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My Kingdom for Velveeta Cheesez
An American Expat in Southeast Asia ^ | 16 April 05 | expatguy

Posted on 04/16/2005 9:38:50 PM PDT by expatguy

I had quite a busy day running about today, scouting for prime locations, trying to secure supplies and doing my best to get my All American gourmet hot dog kiosks up and running by the end of this month. Next week I will have to deal with the authorities here to secure my licenses and such which will be another drama altogether. Thank goodness my Malay is close to fluent, because it really helps a lot.

Since my Chile Con Carne and hot dogs have had such a good reception, I've decided to do nachos as well (ballpark style) the only problem is being able to consistantly "score" Velveeta cheese to use as the base for the cheese sauce. I spent the whole afternoon driving all over Kuala Lumpur today looking for Velveeta Cheese.

At the moment would you believe that there is no Velveeta Cheese in the entire country of Malaysia!!

Mr. Roger K. Deromedi are you aware of this?

This is not only an outrage, but a catastrophe!! What the heck is going on down at Kraft Foods? While you people are fooling around with goofy ideas like Jell-O Jigglers, the entire world is in turmoil, Kraft Foods share price is plunging and one or more of these people down at Kraft Foods is responsible for my cheese supply! Something has to be done and hopefully someone over at Kraft Foods can knock some heads together and see to it that we get some cheese here quickly. Something is terribly wrong when this lady has 30lbs of Velveeta and I have none.

And so, Mr. Deromedi, if you are reading this. Kindly understand that this is not merely an issue of logistics or supply chain management, something that you can merely brush aside or delegate to one of your subordinates. It is sir an issue of corporate responsibilty that needs to be addressed at the highest levels. It is individuals such as myself Mr. Deromedi, American entrepreneurs who have bravely ventured forth overseas in an era of globalization that not only promote your products but help to spread love, peace and American hegemony, one plate of gooey, cheesy nachos at a time.

Have you seen the look on a Malaysian or Indonesian's face as they timidly for the first time in their lives poke around at a plate of gooey nachos, when they lift that crispy, crunchy tortilla chip and bite into that cheesy goodness? I have seen it sir and it is a sight of beauty and love that completely transcends all political, ideological and religious barriers and differences.

Imagine Mr. Deromedi, a world at peace and what you personally as the the CEO of Kraft Foods can do to help achieve that. It is the Vision and Values of Kraft Foods that we both share and what can help unite us to do the right thing.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Food; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: cheese; moose; nachos; sister; velveeta
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The title was either My Kingdom for Velveeta Cheese or Roger and Me.
1 posted on 04/16/2005 9:38:51 PM PDT by expatguy
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To: expatguy

Everyone knows that queso and Ro-Tel tomatoes bring the world together!


2 posted on 04/16/2005 9:43:27 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (I am sick of brownshirts in black robes)
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To: carlo3b; endthematrix; socal_parrot; sierrahome; crazyhorse691; BurbankKarl; ...
*PING*

One man's quest for Velveeta or The FReeping of Kraft or How I learned to stop worrying and love the Brie.

An American Expat in Southeast Asia

3 posted on 04/16/2005 9:54:14 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: Army Air Corps
The Ro-Tel I have managed to secure it is the Velveeta.

Im not sure what is going on down at Kraft Foods, but heads need to roll.

Imagine a boardroom full of pinheads and they come up with this idiotic idea while an entire country does without Velveeta.

4 posted on 04/16/2005 10:00:47 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: expatguy
Grilled cheese sammmich with Velveeta and dill pickles in it and a bowl of tomato soup...I'll be in the kitchen for a while. I wonder if we have any of those Archway Lemon cookies.
5 posted on 04/16/2005 10:06:48 PM PDT by sierrahome (Department of Redundancy Department)
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To: expatguy

Do you need a Velveeta shipment from stateside Freepers? I am sure that a stockpile could be sent to you via DHL, FedEx, diplomatic courier, etc. This is an emergency folks; am man, an AMERICAN, man overseas needs to make some chili con queso and he is left high and dry! This must not stand!


6 posted on 04/16/2005 10:07:59 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (I am sick of brownshirts in black robes)
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To: expatguy

LOL! I'm sure you'll find a way. Good luck in your new venture. Are you selling Polish sausage as well?


7 posted on 04/16/2005 10:08:50 PM PDT by Welsh Rabbit
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To: expatguy
Tonight we ate at Cheedars.

You can imagine my currdled cry when our server said,"Welcome to Cheddars. I'm Brie and I'll be your server this evening!"

8 posted on 04/16/2005 10:10:03 PM PDT by Young Werther
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To: Young Werther

Was she soft and runny?


9 posted on 04/16/2005 10:12:12 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (I am sick of brownshirts in black robes)
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To: Army Air Corps
Dearest Army Air Corps,

While the gesture of shipping an emergency load of Velveeta is much appreciated, I believe that we must first hear an explanation from Roger at Kraft Foods a 34 Billion dollar corporation as to why there is no Velvetta in Malaysia.

10 posted on 04/16/2005 10:12:56 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: Young Werther

I bet she had a certain odor about her.


11 posted on 04/16/2005 10:15:54 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: expatguy

Maybe Mikhail Moore could produce a "documentary" on the subject. ;-)


12 posted on 04/16/2005 10:16:04 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (I am sick of brownshirts in black robes)
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To: Welsh Rabbit
I have a German expat friend here who makes the polish sausage now for me and the hot dogs.

When I first met him he went on ranting on about how Michael Moore was a genius and how much he loved the movie 9/11. It has taken me time, but he is slowly converting over to our side.

13 posted on 04/16/2005 10:19:19 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: expatguy

I am amazed that you can buy Ro-Tel outside the US. at that rate, you might be able to procure a jar of Van de Walle Farms salsa (damned good stuff).


14 posted on 04/16/2005 10:21:10 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (I am sick of brownshirts in black robes)
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To: expatguy

Way to go, counter-propoganda minister!


15 posted on 04/16/2005 10:22:10 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (I am sick of brownshirts in black robes)
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To: sierrahome

That is cruel.


16 posted on 04/16/2005 10:22:15 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: Army Air Corps
Not only Rotel my FRiend but we can now also secure Pace Picante sauce!
17 posted on 04/16/2005 10:24:25 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: Army Air Corps
Way to go, counter-propoganda minister!

It is a tough job, but we all need to play our part.

18 posted on 04/16/2005 10:25:37 PM PDT by expatguy (http://laotze.blogspot.com/)
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To: expatguy

Both Pace and Van de Walle Farms are from my hometown - San Antonio. The latter has a fresher taste, IMHO, (the ingredients come from their own farms outside SA).


19 posted on 04/16/2005 10:26:57 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (I am sick of brownshirts in black robes)
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To: expatguy

I don't know if they'll ship to you, but look to Chicago for your hot dog desires...

"10 of Portillo’s all beef hot dogs shipped to you or a friend, with all the fixings. Everything you need to create an authentic Portillo’s style hot dog with everything is included, 10 hot dogs in a cryovac pouch, 10 poppy seed buns, mustard, relish, 1 fresh onion, 2 red ripe tomatoes, 2 whole kosher pickles, sport peppers & Portillo’s hot dog seasoning. All products are safely packaged to preserve quality and freshness, and then shipped via FEDEX."

http://portillos.com/store/item.asp?ITEM_ID=4&DEPARTMENT_ID=40


20 posted on 04/16/2005 10:27:05 PM PDT by endthematrix (Declare 2005 as the year the battle for freedom from tax slavery!)
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