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DUmmie FUnnies 01-21-05 ("Captain Pike was an idiot")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 21, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/21/2005 6:01:58 PM PST by PJ-Comix

One great way to get your post count up to the magic 1000 in DUmmieland is to go into the DUmmie Lounge and post in one of the many non-political discussions. It is much easier to get your post count up this way than to join one of the political discussions since you are much less likely to “out” yourself. As an example, let us join in this DUmmie Star Trek THREAD titled, “Captain Pike was an idiot.” So let us Beam Down to DUmmieland to observe this Star Trek episode. Of course, any crew member joining us in this adventure named Ensign Smith is sure to DIE so you might as well start building his casket now. The Klingon DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with his Phaser set on Stun, is in the [brackets]:

Captain Pike was an idiot. Here he is, on a planet with a woman who is HOT HOT HOT!, and is hot in many different forms, and yet he insists on getting back to the Enterprise. And yeah, Vina, in real life, is a horribly deformed yucko; but the Talosians can make her into anything! And what they make her into is HOT HOT HOT!

[God Bless those Talosians. I only wish they could have worked their magic on a few blind dates I had in the past. One in particular looked just like Nikita Khruschev in drag with a horrible garlic stench on her breath. The Talosians could have made her look like the young version of Sophia Loren but could they also have gotten rid of that horrible breath?]

Hubby and I have discussed this as well. Odd that I agree w/ you, yet he would not

[Maybe your hubby was thinking of calling up the Talosians to give YOU a major makeover.]

I totally agree.....Why go back to the Enterprise, when you can be with that hottie. Plus the fact that the Talosians can make her look hot forever. I would have said, " F**K the Enterprise, I'm staying here!"

[An interesting thing about those Talosians is that they seemed like big headed gay aliens. Perhaps the Talosians were the forerunners to the “Queer Eye” series. Nothing against the Talosians, of course, but I would prefer NOT to enter any Talosian bars. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Talosian.]

You're still right, though - if he'd stayed when he had the chance, he wouldn't have had that accident, and wouldn't have had to go back to the planet. he could have stayed with the hottie, never knowing what she really looked like, and lived a life of sexual bliss and harmony.

[That was a two-part episode, The Menagerie. One of my faves. However, I got a bigger kick out of the episode where Spock had to have sex once every seven years or he would go crazy.]

Of course he was an idiot. That's why they replaced him with the best ST captain ever: James T. Kirk!

[I don’t know about acting but I will admit that Kirk can sing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds better.]

Yeah, I'm glad they knocked him off and put in Kirk. Kirk was way better! Though I wish Majel could have stayed in her role - she was a hottie, and should have gotten more time on screen in that awesome outfit. She wasn't so interesting as Nurse Chapel.

[At least Gene Roddenberry got to shtoop Nurse Chapel on a regular basis.]

Only when Vina regained consciousness... that's when their fun began! It's a great story all the same...And to think, it's Spock (and not Kirk) who had the idea of getting Pike back to Talos 4 so he could get jiggy with Vina...

[Although Spock only had sex once every seven years, he was also an extreme voyeur. Think Spock wasn’t watching the Pike/Vina action on his viewfinder? Which reminds me, with all that advanced Star Trek technology, how come no X-Rated DVDs on board?]

Jeffrey Hunter was a *terrible* actor...I watched "Menagerie" in recent years, and was struck by just how unutterably awful he was. Shatner looks like a genius in comparison.

[You don’t like Jeffrey Hunter as a Star Trek captain? Fine. But he was THE definitive Jesus and didn’t play the part with an accent like that heathen furriner, Max Von Sydow.]

Did you ever see Hunter play Jesus! I can't even remember the name of the movie -- I couldn't take it.

[Either King of Kings or The Greatest Story Ever Told. I get them confused. And I have accepted Jeffrey Hunter in my heart as the ONE TRUE HOLLYWOOD Jesus.]

Picard wasn't any better. See, only Kirk is da' man here!

[True. I just couldn’t accept Chrome Dome Picard as a Star Trek captain. However, he did portray a great Lenin on Materpiece Theater’s Fall Of Eagles.]

He didn't want to be a captive and a guinea pig. It was only after he was imprisoned in his own body that he realized what he'd given up. Fortunately for him, he got a rare second chance for happiness.

[Yeah. I remember Pike was stuck inside of a metal box contraption. He looked like he was halfway into a coma and the only way he could communicate was with a light on the contraption. One blink meant “Yes,” and Two blinks meant “No.” Or was it the reverse? Or was that all communicated via red and green lights? I hate to say this but Ross Perot’s 1992 running mate reminded me an awful lot of Pike in the metal box.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; spaceddummies; spacenerds; startrek; trekkies
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To: PJ-Comix
Here's a cute one. What an idiot. The topic being discussed is the troops that had to shoot into a car because it wouldn't stop at a checkpoint:

Lydia Leftcoast (1000+ posts) Fri Jan-21-05 06:41 PM Response to Reply #15

17. If they were good enough sharpshooters to target and hit the driver

couldn't they have shot out the tires or something to stop the car?

She has to be blonde. She just has to be.

