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Federal Judge Appoints Himself President
The Babylon Bee ^ | 3-14-2025 | Bee Staff

Posted on 03/14/2025 11:52:16 AM PDT by servo1969

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The Trump Administration agenda was stopped in its tracks this week after a federal judge appointed himself the new President of the United States.

"There's nothing we can do," said legal experts. "He's a federal judge."

Sources confirmed that Judge Mortimer Dithers of the Northern District of California granted himself all the powers of the executive branch in an emergency move to stop Trump. "Last night, the Constitution appeared to me in a dream and told me to do this," said Judge Dithers. "You can't argue with that. Also, my word is on this is law because I'm a federal judge."

President Judge Dithers has already issued several executive actions, including orders for Tesla to stop making cars, Elon Musk to punch himself in the face, and Trump to not move his head next time someone shoots at him. "This is the bidding of your new leader," said Judge Dithers. "So let it be done, by the order of your new Federal Judge President."

Trump later responded to the ruling on Truth Social by accusing the judge of "looking like a potato."

At publishing time, Judge Dithers had been unseated as President by a higher court judge who declared himself President instead.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; judge; musk; ndcalifornia; president; satire; tesla; trump

1 posted on 03/14/2025 11:52:16 AM PDT by servo1969
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To: servo1969

Don’t give these judges any ideas! LOL


2 posted on 03/14/2025 11:55:53 AM PDT by txnativegop (The political left, Mankinds intellectual and political hemlock)
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To: txnativegop

OMG! That is too funny!


3 posted on 03/14/2025 11:58:07 AM PDT by jackibutterfly ( )
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To: servo1969

Again, I’m wondering if these TROs from low level regional judges who are saying they apply nationally and permanently, are the issuing of these a recent phenomenon or has it been this way since the 1790s? I don’t recall seeing news of them like today when I was a kid 50 Years ago. How is it that these orders have not been litigated at the highest levels? Are the Supremes ducking their responsibility? Or is our system fatally flawed and only works when everyone behaves honorably?


4 posted on 03/14/2025 12:02:22 PM PDT by desertsolitaire ( Lee Harvey Oswald and the Bands final performance)
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To: servo1969

Previously posted but worth repeating.


5 posted on 03/14/2025 12:10:13 PM PDT by sjmjax
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To: sjmjax

I searched but nothing came up.


6 posted on 03/14/2025 12:13:04 PM PDT by servo1969
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To: txnativegop

They already are. They are constantly over rulling the president.


7 posted on 03/14/2025 12:40:09 PM PDT by cableguymn (They don't want peace they want skeletons )
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To: servo1969

“Judge Mortimer Dithers”


8 posted on 03/14/2025 1:25:26 PM PDT by FroggyTheGremlim (Hail to Pitt!)
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To: servo1969
President Judge Dithers has already issued several executive actions, including orders for Tesla to stop making cars, Elon Musk to punch himself in the face, and Trump to not move his head next time someone shoots at him.

I know it's The Bee, but... it's not too farfetched either.

9 posted on 03/14/2025 1:35:01 PM PDT by Rummyfan ( In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man.)
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To: desertsolitaire

I think it’s becoming more prevalent that one side or the other simply will not accept anything they don’t like. More often than not, it’s the left refusing to accept anything other than what they want, everything they want, and absolutely nothing they don’t want. And they won’t give up until they’ve tried everything they can. Imagine if Moses had to go back to Jethro and say “I tried your suggestion but no one respects the judge’s decisions. They all want me to decide in their favor.”


10 posted on 03/15/2025 9:01:42 PM PDT by utahb52
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