudy Giuliani!)
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To: SaveTheChief

Sadly, people like this often say they do not believe in God because they might have prayed once or twice and did not immediately get what they wanted right away. They were looking for Santa Claus, not God. I have tried to think like them in order understand sometimes. I can't. I cannot deny that I know there is a God out there.


39 posted on 09/07/2005 4:21:00 PM PDT by HungarianGypsy ("If you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans.")
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To: PJ-Comix
Any God worth his salt would have killed the bastard and his entire evil family years ago.

Here's a thought: Maybe President Bush is God's instrument of wrath on Saddam Hussein's family.

And maybe Katrina was a fire-and-brimstone moment for the Sodom of the South (aka New Orleans), which, e.g., just held a Decadence Parade, celebrating depravity.

Not saying they were. It's a bit too inscrutable for me--and I'm a professional theologian.

40 posted on 09/07/2005 4:21:18 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Lutheran pastor and Ph.D. student in Biblical studies)
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