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Posted on 09/04/2026 1:15:06 PM PDT by Phoenix8
PLYMOUTH, MA — After several days of deliberation, a jury was unable to ultimately decide whether murder is wrong.
The deep nuances of the case delayed the decision, with jurors facing intricate legal and moral questions such as whether it's fine to methodically strangle your own kids one by one.
"Oof. That was a toughie," said Juror number seven, reviewing the facts of the case. "There was so much to consider, like if luring children down into a basement to murder them is bad. We were really at a loss."
According to anonymous sources, the jury had concluded that squeezing the life out of a puppy while it desperately struggled to breathe was bad, but they were not yet sure if that applied to humans. "We are pretty confident that choking puppies to death is wrong," said an anonymous juror. "If they are your own children, and you're not feeling good, maybe it's okay. We just couldn't decide."
At publishing time, the jury had decided that it was best for America to do this all again in a few months.
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I thought Babylon Bee was a satire site. Did that change?
The question of whether ‘strangling kids is OK’ was not on trial or before the jury.
Sometimes The Bee is fun; but sometimes it’s just stupid.
What has changed is our culture. Now largely indistinguishable from a satirical joke.
Under the age of 14 no way. After that the jury is still out.😠
“Sometimes The Bee is fun; but sometimes it’s just stupid.”
Drawing that conclusion from reading that little piece of satire means sometimes you are stupid.
from the poorly written articles I have seen they think that only one juror wanted to convict her and the rest seemed to think that late abortion was perfectly fine.
I mean I kinda get that, I have kids, and I don’t remember ever telling them “I am responsible for bringing you into this world, and I sure as hell can take you out”
I will have to ask them if I ever did
Not satire at all. It’s a legit question.
Not exactly true. Eleven of them seem to think it is just fine and dandy.
I’m offended when something this tragic is misrepresented.
11 people out of 12 had no problem deciding. One Person refused to follow the judge’s instructions on the law because they thought they knew better how a criminal trial should be decided.
What has been missed in this trial is what is the purpose of judicial punishment via the courts up to including the death penalty. The punishment is to discourage individuals from committing crime.
I honestly do believe she is crazy. I do believe she knew right from wrong. Thus sure punishment is a deterrent even for crazy people. The first thing she said to her husband was, “I think I need a lawyer.” She was cognoscente of her crime and what she did.
Charlie Manson was crazy. He got life in prison.
They were just late term abortions. Nothing to see here.
I beg to differ. You nor I know as we do no sit on that jury. That was the opinion of the Foreman of the jury if this is to be believed. The contents of the note are not public.
We are living in 🤡🌎 for sure.
Sometimes satire is meant to highlight stupid.
If someone on medication kills this woman, should they be punished?
“11 people out of 12 had no problem deciding. One Person refused to follow the judge’s instructions on the law because they thought they knew better how a criminal trial should be decided.”
So your saying each juror doesn’t have the right to decide on their own and should just side with everybody else?
That’s not how our legal system works....and SHOULDN’T.
I read somewhere it was that way.
Ie one guy who said “heck no she killed her kids that is wrong”.
The rest wanted innocent by reason of insanity.
11....ELEVEN OF THEM THINKS So!
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