Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-04 ("How have you handled the past two months on a personal level?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 30, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 12/30/2004 5:22:54 PM PST by PJ-Comix

Remember the Robert DeNiro character, Max Cady, in the movie, Cape Fear? Well, right now, while reading this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Be honest: how have you handled the past two months on a personal level?” I feel just like that character when he was loudly laughing right behind a terrified family in a movie theater. The only difference is that instead of a movie theater, I am laughing LOUDLY at the Drama Queen pain the DUmmies are expressing over the election results. So, put on those really loud Hawaiian shirts, light up those cigars, and LAUGH at the self-pitying antics of the DUmmies. As usual, the pained DUmmie commentaries are in Bolshevik Red, while the… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!…comments of your humble correspondent are in the [brackets]:

Be honest: how have you handled the past two months on a personal level? I said this in another thread: I haven't slept well for nearly two months now because of this election. I can barely eat, and I've lost ten pounds. I'm tense all the time, I move rapidly between depression and anger, and I feel like I'm isolated. Is anyone out there feeling like this? Or am I just taking this too hard? How has everyone else been since the election? What is helping you through it?

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I know where your pounds went. I haven't slept well for nearly two months now because of this election. I eat all the time, and I've gained ten pounds. I'm tense all the time, I move rapidly between depression and anger, and I feel like I'm isolated.

[And I move rapidly between jubilation and elation, and I feel vindicated.]

No, I know where her pounds went. I've been the same way. All I want to do is eat and I've gained 12 pounds since the week before the election.

[NEWSFLASH!!! The election has been over for nearly 2 months. It is safe now to lift your face from that bag of marshmallows.]

I believe that our country will overtly become fascist and to live in a society like that is not in my vocabulary. I have two teenaged sons, a business and a very comfortable home, and am torn about shedding my "stuff" and relocating, resisting (and possibly spend my years meditating in a camp somewhere), or will I not have the courage and become like those in Nazi Germany just accepting?

[Just to feed into this DUmmie’s paranoia, they should have a French voice making announcement over a loudspeaker on Inauguration Day in D.C.. Then, ala Casablanca, the French voice is replaced by a German voice making an announcement starting with “ACHTUNG!”]

I am continually nervous and frightened. I grew up in a democracy, and living under a dictatorship is something I never mentally prepared for. My heart races, my hands shake, my feet sweat, and I wake up many times in the night. It doesn't seem to get better over time, although the depression is gradually replaced by anger and fear.

[Have you caught jock itch yet?]

I feel like a German of the '30's. I wince and grimly look around me and feel... very uncomfortable. It's hard to focus on work, I feel like our whole paradigm is about to change.

[Paradigms SHIFT, not change. Get your DUmmie talking points right.]

When I saw the election turn during the night of Nov 2 & 3, I kind of went into shock. When I woke up the next morning and my husband told me Kerry just conceded, I felt like my guts had been ripped out. I'm NOT OVER IT!! And I never will be. But I know it's going to get a whole lot worse for our country before this nightmare is over. I feel like I've always been "married" to America, and then find out this "spouse" is a serial killer/rapist, on hard drugs, with a huge gambling problem that just wiped us out, before he ran off with my children into hiding, and his brother, the judge, just stuck me with child support payments that I can't pay, and I may go to jail if I don't come up with the money, which I can't, because I lost my job. << I know that sounds pretty melodramatic; but all those feelings of betrayal, desperation, injustice, hopelessness, outrage, insanity, loss, grief.... I feel them all at the same time.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I can't stand to get up in the morning without checking DU. I abandon my own message board to wait here for news. My fingernails - GONE. I forego make-up to check DU before I leave the house. Dishes tend to pile up for a couple of days now. I feel hopeless, disgusted, angry, motivated all at once. I email politicians and media people all friggin' day. My online friends are sick of hearing me talk about this stuff. I sleep until I can't sleep anymore, but still wake up too early. I am frustrated because people don't understand the magnitude of this or its importance. They don't know, and they don't want to know. I finally crumbled and cried (can't remember what development set me off; it was about 2 weeks ago).

[Somehow I get the feeling you WON’T be a New Year’s Eve Life of the Party person.]

And I am angry. I am angry that we are not taking to the streets like they did in Russia. I am angry that we do idiotic things--like standing in front on an empty house--when we should be taking our country back. Why are our leaders so ineffective?

