Free Republic Smokers' Lounge

Puff List ^ | 3/14/03 | francisandbeans

[Just another Joe]

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Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...

Smoker's Lounge

Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em shssh
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aaaaa,:`___________________________||`,:'.",`.;'`,:'.',`: <--------Life is good!
A very special thank you to Registered for providing us with this fine logo....we will bear it with pride.

[Sunshine Sister]

The thought of fizz up the nose does not appeal to me and thats where it would be if I tried that!

[SeaDragon]

Hey there, Joe!

Some of your finest on those special rocks, please.

It is almost vacation time............

[seeker41]

Puff, Puff and Puff......

[SeaDragon]

Go for it friend. Once you have tried the special rocks, life will never be the same again..........

[maxwell]

Hey hey, barkeep, long time no drink... Throw me the cheapest sh!t you got.

I am in a frog-stompin' mood.

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
---- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
--Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

[Slip18]

I just did. And you are right, as usual, Sea!

Are you going to be in CA on your vacation?

[Just another Joe]

There you go, Sea.
ANOTHER vacation? Man, why doesn't Greyhound go where you go?

[Slip18]

Maxie, we've all missed you!

Love the French jokes. ChIRAQ is a monkey. Brie eating surrender monkey, that is.

[Just another Joe]

For the cheapest drink in the house you'll have to join the guy in the corner.

He's got a good American name, though.

[aaaDOC]

Because you keep your special stash under the bar.

[Just another Joe]

Because you keep your special stash under the bar.

C'mon, DOC, the stash under the bar is straight out of the humidor. I just keep 'em there for convenience.

[SeaDragon]

Nope, going the other direction. Southern Caribbean

[SeaDragon]

ANOTHER vacation? Man, why doesn't Greyhound go where you go?

Well when Greyhound learns to swim it can do that.

Thank you kindly for the drink.

[Just another Joe]

They're getting' close. Just wading so far.

[Just another Joe]

Hey folks, I'll be back after a bit.
Time for a Little Kings.

[SandyEgo]

Well, I'm here to help slow it down with these (in case you've already heard all of them)...

What is the Iraqi air force motto?
........I came, I saw, Iran

Have you heard about the new Iraqi air force exercise program?......Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.

What's the five-day forecast for Baghdad? .........Two days

What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?.......... They both have Kurds in their way.

What is the best Iraqi job?.......... Foreign ambassador.

Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?.......... You only have to teach them to take off.

How do you play Iraqi bingo?.......... B-52 ... F-16 ... B-52

What is Iraq's national bird?.......... Duck.

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? ........They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats?.............. So they can see their air force.

[lockjaw02]

Howdy Joe, make mine a triple!

Barroom chat for the week:

1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

2. Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going on.

6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?

15. You read about all these terrorists-- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you're two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

[Just another Joe]

Ha Ha. I like those, Sandy. What would you like to drink?

[aaaDOC]

12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

This is actually a quote from former President Reagan.

http://www.wheretodoresearch.com/presidents/quotes.htm#Reagan

[Just another Joe]

Fraid you've got to pour your own.