Posted on 07/13/2024 8:58:29 AM PDT by null and void
Biden's Little Helper
The Gaffing Stoned
What a drag it is getting old
"He is different today," I hear every voter say
Biden needs something today to keep him up
And though he's not really ill, there's a little yellow pill
He goes running for the shelter of his brain’s little helper
And it helps him on the campaign trail, he can talk through the day
Doctor, please, some more of these
Outside the door, he took four more
What a drag it is getting old
"Voters aren't the same today," I hear Jill Biden say
They just don't appreciate that he gets tired
They're so hard to satisfy, you can perk up your mind
So go running for the shelter of Joe Biden's little helper
And four help him through the day, help to minimize his plight
Doctor, please, some more of these
Outside the door, he took four more
What a drag it is getting old
"Daylight’s just much too long today," I hear Jill Biden say
The pursuit of power’s just a draining chore
And if he takes more of those, he will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a geriatric little helper
They just helped him on our way, through his busy dying day
Needs some polishing, feel free to pitch in!
Great parody!
Very good!
I’ve wanted to do parody lyrics for “Locomotive Breath” because old Jilly’s stole the handle and the train just won’t slow down...
“Bidey Bo!”
DO IT!
OK I did!
In the shuffling madness
Of Joe Biden’s last campaign
Runs the all-time loser
Whispering “I still can win!”
Oh, he feels the pressure building
Sweat breaking on his brow
Old Jilly stole the handle
And the train it won’t stop
Oh no way to slow down
He sees the media jump off
At the stations one by one
Obama and his best friends
Laughing and poking fun
Oh, he’s crawling down the corridor
On his hands and knees
Old Jilly stole the handle
And the train it won’t stop going
No way to slow down
Hey
He hears the silence howling
Poll numbers as they fall
And the all-time winner
Trump’s got him by the balls
Oh, he picks up todays Times
Open at page one
And thinks God he stole the handle
And the train it won’t stop going
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
No way to slow down
Excellent!
What say you, Salamander?
Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone home?
Come on now
I hear you’re feeling tired
Well, I can pep you up
And get you on your feet again
Wake Up!
You gotta stand for ninety minutes
But don’t be afraid, the
Podium will hold you up.
Just be sure you keep repeating
“Convicted Felon”, “He is Cheating”
He’s a Fascist, He is Hitler!
First You shout it, then, your creepy Whisper.
Don’t mention golf or you will be in trouble
You can’t win even if your handicap is double.
And even if the moderator’s willing
Don’t mention that your diaper may be filling.
This is not how you became.
You’ve always been dismally dumb.
You’ve always been dismally dumb.
Okay
Just a little pinprick
There’ll be no more
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working, good
That’ll keep you going through the show
Come on, it’s time to go
While you may now be geriatric
Corruption has always been your schtick
You stole speeches, and the donors kept on paying
Your lips move, but no one knows what you’re saying
I don’t think you know what you said either.
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look, and there was Dr. Jill
Clutching your next round of pills
But I don’t think they can help you now.
You’ve always been dismally dumb.
Perfection.
Knock, knock!
It’s me, Joe!
Joe’s not here!
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