Posted on 06/09/2024 4:09:56 PM PDT by Jim Robinson
I don't remember when I got old, it just happened. One day I turned around and discovered I was an old man. Thinking back on it I think it was after my wife died. When Sheila died it took all the wind out of my sails. I'm now adrift, without rudder, without anchor and without a North Star. The bilge water is creeping up and threatening to put the fires out for good.
If you've ever experienced being dead in the water in the middle of an ocean, that's how I'm feeling right now. It's a surreal feeling.
'O God, thy sea is so great and my boat is so small.'
(((((Love and Prayers)))))
1. “You Raise Me Up”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyEokxi2hWY
2. “The Impossible Dream - Ed Ames”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbrqrpESDSk
3.The Prayer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18QjfHoZeH8
4. ***It Is Well With My Soul - Wintley Phipps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8HffdyLd0c
QUOTE: “God taught me to say: “In the quiet crucible of your personal private suffering, that your nobelist dreams are born: that God’s greatest gifts are given in compensation for what you’ve been through.”- Wintley Phipps
you lose brothers...you lose friends...you wish you had been closer to so many people... you wish you made more money when you were working...regrets about this and about that....
but we shrug our shoulders and move on...
it is what it is....
I agree…..lost another friend in March…..there now is no one left to share old memories with…I am 91. ,
..
Been there more than once, hurts each time and never gets easier. It is hard as hell to pick up the pieces, put them back together and keep moving.
Praying for you Jim.
It kind of jumps out from behind a tree.
It kind of jumps out from behind a tree.
Jim,
I hear ya. It came for me. Im 56. Desk jocky engineer.
I now have pain, in places i never knew i had. Physically and mentally!
I figure since i can still get around my body can adapt and benefit from exercise to keep the baseline level of activity possible. As I increase my activity my body and mind should positively respond.
I have a log house to build. If I do it right it should last for centuries...for my kids and their kids. Noah Bradley.... Handmadehouses.com
I also have a two new companies to start.
Never give up goals and the desire to experience all the Lord has created - not just children and spouses. He is much deeper than all that. :) Love you Brother. There is no try, only DO!
The PLAN was for us to live forever with God in the Garden of Eden. He even warned Adam and Eve that sin would bring death.
BUT - as your post alludes to - that death is by the grace of God. Can you imagine having to live FOREVER in this fallen world separated from God, living with evil people, deteriorating bodies, etc. So yes - we WILL thank God for our deaths, but also the good things in our lives. And most of all thanks for the redeeming salvation He provided in the death and resurrection of His only son Jesus Christ.
Hey Jim,
This won’t take that long. End result? You’ll be back in the game. We’re all getting older - life is more important than anything.
To do what you must, what you can, what is important. The G-D/heaven thing would get us off tangent.
A slight problem I suffer from, tangents. I think its an OCD thing. Other than that I’m perfectly sane except I think the world has gone completely crazy so its kind of a toss-up but I’m going with I’m sane.
We’ve talked. I lurked for a couple of years during X42s admin - I knew about the death lists and didn’t want to be on one.
But Bush/Gore came up and I registered with FR. Screw it these DEMS are stealing the election in Florida, my state since 1993.
In about 1989, a friend I played racquetball with, we’ll call him Doug, in San Diego, told me I should listen to this guy named Rush.
I did. On the radio for 3 hours, on his late night shows from then to the end. Always had a wired single earbud - a Sony Walkman, AM/FM weather and even TV audio for a while. Had lots of them.
A major lib whackjob client would ask me what I was listening to? “Just tunes, traffic and the news” ... he didn’t know what he was paying for. ;-)
Since then I’ve been political. Rush from every year on until the last.
FreeRepublic from whenever (11/17/2000) but I was well-informed about Whitewater, Hillary, Bimbo eruptions, Travelgate AND more important than anything, the Loral tech assistance to get the Chinese rockets off the ground complete with MIRV technology (Thanks Ron, sorry you were expendable) in advance shall we say. Sorry MSM it wasn’t about sex with Monica but they obscured the true damage to our security, shall we say. That was Bill’s impeachment that was ignored. All about sex.
You are a treasure of American Freedom Fighters. Jeez a Viet Nam vet, disabled with unspeakable difficulties and the loss of your wife. I cannot even imagine it.
Another thing I cannot imagine is you giving up after all you have given us, after all you given to America.
I do not know of your current difficulties but I do know that FR is my home page since forever. You put all this out there.
Don’t stop but you could all do us a favor. Just look up FreeRepublic on Wikipedia. Sorry no JimRob there. We should fix that. ;-)
Read what they say and just write down things in your spare time, you’d add and things you disagree with. They want editing. Give us your autobiography - you know the facts and have the data! Lots of crap in there and lots missing!
Read it and I think a new fire will be lit in your soul.
Just send your thoughts to Nully and he’ll pass them out to edit things on Wiki. Right Nully? ;-)
And now is the time we need you. The 2020 election was stolen and our country is being run by a cabal that writes the things that Biden reads off the TelePrompTer. And then its US Policy. Biden said ...