[Don’t be so down on yourself. That freezing in front of Kerry’s empty townhouse bit was GREAT comedy relief!]

Nervous, irritable....a bit withdrawn, smoking too much, weird sleep patterns. I think I've lost weight; I know I'm vitamin-deficient in all sorts of ways, not much appetite. I know I don't laugh as easily as I did before the election. I know I'm not taking as much pleasure in fun silly things as I used to. Likeminded people help. The 'Return of the King' EE helps; oddly enough, so does exquisitely depressing music like Leonard Cohen and Nick Drake and Richard Thompson. (And sometimes 'Dr. Strangelove...' and Sabbath's 'War Pigs') Drafting endless letters to various political figures (two of which have actually gotten e-mailed) seems to briefly alleviate the symptoms.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

It's been hard, frankly. I get a white hot surge of rage sometimes. What the hell is wrong with this country anyway? I live in Southern California. People in the red states hate us. They've got political power, thanks to the effing Electoral College. I've got relatives in Texas who are laughing up their effing sleeves. Where the hell are all the Democratic leaders? We gotta DO something about this. This sucks.

[Have you considered a Prozac overdose?]

I feel like I'm in the f*cking Twilight Zone. There is this big smelly Elephant sitting in the corner of my house but I can only talk about it with a few people. I think realizing the major media outlets have completely gone to the dark side is what really hit me hardest. I was a basket case for the first couple of weeks after the election - little sleep, distracted and feeling like I was going nuts, but since then I've learned to deal with this new bizarre reality I find myself in. Thank god I found DU. My wife has also helped calm me down a bit. I've never been one for conspiracy theories and this election fraud issue has always just seemed like elementary connect the dots - which is why seeing so many people in denial of it just boggles my mind.

[That big smelly Elephant sitting in your house just left one hell of a big pet deposit on your floor.]

dazed and confused...starved for the truth...angry, passionate, patriotic, fearful,determined, anxious and ready to fight like hell for the dignity and integrity of our vote! So much to deal with...it has truly been one hell of a ride...

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

I REALLY needed Kerry to win the elction, for me personally as well as for the country and the world. I hoped that getting GWB out of office would free me so that I could move on with my life. I live alone and have isolated myself terribly. I have been utterly unable to work or do anything to either be productive or make any money for over 2 years now. I have been hanging out in places where I sometimes/often see no hope for myself.

[Those heroin shooting galleries do tend to have that effect on you.]

Depression, preoccupation, nightmares, distraction, apathy, misery, hopelessness, insomnia, poor eating habits, social avoidance, repeated thoughts of expatriation and various and sundry other personal upsets.

[So where’s the downside for you?]

i am pissed though at being called idiotic yesterday on TV by Novak. if you missed crossfire, he called "us" in other words believers idiots. and said the recount is over and so it the election - and we are all looking for Kerry to come to our rescue. its things like that that bother me. that make me think every word we type is being looked at. all of this will be repeated by some moron on a freeper board. and taken out of context. makes me crazy.

[Hee! Hee! And may I place your name on the DUFU Ping List, DUmmie roenyc?]

I will never give up! Yes, I've put on weight, I'm drinking heavily and smoking pot when I can find it. I'm on antidepressants and stomache medicine. I vary between anger, sadness, and a numbness that pervades my soul. I have 2 Kerry, 2 DU, a Bush Knew, a What Mandate?, and a Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry bumper stickers on my car and I will continue to taunt the ignorant Bush voters with their stupidity and remind them of their responsibility for the next 4 years of fiasco at every opportunity.

[Take another hit on that pot and INHALE deeply.]

must we air our dirty laundry to the freepers can't this be posted in the lounge, where the freeps might not venture?

[You must! You must!]

