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Jeremy Clarkson suffering with 'smashed testicles' after cow 'attacked' him on farm
Mirror UK ^

Posted on 01/05/2022 12:08:35 PM PST by algore

Jeremy Clarkson has been left with a painful injury after trying to herd his cows into a barn.

The former Top Gear host, 61, bizarrely claims that one of the animals on his Diddly Squat Farm in Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire, has a vendetta against him after kicking him in his nether regions.

As a result of the cow nestling its head between Jeremy's legs, the TV personality - who showcases his farming antics on Amazon Prime show Clarkson's Farm - is nursing "smashed testicles."

Comparing the cow to famous martial arts icon Bruce Lee, Jeremy has named the strong four-legged friend after the Enter The Dragonactor and added that sustaining the sore parts has been the "lowest point" in his farming career.

He claimed to The Daily Star, that one of the herd has "an interest in killing" him before telling: "They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly.

"Having failed to connect with her hoofs, she put her head between my legs and then raised it smartly."

"I think this was the lowest point in my farming career to date. Being attacked by a cow while on my knees, in the mud, in a storm, with smashed testicles."

(Excerpt) Read more at mirror.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Heated Discussion
KEYWORDS: mangledgenitals
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To: algore

That’s just nuts.


21 posted on 01/05/2022 12:24:36 PM PST by dblshot
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To: algore

Stick to cars, Jeremy. Not cows.

I’ve never had a car try to de-ball me.


22 posted on 01/05/2022 12:24:51 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (I love my country. It's my government that I hate.)
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To: dfwgator

23 posted on 01/05/2022 12:24:57 PM PST by rlmorel (Nothing can foster principles of freedom more effectively than the imposition of tyranny.)
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To: dfwgator

24 posted on 01/05/2022 12:26:37 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: algore

Ah - that’s a shame!!!


25 posted on 01/05/2022 12:26:54 PM PST by utax
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To: algore

I have been around cows and horses my entire life.

It’s rare if I walk behind either and if necessary to walk behind them position myself if they kick they hit my leg or hip.

My wife is a horse vet. One kicked her so bad on her thigh it nearly broke it and she had black and blue spot 12 inches in diameter and she limped for 2 months.


26 posted on 01/05/2022 12:28:13 PM PST by setter
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To: algore
Too bad Elon Musk couldn't give him a kick in the nuts after Clarkson trashed Tesla. Musk sued the BBC instead.
27 posted on 01/05/2022 12:28:46 PM PST by SmokingJoe
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To: algore

Wow, the Deep State has some very CLEVER punishments.


28 posted on 01/05/2022 12:30:26 PM PST by BobL (I shop at Walmart and eat at McDonald's, I just don't tell anyone, like most here.)
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To: algore

Had an uncle kicked by a cow.

Put him in the hospital for a month.

Damn near died....................


29 posted on 01/05/2022 12:31:58 PM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: pepsi_junkie

I hope he sees your post. This WILL make it to a commercial for his beer.


30 posted on 01/05/2022 12:33:47 PM PST by Celerity
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To: Responsibility2nd
“Stick to cars, Jeremy.”

That was a fabulous show!!

31 posted on 01/05/2022 12:33:52 PM PST by lizma2
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To: setter

The backside of a cow or horse is the most dangerous place to be.

My uncle was kicked in the stomach by a cow in the 60’s when I was a kid. Damn near killed him...............


32 posted on 01/05/2022 12:34:21 PM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: algore

33 posted on 01/05/2022 12:35:50 PM PST by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: fidelis

Dumb as cows might be they have good memory of those that don’t treat them well.

Jeremy is likely to have tried something untoward as the cow seemed to have taken deliberate aim....


34 posted on 01/05/2022 12:36:50 PM PST by Covenantor (We are ruled...by liars who refuse them news, and fools who can not govern. " Chesterton)
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To: algore

he got kicked? or the cow nestled it’s head between his legs? or both? not very clear writing by author so I stopped reading.


35 posted on 01/05/2022 12:38:16 PM PST by b4me (Repeated lies does Not equal TRUTH. )
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To: Bonemaker

LOL. Cant decide if its funny the goat is so smart or the camera man is so dumb...


36 posted on 01/05/2022 12:39:57 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: algore

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


37 posted on 01/05/2022 12:41:39 PM PST by Magnetar
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To: Red Badger

“The backside of a cow or horse is the most dangerous place to be”

I have seen some bad things happen.

A few years back our local large animal vet was in a barn holding a lead shank to a cow and the cow took off around a upright beam squeezing the vet between the beam and the rope and the rope ruptured his insides and he bled out internally in a matter of a few minutes. The farmer was there and to this day has never gotten over it.

I grew up on a dairy farm and my dad instilled in us to never let our guard down around cows nom matter how docile.


38 posted on 01/05/2022 12:44:35 PM PST by setter
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To: martin_fierro; gundog

Ping-a-ling!


39 posted on 01/05/2022 12:50:44 PM PST by Delta 21 (It started as a virus, and mutated into an IQ test.)
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To: martin_fierro

Clearly a case of Mangled Genitals


40 posted on 01/05/2022 12:51:04 PM PST by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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