81 posted on 01/21/2005 9:41:36 PM PST by DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet (Christine Fraudoire is not my governoire.)
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To: Bush_Democrat
I could not have wrote it any better myself,
82 posted on 01/21/2005 9:42:51 PM PST by TexasTransplant (NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSET)
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To: Darkwolf377

It is the only real world they have! When you live in a basement in front of a computer spewing out hate, I guess 30-year old TV shows are as real as it gets for the DUmmies!


83 posted on 01/21/2005 9:43:11 PM PST by luvie ("SELF GOVERNMENT RELIES, IN THE END, ON THE GOVERNING OF THE SELF" GWB 1-20-05 AMEN!)
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To: DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet

At DU, they're ALL blonde.

-Dan

84 posted on 01/21/2005 9:45:10 PM PST by Flux Capacitor (HOWARD THE DUCK in 2008)
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To: Dallas59

Oh, HELL yeah. :)

-Dan

85 posted on 01/21/2005 9:46:28 PM PST by Flux Capacitor (HOWARD THE DUCK in 2008)
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To: PJ-Comix

Yeah that's cause Spock finally got some, and the show only lasted for four more seasons. Therefore they didn't get to his next sexual frustration trip.


86 posted on 01/21/2005 9:51:34 PM PST by phoenix0468 (One man with courage is a majority. (Thomas Jefferson))
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To: Dallas59; MeekOneGOP

Check out this new Zot graphic that Dallas59 did!!


87 posted on 01/21/2005 9:56:57 PM PST by BreitbartSentMe (Now EX-Democrat)
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To: Flux Capacitor

Wow, I wish I could shove an episode of Star Trek up a DUmmies ass like that. Of course my idea would be just shove the T.V. up it while it's showing the episode. It would be a lot more painful and memorable to the DUmmie.


88 posted on 01/21/2005 9:58:01 PM PST by phoenix0468 (One man with courage is a majority. (Thomas Jefferson))
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To: Dallas59

89 posted on 01/21/2005 10:01:14 PM PST by Dallas59 (Bush said the "F" word 27 times January 20th, 2005!)
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To: LUV W
I'm serious, I find the widespread Star Trek love among libbies really distressing. Whenever I talk with some college-educated lib, at some point there is a Star Trek reference and I realize they're not all that smart, they just speak in a sophisticated manner. Believe me I'm no anti-intellectual, but the left seems populated by pseudo-intellectuals.

They're like Woody Allen--just because he makes references to great works of art in his movies, that doesn't make his movies great art. Libs can reference all sorts of thinkers, yet at heart they wish they were flying around with the Enterprise gang.

90 posted on 01/22/2005 1:12:36 AM PST by Darkwolf377 (DUmmies = Star Trek fans whose DVD players broke)
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And now for something to drive the reality stake back into their hearts...













....or whatever pumps in their sagging chests.

91 posted on 01/22/2005 3:17:18 AM PST by RandallFlagg (Roll your own cigarettes! You'll save bucks and smoke less!(Magnetic bumper stickers-click my name)
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To: Darkwolf377; All
Y'all mean Star Trek wuzn't real? It wuz all made up?

Yuh done broke muh ol' heart with thet nuz!

92 posted on 01/22/2005 4:25:07 AM PST by Budge (<><)
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To: carlr

"The whole point of that episode was that humans crave freedom above all else,even a "hottie".In light of the Presidents speech yesterday how very appropriate.
No surprise the DUmmies think it is about sex."

And there we have it. Billy Clintoon - The epitome of the DUmmie's captured in the above thread..


93 posted on 01/22/2005 4:45:05 AM PST by roaddog727 (The marginal propensity to save is 1 minus the marginal propensity to consume.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
pelosians weird looking

rofl.

Pelosi, Hillary, Boxer just keep reminding me of the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz.

"Come, my little dearie, you will just love socialism."

Every time I see them I keep expecting them to start melting, melting.....
94 posted on 01/22/2005 5:01:42 AM PST by cgbg (Come die in Seattle--your vote will still count!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Typical hippies...

Why do your duty when there's limitless booty?


95 posted on 01/22/2005 5:04:07 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Darkwolf377
Two great lines from Woody Allen movies that have always stayed with me:

A Russian holds up a piece of turf in his hand: "This is my land! This is my land!" (from "Love and Death")

and one line any Freeper should love, "They merged Commentary and Dissent and created Dysentery". (from "Annie Hall")
96 posted on 01/22/2005 5:12:02 AM PST by cgbg (Come die in Seattle--your vote will still count!)
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To: PJ-Comix
PJ, did you happen to catch the post(s) about the 100+ year-old toilets being sifted through in Australia yesterday?

The Aussies call them "long drops" or (my favorite) "Dunnies!"

Fits perfectly with "DUmmie FUnnies!"

97 posted on 01/22/2005 5:21:18 AM PST by Budge (<><)
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To: PJ-Comix; Budge
Sorry, I forgot the link.
98 posted on 01/22/2005 5:30:48 AM PST by Budge (<><)
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To: Bush_Democrat; Dallas59
hahahaaaa!

UNNNNNNNNNG!


99 posted on 01/22/2005 5:59:50 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: Purrcival; PJ-Comix
And I have accepted Jeffrey Hunter in my heart as the ONE TRUE HOLLYWOOD Jesus.]

Huh? What about Jim Caviezel?

Robert Elfstrom: accept no substitutes.

100 posted on 01/22/2005 6:23:32 AM PST by Oztrich Boy (Not a tag line)
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