I try to tell people that this election was not fair & free....They say.."I did not here this on the news" .Then I tell them the news is owned by corporations and its in there best interest to keep the king in power bla bla bla .....they ask were is John Kerry? I keep screaming but no one wants to here me , they tell me to GET OVER IT .....I know in my heart I'm not nuts and neither are the rest of us who are convinced of the fraud . Yet most people have no idea what happened and how the election system is set up. For many you vote, they count votes then there's a winner. I really think ignorance would be bliss..once you learn the facts about this its hard not to be totally effected.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

it didn't sink in until the electors were certified. i was sure that the truth would set us free, and gulped down the truth every day here at du. i was sure we would be saved. but, once those electors were certified, it sank in. just in time for christmas. i had a horrible holiday, and took the family down with me. i am so torn. i fight within myself all the time to keep my sense of self. when you are the mom of 5 kids, that is already hard. but i have taken the misdeeds of the * administration personally. this is my country, and it feels like my kids have grown up to be axe murderers. either this is my country, and it is my duty to be a part of how it acts, or it is not my country any more. lose, lose.

[“I BELIEVE that John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20!!!”]

I was on the freeway on my way to work thinking Kerry wouldn't concede until ALL the votes were counted, my sister calls me and said he conceded. I was so upset I turned around and didn't go to work that day. All I could do was cry for the next few days. Then I got very angry at Kerry and Democrats, America and our political system. I withdrew from all action committees, TrueMajority, Moveon.org, etc. I decided that I would not do anything political ever again.

[< Max Cady> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! < /Max Cady>]

Not going out. No movies. Spending very little money. Feeling like the bad guys are winning and the Fundies are on a rampage. Playing video games - World of Warcraft is very immersive and I don't think about the Real World. Feeling helpless and wishing there was something more substantial I could do other than give money to places. Wondering where do we go from here. No matter what happens it will not turn out well - at least for some time.

[Perhaps you should consider posting to one of those dopey “I BELIEVE!!!” threads.]

. Feeling powerless SUCKS. I haven't been able to concentrate since the campaign got going. Every time I settle down and try to get some work done, there's a voice in the back of my head, saying "That criminal is still in the white house, whattaya gonna do about it?" and "He's going to destroy SS and you're mom's gonna be moving in with you," and "How can we prove fraud, can it be proven, how can you relax if it happened?"

[It sounds like the Son of Sam is talking to you.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 81-100101-120121-140 ... 181-192 next last
To: PJ-Comix

PJ, masterful job, as usual! But you're abandoning us on the day after that moron Democratic Congressman from Michigan (John Conyers - Detroit area, I think) has formally announced that he is going to contest the Ohio electoral votes next Thursday. And, of course, Maxine Waters is joining him. He has written all 100 Senators, asking them to join him. This is bound to send the DUmmies sailing into euphoria again, rushing to worship at the Kerry face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich. The "I Beeelieeeeve!"
threads will be revived. I'm sure Pied Piper Pitt will be egging them on all the way. What fun!

OK, so the guilt trip doesn't work with you. Have fun at the party, and have a Happy New Year!

Hee hee hee


101 posted on 12/30/2004 9:00:26 PM PST by Purrcival
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: hipaatwo
Shadenfreude!!

It's what's for Dinner! (Cue Copeland)

102 posted on 12/30/2004 9:11:14 PM PST by freedumb2003 (When does the Revolution start? I'm going for a bike ride for a while. Please fill me in later.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: NRA1995

Frank!!!!

Haven't heard "The Slime" in years! Great one!!!


103 posted on 12/30/2004 9:17:52 PM PST by NonLinear ("If not instantaneous, then extrordinarily fast" - Galileo re. speed of light. circa 1600)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 87 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I forego make-up to check DU before I leave the house. Dishes tend to pile up for a couple of days now. I feel hopeless, disgusted, angry, motivated all at once

Just "a day in the life" of a DUmmie!

104 posted on 12/30/2004 9:19:46 PM PST by luvie (Notice the DUM's don't talk about 3rd-term presidencies since November 2nd--hmmmm??!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: NRA1995

"Gloooom, despaaaaair and agony on me......"

...Deeeep, dark depression, excessive miser-eeeee!


105 posted on 12/30/2004 9:21:04 PM PST by Purrcival
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 89 | View Replies]

To: Purrcival

"If it wern't for bad luck,
I'd have no luck at all...."


106 posted on 12/30/2004 9:22:06 PM PST by NonLinear ("If not instantaneous, then extrordinarily fast" - Galileo re. speed of light. circa 1600)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 105 | View Replies]

To: penowa

"Everytime I start to feel sorry for the miserable little toadies, you post one of their better threads that makes me laugh so loud I scare my dogs!"

