Posted on 06/08/2024 6:47:08 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
WASHINGTON, DC — In a little-publicized move, the Biden Administration recently recruited a former NASCAR pit crew to make lightning-fast changes to the President's diaper whenever he soils his pants.
The scheme was first revealed after NASCAR crew leaders began to be bombarded with ads seeking a "Race Car Pit Crew That Can Also Change Diapers." The ads specified that the crew would have to be able to change a diaper within 3.4 seconds, or "fast enough that nobody can notice it."
"We initially responded to the ads and were asked to come try out," said Brandon Keyes, rear changer for the Josh Biggles Racing Pit Crew. "Then I found out that my job as Rear Changer was about to get a whole lot harder. We finished in about 4.3 seconds, which was a good switch, but then they told us that we weren't diverse enough, and asked if we'd be okay with adding a transwoman of color as our front-changer. I'd rather just stick with the cars."
While most pit crew teams allegedly decided to stay with their jobs at NASCAR, one unique team decided to step up to the challenge. Members of the team have reportedly been called to diaper-changing duty almost continuously for the last 23 hours and are collapsing from exhaustion and permanent nose damage.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I love the Bee, always gives me a chuckle.
NAP-CAR
“Rumor is, the Secret Service refused the duty.”
Rumor is, the Secret Service refused the dooty.
There .. . I fixed it .. .
The White House is going to have to buy some Diaper Geniez
His Secret Service code name is “Bidet”.
Nice jack work Ricky.
Centuries from now as what is left of humanity emerges from the rubble, historians will sadly reflect upon the start of WWIII when Biden’s military aid blurted out, “Incoming! I see BM!”
Full face shields are a must. Highly recommend a mask. From what I’m told, that keeps out everything.
They can use the drink cup pole to extend a vanilla cone to him.
I stand corrected!
Should have gone with the Red Bull F1 pit crew, they would have changed Biden’s nappy in 2.1 seconds.
Truth combined with humor.
Well at least now we know where the 6-foot social distancing came from.
(((PING)))
that’s why “dr” jill goes everywhere with him.
I asked here month ago if he had such a diaper change crew.
Better wear HAZ-MAT suits around shit-for-brains Bidet&Co!
And an SCBA as well.
“They can use the drink cup pole to extend a vanilla cone to him.”
NASCAR pit crews pass drinks by hand.
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