I do not see anything that has changed to prevent the theft of the 2024 Presidential election.
Polls keep it “tight”, you got your Always-Dems, NeverTrumpers, women who complain he said “pu$$y” even though as a Billionaire I can bet he was hit on by thousands of beauties (not sure I’d have had the resolve - except dammit I have - women throwing themselves at me but for 44 years my gold wedding ring is untarnished ;-) the Uniparty, the miltary industrial complex, the lobbyists, the TDS crowd - complete nuts and a huge percentage of them are in the Lamestream media.
Propaganda from every media outlet, even Fox. They kinda missed the Fauci/Wuhan/safe & effective story among others.
We won’t have four more years. MAGA now or never.
While I considered a private post I’m going here. I’m saying don’t give up, be strong, we need you.
Oh, and I was checking the FR front page to see what might be different, whatever. Turns out I’ve got your number.
Let’s talk. Like I said, now more than ever we need you.
If you think WTF - read it again. please.
Call anytime. You have my number. Welcome back to the fight.
All our best from FReeperville.
Love,
TH54
I just turned 66 and I’m in lousy health. I always had a large voice and did everything from preach to teach to broadcast with it, and five years ago, it left for good. I can’t even be heard above a whisper. Chronic esophagitis.
Heart condition, bad lungs, troubles all around. My doc says, “There’s just so much wrong with him.” I’ve developed allergies and reactions to all kinds of foods.
But I can see, hear, and walk. And there will be a day that Jesus calls and I will depart, gladly desiring to see what’s on the other side. And I assure you, I didn’t get ripped off here. Not a single bit.
As long as you are safe in the loving forgiveness and eternal security of your soul through Jesus, the Christ...live as purposefully as possible, utilizing all physical and medical help as desired.
God bless you.
I emailed my relatives last year when I signed up for medicare etc as seen below.
Some days I feel old and some joints make popping noises and I feel the aches and pains I never did before.
Yet I still look marvelous : )
I used my medicare card last May for the first time. It was an odd feeling. Will they take it? Yep.
I signed up for supplemental medicare.
Here is what I got. I went thru Boomer Benefits https://boomerbenefits.com and called an agent.
Anthem Blue Cross - Part G medical = $158.46
Mutual of Omaha - dentist = $31.82
Wellcare Part D drugs = $8.30
Medicare Part A & B = $174.70
Grand Total = $373.28 a month.
Part B deductible = $226.00
Drug deductible = $505.00
Once again you’ve shared a place you’re at and the rest of us dig into our souls and start to connect. Yes, you’re getting old and that’s depressing. Can we all face up to that? That we’re getting old too? Are we with you once again? Yes we are.
The new feeling of being lost at sea and maybe not caring as much as we once did to fight our way back is scary. We have to face it. Share it. Reel in the pain and reach out to each other. The awareness of loss - we all have a Sheila - sometimes “Sheila” is a mother, a father, an old friend or our partner in love and marriage and children and grandchildren - our love who has died and left us here - adrift.
It’s good to reflect on this loss - for you and for all of us... and to reach out to each other for guidance, maps and charts. Thanks again for allowing us to face this with you and yes, you’re in my prayers... and we’ll overcome this...
Dear Jim,
The same thing happened to my father when my mother passed away. They were married over 55 years and were each other’s lifeline and purpose. The fire went out of him and it wasn’t until my sister moved him in with her and he was around his adoring grandchildren did he find his purpose again. Even though his body was weak, his mind was strong and he had lots of wisdom and stories to share.
When we fight, we fight against pain, age, tyranny, injustice not just for the fight’s sake, we fight for someone.
I get up everyday and muscle through (or, occasionally, muddle through) for my husband and kids. They still want me in this world and, looking around, still need me in this world.
Ask yourself, Jim, who still needs you? If you were in the fox hole, who would you be fighting for? Kids, grandchildren, friends, who? Who ever those people are, spend more time around them.
Depression is a real thing and it sounds like you are depressed. It is a perfectly natural response to the life events you have been through; you are certainly not alone. Aside from the daily loneliness, it’s a complete adjustment to your daily routine. Please consider a support group for others in your situation. Men tend to hold things in...it’s in your DNA to be strong and just endure. I’m telling you it’s okay to let things out.
More importantly, it’s okay to laugh again, to experience joy again, to live again. You are here because God still has things in store for you.
You can find renewed purpose together.
Praying for you, my friend.
Thank you all very much For your prayers and support. I just would like to let everyone know that I’m not depressed i’m not suicidal i’m not think of quitting and I’m not going anywhere. I was just laying here yesterday afternoon thinking how nice would be if I could drive over to my girlfriend’s house. but heck I can’t even get out of bed By myself. Then I start thinking when did this happen how how is it that got so old I can’t even get out of bed.
Those moments of clarity are sobering, luckily few and far between.
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