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DUmmie FUnnies 11-30-04 PM Edition ("WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS, I GUARANTEE YOU....")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 30, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 11/30/2004 7:09:10 PM PST by PJ-Comix

The DUmmies are so far gone into fantasy that it takes a very special thread to grab my attention in the auditioning process for the DUmmie Funnies. I believe I have found such a Dummie discussion so completely divorced from reality that it deserves to be honored with a DUmmie FUnnies edition. I therefore present to you this hallowed THREAD appropriately titled, “WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS, I GUARANTEE YOU....” Yup! It’s an absolute guarantee that Kerry will enter the White House this January. Therefore as a public service I again list the Suicide Hotline number for the DUmmies to call this Jan. 20: 1-800-BUSH-WON. As usual the DUmmie Delusions are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, still amazed that the DUmmies continue to eagerly swallow the bunkum, are in the [brackets]:

WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS, I GUARANTEE YOU.... Kerry will be in the White House as long as we keep up the pace we have been at the last few weeks. We need to keep the emails going, keep the protests going...as long as we do this more and more leaders will fall in line as they see the movement grow.

[Oh thank you, DUmmie tbuddha, for posting this! But even more practical than sending out emails is to close our eyes real tight and visualize out own reality of a Kerry win.]

I can't say this enough:

1) Protest, Protest, Protest

If you have time to attend any protest in your area, DO IT. Get out there. Especially in Ohio and Florida. We did one in CO and it made the news. IT puts a face to this that people DO CARE about this election for all to see.

[Visualize, Visualize, Visualize.]

2) Email, Email, Email

Use our talking points (see below). Send to local media. Send to national media. Send to congressmen. Send to friends and family. Post in various blogs. Bookmark as many sites you can and put them all in a "stolen election" folder for easy reference. Save good articles as Word docs for cut and paste later.

[Wish, Wish, Wish.]

TALKING POINT: We have mountains of evidence of fraud. From voting machines that counted extra Bush votes to voter suppression and intimidation. We have hundreds of incidences that republicans used. Every established indicator of fraud that we have is showing that this election was STOLEN.

[Of course there was intimidation. All those young voters inspired to go to the polls by Rock The Vote were intimidated from voting due to having to wait more than 10 minutes on the lines. You can’t expect them to wait that long when they have the important Rave club scene to get to.]

Pound these republicans with the message. Thank Jesse Jackson for putting his ass out there. He needs our support. We have a huge lead on the truth right now and as long as we keep our talpking points out there, OUR talking heads on the TV will get the message out better in the coming weeks. But we have to protest too. And if they try to stone wall in court, we'll protest there too.

[And don’t forgive to send oodles of cash to Bev Harris. She is working diligently for us by coming up with new marketing plans for her Vote Fraud documentary.]

"Be the steamroller, not the asphalt". Personally, for me it's not enough to see Kerry inaugarated in January. I want Bush in the Hague for the war crimes he has commited, where he can sit and play spades all day with Saddam and Milosevic.

[“Be a toilet, not a turd.”]

I wish I had your confidence. Perhaps it's the loss of energy from fighting this vicious cold, but I'm quickly running out of steam. It all seems like such a done deal at this point. *primal scream*....if I had the strength that is.

[Forget Primal Scream. I find that smashing my head against a brick wall works wonders in getting my confidence back.]

Yes, I thought Kerry would win in a landslide. How are we going to get him to unconcede?

[By getting him to enter a Deconcession Chamber for a couple of hours.]

I don't know your ultimate goal but mounting evidence points to the fact that Kerry, indeed, won by a landslide if you remember that the Republicans manipulated the results in 3 states that are worth 52 electoral votes!

[And that’s an established fact! There is no proof but we don’t need no stinkin’ proof!]

As soon as the votes are there I'm pretty sure he'll accept the presidency.

[“Hi John Kerry! We are here to tell you that the votes you need to win are out there somewhere. So you can go ahead now and accept the presidency.”]

Oh my God, it would be so sweet if Kerry won this election after all...especially so I can tell all the freepers I know to kiss my liberal ass!!

[Go ahead and gloat just like you did on the afternoon of Nov. 2 when the exit polls showed Kerry winning.]

The last few weeks have sucked ass, waiting for counts to be certified and not being able to do much. But we're getting close to the time when we find out the truth. We know how the MSM work. WE HAVE TO BE LOUD TO BE HEARD!!!! We have to TAKE TO THE STREETS in Ohio this weekend and our state capitols nest weekend. Look what's happening in Ukraine! We have to talk to people we know - everyone - so that this theory stops being tin-foiled! WE KNOW THIS IS REAL!!!!!

[WOO! HOO! The Moronic Convergence happens this weekend!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: brownshirtsforkerry; bushwins; byanymeansnecessary; civilwar2; civilwarii; conspiracy; conspiracytheory; dementeddummies; dummies; eattinfoil; gettingintheshower; goebbelswouldbeproud; johnkerry; loosers; moronicconvergence; revolution; thebiglie; themobrules; tinfoil; traitorslose; weartinfoildonteatit
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1 posted on 11/30/2004 7:09:11 PM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 11/30/2004 7:10:10 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Great strategy, especially considering how well the "stolen election" gambit worked out for them last time.


