“No, the dress doesn’t make you look fat, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.”
“Are you thinking about the Roman Empire right now?”: No way. Totally locked into that anniversary dinner.
~~~
And don’t give in to the temptation to analogize which dinner guests are the romans and which are the barbarians
I love #6 especially.
1. Not remarrying. Once was enough.
2. Umm, “becoming”?....
3. No, you’re both nightmares.
9. Does this dress make my ass look big?There is no good answer. Plead the 5th immediately. If necessary, throw acid in your own face so that you are blinded and cannot see her backend.
Never complain, never explain and keep to your own council.
Q: “Does this dress make me look fat?”
A: “No, but you look better in the other dress.”
Pleading the Fifth would be inferred as a “Yes” answer, while a little white lie saves the day.
There is no way. I could not find anyo0ne even remotely close.
Wife asks husband that if she died would he remarry. He replies I don’t know but maybe. She says if you do remarry would you let her have my jewels and a list of more of her possessions. He replies probably ; what else would I do with these things. She asks is there anything of mine you would not share with a new wife. He replies yes, your golf clubs. My golf clubs she exclaims. Why ??? He replies because she is left handed.
1. A friend had a similar conversation with his wife:
she: If i died would you remarry?
him: I don’t know.
she: Don’t you like being married?
him: Sure. I probably would remarry.
she: Would you take my photos down from the wall?
him: That would be appropriate to do.
she: Would you let her use my golf clubs?
him: She can’t as she is left handed.
conversation stopped there
"No. The dress makes you look purple. Your butt makes you look fat."
don’t ask the q if you may not like the answer.
How many women did you sleep with before me?
Where did you put the butter knife I use as screwdriver?
Do you want me to give you directions to ‘X’ location?
What do you think about me cutting my log hair off into a bob?
Better advice: do not marry a woman who asks questions to which she does not want an honest answer.
How long have you had that pistol?
Old saying: A woman is a human lie detector system.
It is said they developed sensitivity to cues during evolution when males fought physically against attackers and to get food while females had to work with their available mental talents such as not trusting someone while the male was being conned.
A. E. van Vogt said males are simple creatures who desire sex and want to conquer opponents to gain ground. Females are much more complex.
“Does my butt look fat in this Burka/Dress/other garment” Always plead the 5th.
Evrey husband should have those eight questions stowed away somewhere where hopefully the wife can’t find it...
Honey, I bought a you full length slim mirror. See? You fit right in the mirror.