Posted on 12/15/2025 6:51:24 AM PST by V_TWIN
MELBOURNE — To stem the growing tide of violence against Jewish citizens, the Australian government has moved to officially ban the celebration of Hanukkah.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese made the announcement in the wake of Islamic attacks on a public Hanukkah celebration, which Albanese believes prompted the killings.
"If Jews were not celebrating Hanukkah, this tragedy could have been prevented," said Albanese. "Some people don't want to blame Hanukkah, but let me ask you: did people get shot anywhere else except at the Hanukkah celebration? No. This is all because of Hanukkah. How many lives do we have to lose because of Hanukkah before we act?"
The Prime Minister then immediately issued an order officially banning Hanukkah, menorahs, Stars of David, and "anything else those people with the hats do to cause violence."
A few Australians pushed back on the decree as an infringement of religious liberty, but to no avail. "Sounds like someone is in league with Big Hannukah," responded Prime Minister Albanese to his critics. "I think it's disgusting that people would care more about their precious little holiday than saving lives. They're probably getting paid by Israel to say that."
At publishing time, Australia had announced they would go ahead and ban all religious celebrations other than Muslim, just to be safe.
I wouldn't doubt they are actually considering this.
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They pretty much did this in Germany with Christmas
This isn’t satire.
I know 😏
Sadly.
Escaped that Bee sting, but just barely.
Instead of banning non muslim religions, I’ve got a better idea: let’s ban ISlime along with mooselimbs from planet earth.
I used to think that islam and muslims were at perpetual war with everybody everywhere.
But the Abraham Accords are making me think hard about that.
If muslim countries do actually make peace, with Israel of all countries in this case, maybe there is hope.
I know it is the comparatively enlightened elites of these countries making the peace, and that their retrograde populations disagree. But still!
We do need to reserve a space in which it is legitimate to be muslim and at peace, and reward and recognize those few muslims who arrive there. Like Redemption, people need a way to get right, or they will conclude that staying wrong is their only option.
This is very hard. My knee jerk reaction is often, “kill them all and let allah sort them out.” Which is wrong.
We have a 500 year project on our hands to defend against and yet still convert the thinking of muslims away from religiously sanctioned murder.
Tough stuff. Let’s all stay busy.
Pretty much what they’ve done in England and France.
This is no joke. Look at US campuses. They ban any speaker who is remotely conservative (or centrist for that matter) for “safety” reasons.
Well, they are talking about more gun control, similar thought process.
Usually that’s how it works.
Gee maybe banning Christmas would stop persecution?
to halt violence against Christians and Jews... God Bans Australia’s government and it’s false structures that oppose His will being done on earth.
FWIW... it wont work.
Oh! Bablylon Bee? This is getting like Youtube. How many false Ai videos are being placed?
This isn’t satire. NOPE! Just Babylon Bee!
Nazis: If we eliminate all Jews then there will be no need for anti-semitism.
Don’t give them any ideas please.
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