3 posted on 11/30/2004 7:12:13 PM PST by alnick
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To: PJ-Comix

They are even stating who they want kerry to name on his cabinet. Wesley Clark, Bev Harris, etc. Oh they are nuts.


4 posted on 11/30/2004 7:14:42 PM PST by queenkathy
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To: PJ-Comix

Oh my ROTFLOL I don't know what was funnier, their crazy comments or YOURS! And I found myself ready to highlight/copy one set of comments, only to realize they are from PJ-Comix! (They sounded so like DUers - loved the "deconsession chamber") I'm going to wet my pants from laughing!


5 posted on 11/30/2004 7:15:39 PM PST by Libertina (We praise You Lord, You have granted America a Christian leader!)
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To: PJ-Comix; dagoofyfoot

ping for later.


6 posted on 11/30/2004 7:15:46 PM PST by IllumiNaughtyByNature (I got a fever, and the only prescription is MORE COWBELLS!)
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To: alnick

Ugh. This was me four years ago. Thank God, Sean, Rush and Mark Levin I've seen the light. What a bunch of delusional MORONS.


7 posted on 11/30/2004 7:16:16 PM PST by ariamne (reformed liberal)
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To: PJ-Comix

I haven't heard much from the well known DUhers like WillPitt and IndianGreen. Have they finally realized that there is no more money they can sap from these gullible idiots?


8 posted on 11/30/2004 7:17:09 PM PST by Democratshavenobrains
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To: ariamne

Welcome to Free Republic.


9 posted on 11/30/2004 7:17:49 PM PST by alnick
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To: PJ-Comix
[Visualize, Visualize, Visualize.]


10 posted on 11/30/2004 7:18:06 PM PST by xJones
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To: PJ-Comix

Wow, these children get more pathetic every day..
I wonder if they can live through this dementia.
They really need help.


11 posted on 11/30/2004 7:18:56 PM PST by AlexW
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To: ariamne

Welcome FReeper FRiend.

Glad to have you aboard.


12 posted on 11/30/2004 7:20:04 PM PST by IllumiNaughtyByNature (I got a fever, and the only prescription is MORE COWBELLS!)
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To: ariamne
Welcome.

Tell us more about why you changed, saw the light....

13 posted on 11/30/2004 7:21:08 PM PST by TruthWillWin
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To: PJ-Comix
By getting him to enter a Deconcession Chamber for a couple of hours

An absolute Classic!! LOL

14 posted on 11/30/2004 7:25:09 PM PST by freedumb2003 (When does the Revolution start? I'm going for a bike ride for a while. Please fill me in later.)
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To: PJ-Comix

KoolAid, Koolaid, Koolaid!

THAT's what they really need!

As for them wanting us to "kiss their liberal asses"....Hell, NO!

We don't know where those asses have been!

On Inaugaral day---I will allow them to kiss MINE--in front of the SUBASENLON Main Gate (Crystal Lake Road) at high noon.

I shall personally arrange for a Navy Band to provide suitable martial music (with "Hail To The Chief" being repeated often!)with refreshments to follow. (Adult beverages for US---KoolAid for the DUmmies.)


In a magnanimous gesture, we shall arrange for a Fast Boat to take them to sea, and allow them to be impulsed to sea from #1 Torpedo Tube.

If you have any other ideas for our DUmmie friends, I'm open to suggestion.

;-)


15 posted on 11/30/2004 7:27:52 PM PST by fastattacksailor (AraFART is dead---or is he?)
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To: PJ-Comix
[There is no proof but we don’t need no stinkin’ proof!]

Right. Don't forget the overwhelming body of surmise and speculation. I can just hear their hoarse rallying cry: "Remember the ExitPolls!"


16 posted on 11/30/2004 7:29:20 PM PST by shezza (Set beeber to stune)
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To: PJ-Comix
Email, Email, Email

See this link for updates.

17 posted on 11/30/2004 7:31:19 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (Am Yisrael Chai!)
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To: PJ-Comix

they are indeed smoking a lot of SORO's brand of Weed & Crack over there.


18 posted on 11/30/2004 7:33:45 PM PST by prophetic ("I think you can be an honest person and lie about any number of things."--Dan Rather)
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To: PJ-Comix

Really what the Dummies are saying is: If enough of us throw a tantrum the we will get what we want and the truth doesn't really matter. Sounds like a bunch of spoiled children. Which is what most of the appear to be at least emotionally. Some old, some young, but all children.


19 posted on 11/30/2004 7:35:36 PM PST by KSCITYBOY
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To: ariamne

"This was me four years ago."

WOW, and this is the new you now. Just checked out your homepage, if there was ever a person to whom I wanted to say "WELCOME TO FREE REPUBLIC" it's you! From my old home state of NY too, yeeeee haaaawwwww!


20 posted on 11/30/2004 7:37:00 PM PST by jocon307 (Jihad is world wide. Jihad is serious business. We ignore global jihad at our peril.)
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