I was feeling really sorry for them, also. Thanks PJ for pulling me out! This was very enlightening. ;-)


107 posted on 12/30/2004 9:22:49 PM PST by imskylark
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I've got relatives in Texas who are laughing up their effing sleeves.

Oh, no! We in Texas aren't laughing up our sleeves--WE ARE

108 posted on 12/30/2004 9:26:10 PM PST by luvie (Notice the DUM's don't talk about 3rd-term presidencies since November 2nd--hmmmm??!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NonLinear

"Gloooom, despaaaaair and agony on me......"

"...Deeeep, dark depression, excessive miser-eeeee!"

"If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..."

Gloooooom, despaaaaaair and agony on meeeee!


109 posted on 12/30/2004 9:26:37 PM PST by Purrcival
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 106 | View Replies]

To: maggiefluffs

When I saw the picture, I had to double check. I thought that was Kerry holding that sign in front of his house. haha I think I need to go to bed.


110 posted on 12/30/2004 9:27:32 PM PST by imskylark
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies]

To: cgbg

"every word we type is being looked at. all of this will be repeated by some moron on a freeper board. and taken out of context. makes me crazy."

People looking over every word you write? You're just a little paranoid. No one is reading and repeating your words. Its all in your head. There is no freeper board. It's just a hallucination. Maybe you should double up on your medications. Yeah, that will take care of everything.


111 posted on 12/30/2004 9:34:04 PM PST by imskylark
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 85 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
No DUFU edition tomorrow

GASP!!! A whole 24 hours without DUFU--can we stand it!!! Now, you better not have a hangover come Saturday, 'cause we are going to be in desperate need of a "fix" by then!! Anyhow, have fun!

...PJ & everyone!!!

112 posted on 12/30/2004 9:37:01 PM PST by luvie (Notice the DUM's don't talk about 3rd-term presidencies since November 2nd--hmmmm??!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: LUV W; PJ-Comix; All
Here is a thread that even without PJ's fantastic wit, should keep us laughing all day tomorrow.

SMOKING GUN? THE CNN NATIONAL EXIT POLL SITE PROVES THAT KERRY WON!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=203x214060

Sorry I forget how to post URLS :(

113 posted on 12/30/2004 10:10:47 PM PST by Repub4bush (Hey DU.......Saint Rove....Patron Saint of all your votes!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 112 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Don't worry DUmmies! I feel your pain!

And it makes me laugh


114 posted on 12/30/2004 10:17:27 PM PST by Democratshavenobrains
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Wow. And to think, these folks will be slitting their wrists to see Hillary! elected in '08. We've got our work cut out for us....


Kit.


115 posted on 12/30/2004 10:36:35 PM PST by KitJ
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Repub4bush
Here ya go! :)
116 posted on 12/30/2004 11:37:29 PM PST by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle (I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 113 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
"my sister calls me and said he conceded. I was so upset I turned around and didn't go to work that day. All I could do was cry for the next few days."

I've read this and frankly, I'm weeping, tears just streaming down my eyes. What crazy, monstrously insane drugs are the left on at this point?

117 posted on 12/31/2004 12:12:45 AM PST by daguberment (The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: groanup
.. i had a horrible holiday, and took the family down with me. i am so torn. i fight within myself all the time to keep my sense of self. when you are the mom of 5 kids,...

This is the kind of wingnut mom who would murder her children to save them from THE ROVE!

118 posted on 12/31/2004 2:42:33 AM PST by jslade (People who are easily offended......OFFEND ME!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 73 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Feeling powerless SUCKS. I haven't been able to concentrate since the campaign got going. Every time I settle down and try to get some work done, there's a voice in the back of my head, saying "That criminal is still in the white house, whattaya gonna do about it?

I'm getting a bit worried about the DUmmies, I fear one of them might be kooky enough and just might own a gun and try something. They are so immersed with the thought that W = evil and Rove = overlord that I wouldn't put it past them to try and take a shot or 2 at them, literally. I hope the feds are monitoring DU.

119 posted on 12/31/2004 3:12:21 AM PST by William of Orange (I'm John Kerry and I approve this message. No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do. Maybe, not.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MontanaBeth

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #521.


120 posted on 12/31/2004 3:49:51 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 81-100101-120121-140 ... 181-192 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson