But we all know what's really going on in the lab...
Posted on 06/21/2024 2:49:31 PM PDT by COBOL2Java
ALBUQUERQUE, NM — Planning for the President's much-anticipated faceoff with Donald Trump began in earnest this week, as a group of the world's top scientists convened in a secret lab to develop the perfect drug cocktail for Joe Biden to make it through a one-hour debate.
The lab, reportedly located deep underground beneath an unsuspecting industrial laundromat, was tasked with concocting a substance that would be strong enough to help the president maintain some semblance of alertness and cognitive focus for his debate with Trump.
"We've got our brightest minds working on this," said one inside source who asked to remain anonymous. "Keeping Biden coherent and intelligible for an entire hour seems like an impossible task, but we have no choice but to come up with some pharmaceutical combination that will give him a fighting chance."
Thus far, the team of leading scientists and chemists have tested a number of drug cocktails on President Biden, with varying results. "There have been a few promising ones, but nothing completely effective," the source disclosed. "They usually start off well but wear off too quickly. Our last attempt kept him alert for 20 minutes before he started trying to eat the podium microphone. We'll keep trying."
Administration insiders admitted that it may be difficult to keep Biden in good condition for the debate without making it obvious that he was pumped full of highly illegal chemical compounds.
At publishing time, the Trump team had reportedly begun work on a list of great nicknames for Joe Biden.
Still think it will be canceled or it will go awry.
Trying to develop a pill for stupid?
Biden’s people have already casually mentioned that he will have his favorite drink, Orange Gatorade, on the podium. Guaranteed his pre-debate cocktail is dehydrating and requires lots of electrolytes. There may also be extra “Anti-Zombie Juice” in the bottle just to keep him topped off. I thought both debaters were supposed to have water.
Did they agree to a sit-down debate? How do you juice Joe up to debate, and keep him sitting still for that long?
But we all know what's really going on in the lab...
Perhaps a Biden impersonator will talk for him through a smartphone in his pocket or a microspeaker embedded in his dentures, or the podium. That will get really odd if Joe naps out or wanders off the stage.
It’s strange that Dems, other than Biden cronies that feed at his trough, probably want Biden to bomb at this “debate” and drop out of the race before their convention. If that transpires, the scramble is going to be red in tooth and claw.
They could go through the old medical records of Adolph—the guy was propped up with a bizarre mix of drug cocktails.
No matter what the scientists drug cocktail come up with it won’t stop Trump from triggering Biden into a eyebrow lifting yelling spasm.
His shock collar will be going on a lot.
Joe always has an arm full of someth’n
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.