Posted on 02/13/2024 7:21:59 AM PST by OneVike
This is a light hearted post to make you think. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you don't know. Take the American English language for instance. It is without a doubt the most confusing language on the planet. Ask anyone from around the world and they will tell you that the American English language is one of the most difficult to grasp and comprehend. When I consider how difficult it can be to understand our language, I am reminded of Albert Einstein, who just happened to be one of the most intelligent men to have ever lived. Well this is what he had to say about,
Well, let s take a look at the reasons American English is probably the most difficult language to master.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
21) The plural of mouse is mice. The plural of house is ....? The plural of spouse is ....?
22) We eat what we can and what we can't, we can.
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese? So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this. There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.
It's easy to understand UP meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP . One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP for now my time is UP, so ... it is time to shut UP !
My last words on this some food for thought.
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
is reverse shoulder replacement the same as having your shoulder removed?
in keeping with the perplexity of the English Languish.
get better.
t
Okay. I suspect someone who goes through all that NEEDS a break from FR!
Good luck, hope you recover soon.
Hey, good luck with your shoulder recovery. My hairdresser had to have a shoulder replacement surgery last summer, but she was back at work and better than ever a couple of months later, no small feat. She was highly motivated to do the physical therapy, and I think we can say now that her surgery was a complete success. I hope and pray for the same for you.
Oh yes, it is :-)
I can warmly recommend learning Old English first (i.e. English as it was before 1066), and you will feel very much at home in modern German. ;-)
Old English and Old Low German were so close as to be mutually intelligible.
Even if you speak Old High German, you will be able to understand much of Old English and vice versa.
This is true:)
If I remember correctly, German shares the ability to form very long compound nouns with Chinese, which is not possible in most other languages.
There are a few other grammatical similarities between both languages, which is amazing, since they are not in any way related...
Very sorry to hear about your tribulations.
I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery and, of course His rich blessings for you and your dear ones :-)
You’re one up on all of us. It’s an uphill battle sorting it all out. I’ll going to remain upbeat through it all.
Good luck with your recovery.
Did you ever read Mark Twain’s passage on German ? Hysterically funny.
Yes, sir, I have read the book, and just like this passage, it really is outrageously funny. Thank you for linking it so that anyone interested, including myself, can read it again😀
This really is such an enjoyable discussion, especially since I minored in linguistics at university, back then when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. To this day, I have a huge interest in everything pertaining to languages.🙂
That is a great strength of the English language: being able to express very subtle nuances.
And Mr. Yardstick was right to say that most of the shorter words in English have Germanic roots.
Churchill‘s famous speech „we shall fight on the beaches“, for example, is a fine example of an English text in which many monosyllabic, impactful words are deployed though this is, contrary to what I‘ve read somewhere, not intentional, but a coincidence.
He was a masterful orator, taking great care over his speeches, writing and arranging them in poetical form to define the rhythm and tone of their delivery.
I absolutely agree.
It is relatively easy to get a working knowledge of English, yes, but as your learning advances, it gets more and more difficult.
The richness and fine nuances of English vocabulary are one, the orthography is another difficult matter, as well as the highly sophisticated system of tenses which the English language has at its disposal, present, past, future, progressive, simple…and on and on. An extremely intricate, complex system indeed. Admirably so but easy…not so much 😀
Me too. Especially Ancient Ones. Took Ancient Greek in College and Latin in High School. Struggling with hieroglyphs. Had German in college and Spanish in High Scool zlso.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
That is really great😀
I sudied history with minors in English (incl. Medieval English) and geography, intending to become a professor - but the boots were a bit too big for men, and the fact that I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism (though not until later in my life) didn‘t help my academic career either😉
So you studied Spanish, too, unfortunately I have very little skill in it. French, Latin and Italian are easier for men, and I wish I had taken Ancient Greek at my school. At the moment I‘m trying to learn a bit of Polish- Poland is Germany‘s second biggest and most important neighbor after all, just after France🙂
❤❤👍🏻👍🏻
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.