Posted on 07/01/2025 2:45:42 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
ATLANTA, GA — CNN is reporting that in spite of several ruthless attacks by the Trump administration, its audience is still largely intact.
The news outlet is dismissing claims of "total victory against the fake news CNN" as premature and based on faulty intelligence.
"Trump may be claiming to have dropped a so-called 'bunker-buster' on our credibility and ratings, but all early intelligence reports indicate that our audience is still mostly intact," said CNN CEO Mark Thompson. "Yep, totally still there. We definitely have tons of viewers all over the world. Nothing wrong with our audience or ratings whatsoever. Any suggestion to the contrary is misinformation."
322 officials from the intelligence community anonymously corroborated the report, anonymously claiming that CNN's ratings are "totally not in the toilet."
"If you question this report from our highly reliable anonymous sources that we totally talked to, you're a conspiracy theorist," added Thompson.
At publishing time, CNN's ratings had dropped another 32%.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
They got me this time. It is so in keeping with their grasp on reality.
Sounds a little like their definition of “mostly peaceful protests.”
“All 375 viewers present or accounted for SIR!”
At gunpoint, LOL! ;)
Bet the demos are even worse than the ratings...
Yeah, well, I’ve been around the block a time or two. ;)
And those riots were “mostly peaceful”.
CNN, when one wants to lie even more than an Imam.
LOL!! Got me too. Came back to the thread and realized it was The Bee.
” CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’”
CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’ and also have discovered the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy are real
There, fixed it
Captive audiences in airports.
Whoa! You had that covered!
That’s always the first thing that comes to mind, LOL! :)
Both of them?
Yep, both of ‘em!
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