Gasp! Was it a copy of "Sacred Geometry?" If so, he must be punished. He must be split equilateral triangles! Allah Akbahr!
Posted on 06/02/2005 5:15:51 PM PDT by writer33
Los Angeles—Kareem Abdul-Jamar, a Muslim geometry student at Four Square High School in Los Angeles, California, has flushed his geometry textbook down a toilet in protest of the flushing of the Koran. Above the toilet on the wall, Kareem scribbled “The infidels and their geometry books must die!”
“This is to show those American pigs that we won’t just stand by and take their abuse,” shouted Kareem as he danced around the toilet. “If they’re allowed to flush the Koran, then I’m allowed to flush my geometry textbook. I don’t care what they say. There’s no practical use for geometry anyway.”
The flushing of the book could not be verified by teachers, the principal or any of the thousands of students at Four Square High School. However, Shirley Jones, Four Square High School’s Principal, said the accusations have not been investigated yet because of the lack of credibility, but that a wide-ranging review of interrogations on conservative students were underway at the high school.
“We’re going to get to the bottom of this,” Shirley firmly stated. “Everyone knows you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole. We’ll just blame some of our fascist, conservative parents. As for Kareem’s punishment, we gave him a good talking too, warning him that if he flushed another textbook, he would pay for it and get expelled.”
The geometric dilemma has sparked controversy across the nation, intriguing Senate Democrats and starting a trend. According to an unnamed aide of Senator Harry Reid, the Democrat from Nevada was seen trying to flush Bush’s Social Security proposal down the toilet.
“I heard him say that he was going to get rid of the trash as he flushed it, commented the unnamed aide. “It’s about time someone flushed that proposal down the toilet. There’s nothing in it for the people of Searchlight. You know…the little people. And that’s what Harry stands for. Flushing that proposal should really tell America what he’s all about. I think he’s wonderful!”
“I can’t confirm nor deny that Harry flushed the proposal,” remarked Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-CA. “I only know that I send my personal thanks to Kareem for solving just one of our problems in the Senate.”
John Karnack, president of Houghton Mifflin told us that he couldn’t understand how Kareem got that geometry book down the toilet. “It’s utterly amazing, John noted. “We test all of our books before publishing them. We’ve dropped them, stepped on them and desecrated them in every possible way. Yet, a Muslim student figured out how to effectively flush them. This is going to open up a larger budget for book testing, not to mention creating headaches for companies like American Standard.”
The controversy that Kareem has created isn’t exactly new. According to an unnamed Clinton advisor, Clinton was seen flushing The Starr Report, as well as many other memos down the White House toilet. “I saw it all,” said the unnamed advisor, known only as Paris Hilton. “His foot was in the toilet, ramming it down there as hard as he could while screaming expletives. If only he’d have had Kareem’s geometric secret then.”
“That’s nothing,” said Sen. John McCain, R-AZ. “I practically flushed the whole conservative movement down the toilet on a recent deal I cut. Like Rush said, ‘I walk on the wild side,’ and Kareem’s just not there yet.”
With the investigation underway, dozens of outraged parents have called the school board to request the firing of Principal Jones, feeling that Jones has violated the minority student’s rights to express his religious views. The parents aren’t alone, as an ACLU task force with dozens of lawyers descended on the school.
“I was just doing it for the children,” sobbed Jones while keeping Kareem’s hostile father at bay.
“I won’t stand for this,” said Kareem’s father, Majik Abdul-Jamar. “If anyone is going to give my son a talking too, it’s going to be me…not some racist principal. I don’t care what her intentions were.”
Geometric Dilemma Ping!
Allahu Log-bar!
For once I agree with a Muslim, I hate Geometry as well! LoL
I have no problem with that.....I would have done the same thing but I was afraid of getting caught plugging up the drain.........Parents weren't too happy with my "D-" either.........
Good stuff Chris! Probably mostly true!
Pinging the usual suspects!
(anyone wanting on or off the satire ping list, let me know!)
I once watched a Kareem Abdul-(el-saheeb sky-hook) Jamore when he played for the Lakers. Tallest dood in the county...
I agree. Geometry is evil!
(Algebra is cool)
"There’s no practical use for geometry anyway."
But what if you need to paint a pyramid or fill up your dodecahedron canteen with water? /sarc
Flushing of the tax code is highly recommended. I'm not a plumber (I'm an electrician), but I'll bet I can get enough plumbers and fitters that we can flush it!
Flushing of the tax code is highly recommended. I'm not a plumber (I'm an electrician), but I'll bet I can get enough plumbers and fitters that we can flush it!
AD is a diameter of the circle with center O. B is any point on the circle that isn't A or D. At B, a tangent is drawn to the circle. Through O, a line is drawn parallel to AB, meeting the tangent at P. Prove that PD is a tangent to the circle.
My slide rule fell in the toilet when I was barfing after drinking too much in college. Does that count?
Close enough.
Gasp! Was it a copy of "Sacred Geometry?" If so, he must be punished. He must be split equilateral triangles! Allah Akbahr!
You covered all the angles, Chris. Isoceles bump and flush.
He was just upset that even though the Muslims "invented" Algebra in the 10th century, the Greeks were already using it in the 5th century B.C.
:) Hehe!
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