Are Your Kids Possessed By Demons Or Just Normal Toddlers? How To Tell The Difference

The Bee ^ | Apr 30, 2025 | The Bee

[dayglored]

You wake up in the middle of the night to discover a toddler has silently been staring at you for the last hour. Is it your normal child... or is it a demon? Parents have struggled with this question for thousands of years. That's why we've consulted the brightest toddler scientists to answer the age-old question: is your kid demon-possessed or just a typical toddler?

• Normal Toddler: Their head spins clockwise like a top as they projectile vomit across the room.
• Demon-Possessed: Head spins counterclockwise.

• Normal Toddler: Screams in an unintelligible language while writhing on the floor.
• Demon-Possessed: Same, but sounds kind of Latin.

• Normal Toddler: Levitates when denied screen time.
• Demon-Possessed: Levitates when denied chance to watch The View.

• Normal Toddler: Masquerades in front of others as angel of light.
• Demon-Possessed: Same.

• Normal Toddler: Yells any known obscenities in church or other holy places
• Demon-Possessed: Can also yell obscenities in French!

• Normal Toddler: Tempts you to drink.
• Demon-Possessed: Just made you an Old Fashioned.

• Normal Toddler: Can speak perfect Latin (home-schooled).
• Demon-Possessed: Can speak perfect Latin (but not home-schooled).

• Normal Toddler: Leaves footprints on the ceiling, somehow.
• Demon-Possessed: Walks on ceiling but no footprints.

• Normal Toddler: Loves Bluey.
• Demon-Possessed: Hates Bluey. (SEEK EXORCIST IMMEDIATELY)

Wow! Pretty hard to tell apart. We think we'll go home and put on some Bluey.

[Norski]

” . . Same, but sounds kind of Latin. . . .” . . .

C-3PO Crashes a Pentecostal Revival 6:20

By Lutheran Satire Channel (Cartoon)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhGH4HaylaU

” . . .It’s great that C-3PO knows over six million languages. It’s less great when he buzzkills your Pentecostal revival by saying all the languages you’re speaking are fake.

And yes, sorry, 1 Corinthians 13, not 14. My apologies. Or, as they say in Pentecostalism, twa bravintisha.. . . “

“Yeah, pretty sure you’ve got a demon there, Darryl.”