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Muslim Student Flushes Geometry Book Down Toilet
Counterjab ^ | 06/02/2005 | Chris Davis

Posted on 06/02/2005 5:15:51 PM PDT by writer33

Los Angeles—Kareem Abdul-Jamar, a Muslim geometry student at Four Square High School in Los Angeles, California, has flushed his geometry textbook down a toilet in protest of the flushing of the Koran. Above the toilet on the wall, Kareem scribbled “The infidels and their geometry books must die!”

“This is to show those American pigs that we won’t just stand by and take their abuse,” shouted Kareem as he danced around the toilet. “If they’re allowed to flush the Koran, then I’m allowed to flush my geometry textbook. I don’t care what they say. There’s no practical use for geometry anyway.”

The flushing of the book could not be verified by teachers, the principal or any of the thousands of students at Four Square High School. However, Shirley Jones, Four Square High School’s Principal, said the accusations have not been investigated yet because of the lack of credibility, but that a wide-ranging review of interrogations on conservative students were underway at the high school.

“We’re going to get to the bottom of this,” Shirley firmly stated. “Everyone knows you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole. We’ll just blame some of our fascist, conservative parents. As for Kareem’s punishment, we gave him a good talking too, warning him that if he flushed another textbook, he would pay for it and get expelled.”

The geometric dilemma has sparked controversy across the nation, intriguing Senate Democrats and starting a trend. According to an unnamed aide of Senator Harry Reid, the Democrat from Nevada was seen trying to flush Bush’s Social Security proposal down the toilet.

“I heard him say that he was going to get rid of the trash as he flushed it, commented the unnamed aide. “It’s about time someone flushed that proposal down the toilet. There’s nothing in it for the people of Searchlight. You know…the little people. And that’s what Harry stands for. Flushing that proposal should really tell America what he’s all about. I think he’s wonderful!”

“I can’t confirm nor deny that Harry flushed the proposal,” remarked Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-CA. “I only know that I send my personal thanks to Kareem for solving just one of our problems in the Senate.”

John Karnack, president of Houghton Mifflin told us that he couldn’t understand how Kareem got that geometry book down the toilet. “It’s utterly amazing, John noted. “We test all of our books before publishing them. We’ve dropped them, stepped on them and desecrated them in every possible way. Yet, a Muslim student figured out how to effectively flush them. This is going to open up a larger budget for book testing, not to mention creating headaches for companies like American Standard.”

The controversy that Kareem has created isn’t exactly new. According to an unnamed Clinton advisor, Clinton was seen flushing The Starr Report, as well as many other memos down the White House toilet. “I saw it all,” said the unnamed advisor, known only as Paris Hilton. “His foot was in the toilet, ramming it down there as hard as he could while screaming expletives. If only he’d have had Kareem’s geometric secret then.”

“That’s nothing,” said Sen. John McCain, R-AZ. “I practically flushed the whole conservative movement down the toilet on a recent deal I cut. Like Rush said, ‘I walk on the wild side,’ and Kareem’s just not there yet.”

With the investigation underway, dozens of outraged parents have called the school board to request the firing of Principal Jones, feeling that Jones has violated the minority student’s rights to express his religious views. The parents aren’t alone, as an ACLU task force with dozens of lawyers descended on the school.

“I was just doing it for the children,” sobbed Jones while keeping Kareem’s hostile father at bay.

“I won’t stand for this,” said Kareem’s father, Majik Abdul-Jamar. “If anyone is going to give my son a talking too, it’s going to be me…not some racist principal. I don’t care what her intentions were.”


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Education; Humor; Miscellaneous; Politics; Society
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To: LUV W

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and the nice comments.


61 posted on 06/02/2005 7:34:07 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33

I missed your Deep Throat ping.


62 posted on 06/02/2005 7:34:17 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: maxwell

I'm sorry. I couldn't find a better angle on the story. :)


63 posted on 06/02/2005 7:34:40 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: wagglebee

Standby for ping.


64 posted on 06/02/2005 7:35:19 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33

Always enjoy them!


65 posted on 06/02/2005 7:37:42 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LibertarianInExile

"But what if you need to paint a pyramid or fill up your dodecahedron canteen with water? /sarc"

Or fire a torpedo and haven't yet had trig.


66 posted on 06/02/2005 7:40:19 PM PDT by righttackle44 (The most dangerous weapon in the world is a Marine with his rifle and the American people behind him)
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To: LUV W

I'm glad you read 'em. Most people just read 'em and vomit. But you actually enjoy it before vomiting. Thanks, LW. You're the best! :)


67 posted on 06/02/2005 7:40:35 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33

Well, my tummy has been feeling a little funny.....do you suppose.....nah!


68 posted on 06/02/2005 7:44:52 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: writer33

Weapons of Math Distruction!


69 posted on 06/02/2005 7:47:40 PM PDT by NorseWood
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To: LUV W

This must be the reason for the upset stomach. :)


70 posted on 06/02/2005 7:49:03 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: NorseWood
Weapons of Math Distruction!

:) Very nice.

71 posted on 06/02/2005 7:49:45 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33

If he had flushed a copy of "All the King's Men' would it be a Royal Flush?


72 posted on 06/02/2005 7:55:39 PM PDT by NorseWood
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To: writer33

I think I was okay until I read about John McCain--that always makes me queasy! What a weenie--oops--those make me queasy, too! Need....diet....coke!!


73 posted on 06/02/2005 8:03:15 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: writer33
In response, Nerds lined up in NON-alphabetical order and threatened to mispell the word gynocology.

Nerds protest defilement of their holy text.

74 posted on 06/02/2005 8:08:28 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Of all the idiots I've known in my life, none of them were retarded (W. Earl Brown - "Warren," SAM))
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To: righttackle44
"Or fire a torpedo and haven't yet had trig."

Oh, come on, guy. It's so simple, maybe you need a refresher course. That's done with ball bearings, not trig. It's ALL ball bearings these days!


75 posted on 06/02/2005 8:32:30 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile (<-- sick of faux-conservatives who want federal government intervention for 'conservative things.')
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To: freedumb2003
UCI=7.

It's misspell and gynecology. Spellcheck is your friend.

76 posted on 06/02/2005 8:34:36 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile (<-- sick of faux-conservatives who want federal government intervention for 'conservative things.')
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To: NorseWood
If he had flushed a copy of "All the King's Men' would it be a Royal Flush?

Good eye, NW. I'd say that'd be a big yes. Another good one. I don't think any pun could stink tonight. :)

77 posted on 06/02/2005 8:35:49 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33
You are such a witty Gulf War vet! ;)

..and I have never listened to Rush. Shocking, eh? ;)

78 posted on 06/02/2005 8:36:34 PM PDT by GulfWar1Vet ("If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag." ~ Author unknown)
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To: LUV W
I think I was okay until I read about John McCain--that always makes me queasy! What a weenie--oops--those make me queasy, too! Need....diet....coke!!

Well...that makes sense.

79 posted on 06/02/2005 8:37:24 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: NorseWood

"If he had flushed a copy of "All the King's Men' would it be a Royal Flush?"

Nope. A P.U.-litzer.


80 posted on 06/02/2005 8:37:26 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile (<-- sick of faux-conservatives who want federal government intervention for 'conservative things.')
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