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My Kingdom for Velveeta Cheesez
An American Expat in Southeast Asia ^ | 16 April 05 | expatguy

Posted on 04/16/2005 9:38:50 PM PDT by expatguy

I had quite a busy day running about today, scouting for prime locations, trying to secure supplies and doing my best to get my All American gourmet hot dog kiosks up and running by the end of this month. Next week I will have to deal with the authorities here to secure my licenses and such which will be another drama altogether. Thank goodness my Malay is close to fluent, because it really helps a lot.

Since my Chile Con Carne and hot dogs have had such a good reception, I've decided to do nachos as well (ballpark style) the only problem is being able to consistantly "score" Velveeta cheese to use as the base for the cheese sauce. I spent the whole afternoon driving all over Kuala Lumpur today looking for Velveeta Cheese.

At the moment would you believe that there is no Velveeta Cheese in the entire country of Malaysia!!

Mr. Roger K. Deromedi are you aware of this?

This is not only an outrage, but a catastrophe!! What the heck is going on down at Kraft Foods? While you people are fooling around with goofy ideas like Jell-O Jigglers, the entire world is in turmoil, Kraft Foods share price is plunging and one or more of these people down at Kraft Foods is responsible for my cheese supply! Something has to be done and hopefully someone over at Kraft Foods can knock some heads together and see to it that we get some cheese here quickly. Something is terribly wrong when this lady has 30lbs of Velveeta and I have none.

And so, Mr. Deromedi, if you are reading this. Kindly understand that this is not merely an issue of logistics or supply chain management, something that you can merely brush aside or delegate to one of your subordinates. It is sir an issue of corporate responsibilty that needs to be addressed at the highest levels. It is individuals such as myself Mr. Deromedi, American entrepreneurs who have bravely ventured forth overseas in an era of globalization that not only promote your products but help to spread love, peace and American hegemony, one plate of gooey, cheesy nachos at a time.

Have you seen the look on a Malaysian or Indonesian's face as they timidly for the first time in their lives poke around at a plate of gooey nachos, when they lift that crispy, crunchy tortilla chip and bite into that cheesy goodness? I have seen it sir and it is a sight of beauty and love that completely transcends all political, ideological and religious barriers and differences.

Imagine Mr. Deromedi, a world at peace and what you personally as the the CEO of Kraft Foods can do to help achieve that. It is the Vision and Values of Kraft Foods that we both share and what can help unite us to do the right thing.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Food; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: cheese; moose; nachos; sister; velveeta
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To: expatguy

Sorry!

Did not know!

Texans are good people!


101 posted on 04/18/2005 12:37:44 PM PDT by tiamat (Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.)
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To: Hi Heels
Like garlic, wine and sex, there ain't no such thing as TOO MUCH velvettaz.

The first 3 I can go along with..............not the last one.

We will have to agree to disagree.

102 posted on 04/18/2005 12:47:12 PM PDT by Gabz (John Paul II, pray for us.)
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To: King Prout; All
This entire quest for cheese is becoming like some sort of dark comedy. I have a feeling this could go on forever.

Apparently Kraft has "outsourced" their customer service.

So much for the Vison and Values of Kraft Foods

I will continue the FReeping of Kraft and my quest for cheese will anyone join me in this quest?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Kraft - Online Team2

Thank you for visiting our website, and for your inquiry about our products

Kraft Foods International consists of independent operations outside the United States. Each company manufactures and markets products that appeal to their particular markets, so that many products, which are available in one country, are not available in other countries.

For Kraft products sold in other countries, please visit our website at www.kraft.com. Look for your country's site at the lower right-hand corner of the web page.

If the country you're interested in does not appear on our website, please call our International Headquarters office at 914-335-2500 or you could fax your request to 914-335-1786, and someone will be happy to assist you.

Again, we appreciate your interest in our products, and hope this information is helpful to you.

Please add our site, http://www.kraftfoods.com/ , to your bookmarks and visit us again soon!

Kim McMiller Associate Director, Consumer Relations

~~TLXEA_10520191~~N

103 posted on 04/18/2005 3:51:02 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: expatguy

hehhehheh... it'd be black irony if the pinheads who are responsible for there being no velveeta in malaysia are working in offices in downtown kuala lumpur.


104 posted on 04/18/2005 5:38:07 PM PDT by King Prout (blast and char it among fetid buzzard guts!)
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To: carlo3b; endthematrix; socal_parrot; sierrahome; crazyhorse691; BurbankKarl; Army Air Corps; ...
++ Cheese Ping ++

This is a special PING to thank all of you for your help and support.

The cheese crisis is not over yet, but there are developments to report.

Now is the time when I am hereby appealing to all my fellow FReepers to make once last strong push so that the cheese will flow!

Remember. He who controls the cheese controls the universe!

Today while looking through my website statistics, I ran across this little nugget.

VISITOR ANALYSIS
Referring Link No referring link
Host Name
IP Address 203.125.80.229
Country Singapore
Region Singapore
City Singapore
ISP Kraft Foods (ap) Services Pte Ltd
Returning Visits 3
Visit Length 3 hours 2 mins 58 secs
VISITOR SYSTEM SPECS
Browser MSIE 6.0
Operating System Windows XP
Resolution 1024x768
Javascript Enabled

And at around 6:30pm local time I received a telephone call from Jonathan Atwood, Director, Corporate Affairs

Details will be posted this evening, but we are not out of the woods yet. One last MAJOR push is needed.

An American Expat in Southeast Asia


105 posted on 04/25/2005 6:31:01 AM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: expatguy

Ah, the FR noose is tightening! Now, let us make the SEA Kraft Execs dance!


106 posted on 04/25/2005 6:38:26 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Army Air Corps; All

More developments!


107 posted on 04/30/2005 6:22:11 AM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: Army Air Corps; international american; King Prout

Sadly it is starting to looks like "No Cheese For You".


108 posted on 05/10/2005 12:13:44 AM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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