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Jeremy Clarkson suffering with 'smashed testicles' after cow 'attacked' him on farm
Mirror UK ^
Posted on 01/05/2022 12:08:35 PM PST by algore
Jeremy Clarkson has been left with a painful injury after trying to herd his cows into a barn.
The former Top Gear host, 61, bizarrely claims that one of the animals on his Diddly Squat Farm in Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire, has a vendetta against him after kicking him in his nether regions.
As a result of the cow nestling its head between Jeremy's legs, the TV personality - who showcases his farming antics on Amazon Prime show Clarkson's Farm - is nursing "smashed testicles."
Comparing the cow to famous martial arts icon Bruce Lee, Jeremy has named the strong four-legged friend after the Enter The Dragonactor and added that sustaining the sore parts has been the "lowest point" in his farming career.
He claimed to The Daily Star, that one of the herd has "an interest in killing" him before telling: "They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly.
"Having failed to connect with her hoofs, she put her head between my legs and then raised it smartly."
"I think this was the lowest point in my farming career to date. Being attacked by a cow while on my knees, in the mud, in a storm, with smashed testicles."
(Excerpt) Read more at mirror.co.uk ...
TOPICS: Heated Discussion
KEYWORDS: mangledgenitals
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Too nad it was not Piers Morgan
1
posted on
01/05/2022 12:08:35 PM PST
by
algore
To: algore
2
posted on
01/05/2022 12:09:18 PM PST
by
fidelis
(Ecce Crucem Domini! Fugite partes adversae! Vicit Leo de tribu Juda, Radix David! Alleluia! )
To: algore
What you did there, I see it.
3
posted on
01/05/2022 12:09:26 PM PST
by
Salamander
("Salamander has barbaric tendencies" /Gundog)
To: algore
Himmler had something similar.
4
posted on
01/05/2022 12:11:25 PM PST
by
billorites
(freepo ergo sum)
To: algore
My balls feel like a pair of maracas (oh no)
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
I probably got the
Saltlake City gonna khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-eee-ai-eee-ahhhh!
5
posted on
01/05/2022 12:12:30 PM PST
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: algore
News from next week: Clarkson's cow responding well to program put in place to end her aggression
6
posted on
01/05/2022 12:12:43 PM PST
by
pepsi_junkie
(Often wrong, but never in doubt!)
To: algore
7
posted on
01/05/2022 12:13:40 PM PST
by
matt04
( )
To: fidelis; algore
That cow has had too much range time.
8
posted on
01/05/2022 12:13:49 PM PST
by
DannyTN
To: pepsi_junkie
Old Macdonald had a cow, EIEIO
Here a Moo, there a Moo, every where a Moo Moo.
And when that cow got out of line,
Hamburger medium rare
- Elvis
9
posted on
01/05/2022 12:15:17 PM PST
by
DannyTN
To: algore
10
posted on
01/05/2022 12:15:40 PM PST
by
heavy metal
(smiling improves your face value and makes people wonder what the hell you're up to... 😁)
To: algore
11
posted on
01/05/2022 12:16:26 PM PST
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
To: algore
She wasn’t the first female to be a ball breaker!
12
posted on
01/05/2022 12:17:05 PM PST
by
july4thfreedomfoundation
(Ivermectin should be available for sale over the counter in the United States of America)
To: algore
That’s a literal kick in the balls...ouch..
13
posted on
01/05/2022 12:17:17 PM PST
by
srmanuel
(`)
To: algore
14
posted on
01/05/2022 12:18:56 PM PST
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: algore
15
posted on
01/05/2022 12:19:23 PM PST
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
To: algore
I cant help but laugh at this.
16
posted on
01/05/2022 12:21:56 PM PST
by
Intar
To: algore
17
posted on
01/05/2022 12:21:59 PM PST
by
MtnClimber
(For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
To: pepsi_junkie
18
posted on
01/05/2022 12:22:39 PM PST
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
To: algore
Who has the Mangled Genitals ping list?
19
posted on
01/05/2022 12:23:31 PM PST
by
gundog
( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
To: algore
20
posted on
01/05/2022 12:24:15 PM PST
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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