Posted on 08/01/2005 5:38:24 PM PDT by writer33
Washington—In a stunning twist of events, key Democrats have vowed to break the will of Supreme Court nominee John Roberts. After an eight hour meeting behind closed doors—consisting of Democratic senators Ted Kennedy, Dick Durbin, Patrick Leahy, Barbara Boxer and John Kerry—the senators emerged ready to pounce on Roberts.
“This nominee is beyond the pale,” said Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA, as he stepped to the podium. “Bush thinks he’s laid down the law, but he hasn’t seen nothing yet. We’re gonna break the man’s will. Make him wish he was never born. Hurt him, emasculate him and keep him from accepting a nomination to any federal court in this land ever again! By the time we’re through, Justice Bork’s nomination will have been mild by comparison.”
If Roberts is confirmed, he would be the fourth Roman Catholic on the nine-member court, a proportion that might seem inordinately high, except that he also would be only the 10th Catholic in the court’s 215-year history, making Catholics a bad choice for the Supreme Court and leaving the country to wonder if Bush isn’t trying to create a theocracy.
“Politicians can often be blamed for playing the race card,” noted Sen. John Kerry, D-MA. “But Mr. Bush is playing the religion card and we’re not going to stand for it. If Roberts refuses to answer any questions regarding his position on abortion, I’m going to get out of my chair and slap him. We’re not playing around! This isn’t a game Bush!”
The 1973 Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision gave American women the right to an abortion in the first trimester of pregnancy, and regulated the procedure during the second trimester “in ways that are reasonably related to maternal health.” In the third trimester, a state can choose to proscribe abortion “for the preservation of the life or health of the mother.” 61 percent of respondents say Roberts should publicly state his position on abortion, but only 43 percent think the senators would be justified in voting against the nominee if he refuses to address the issue.
Protesters from both sides of the abortion debate faced off outside a Northwest D.C. Planned Parenthood clinic with competing messages for Capitol Hill. Some 60 demonstrators carried signs and chanted slogans meant for Congress as it prepares for Judge John Roberts’ Supreme Court confirmation hearings in the fall. Roberts has not publicly stated his views on abortion, but has previously called for overturning Roe-versus-Wade, the Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion.
“America won’t go back to the days before Roe-vs-Wade,” shouted Michele Bolinger, abortion-rights activist. “We can’t afford to send women back to less than sterile environments filled with dirty clothes hangers. This nominee is an outrage!”
“I’m with Rush Limbaugh on this matter,” commented Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-CA. “If Roberts would actually perform an abortion right there during questioning, I might overlook the fact that he’s a bigoted Catholic. Everyone knows you can’t trust Catholics.”
“Catholics scare me,” said Sen. Dick Durbin, D-IL. “They’re a bunch of anti-abortion, icky bead wearing, idol-worshipping people. I wouldn’t trust them as far as I could bowl them. So bring on Roberts. I’m ready to send him packing back where he came from.”
“There are already three token Catholics on the court,” whined Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-VT. “Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas are both Catholics and look at what a disaster they’ve been. Scalia’s son is even a priest for God’s sake! I haven’t a clue as to how he got on the court to begin with. It’s got to stop now, and believe me, we’re going to do our level best against Bush’s ignorant nomination. Of course I might overlook things if Roberts turns out to be an Anthony Kennedy Catholic, or even Islamic. That would make me and the country feel so much better.”
It is said that Roberts has not spoken publicly since being tapped by Bush but has been meeting individually with senators on Capitol Hill. White House spokesman Scott McClellan said this week he did not know whether the nominee was being asked about how his faith might affect his work on the court.
Shannen Coffin, a Catholic friend of Roberts and a former deputy assistant attorney general in the Bush administration, predicted Roberts would “separate personal philosophy from legal philosophy. Being Catholic, I don’t think, affects him any more than if he’s Hindu.”
Democratic senators, however, know better. To allow another conservative Catholic on the court would be like inviting Dr. Jack Kevorkian over for dinner. So, the country takes a deep breath and waits for the battle royale in Washington, assuring continued liberal dominance in the federal court systems.
:-)
BTTT!!!!!
crap IS garbage, ain't it?
OMG.....You know I could believe she'd say that.
BTTT
Idol-worshipping ~ Bump!
When have the demoncRATS stopped their vicious, unwarranted attacks on Bush Admin and its reps? So their attacks, thank you RINO 7, aren't anything new. Just more political rhetoric to make the public think that the demoncRATS are good guys (spit, barf on those last sentence).
Thanks for the bump, E.G.C.
Thanks for the bump, for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it, JWFB. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for the bump, blackie.
Thanks for reading, lily. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Far out! :)
Great work Chris. Esp. the Boxer bit!
Soooo, you musta been a fly on the wall during that meeting to gleen all this info.
I gotta believe this is exactly what those dim-wits are thinking.
Great article - you've put a smile on my face. :)
Thanks for reading Lexinom and for the nice comments. I appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading, DD. I appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Break ~ Bump!
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