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So You Think The English Language Is Easy?
The Reason For My Faith ^ | 2/13/24 | Chuck Ness

Posted on 02/13/2024 7:21:59 AM PST by OneVike

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This is a light hearted post to make you think. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you don't know. Take the American English language for instance. It is without a doubt the most confusing language on the planet. Ask anyone from around the world and they will tell you that the American English language is one of the most difficult to grasp and comprehend.  When I consider how difficult it can be to understand our language, I am reminded of Albert Einstein, who just happened to be one of the most intelligent men to have ever lived. Well this is what he had to say about,

"If you can speak three languages you’re trilingual. If you can speak two languages you’re bilingual. If you can speak only one language you’re an American, and that in and of itself is an amazing accomplishment that even Americans have yet master. "

Well, let s take a look at the reasons American English is probably the most difficult language to master.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

21) The plural of mouse is mice. The plural of house is ....? The plural of spouse is ....?

22) We eat what we can and what we can't, we can.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese? So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this. There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.

It's easy to understand UP meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP . One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP for now my time is UP, so ... it is time to shut UP !

My last words on this some food for thought.

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Chit/Chat; Education; Humor
KEYWORDS: americaenglish; english; epigraphyandlanguage; godsgravesglyphs; language; peculiarities
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To: Bob434

I love that scene!


21 posted on 02/13/2024 8:00:29 AM PST by fireman15 (Irritating people are the grit from which we fashion our pearl. I provide the grit. You're Welcome.)
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To: Myrddin

It is a rather harsh sentence.


22 posted on 02/13/2024 8:05:00 AM PST by going hot (Happiness is a Momma Deuce)
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To: OneVike

English is derived from many languages.

An Italian word quite often has an English counterpart.

A German word quite often has an English counterpart.

This makes it fairly easy for foreigners to speak English.

I can read German, Spanish and French fairly well, but I can’t speak them to a standard that a German, Spainard or Frenchwoman would find acceptable.


23 posted on 02/13/2024 8:08:49 AM PST by Brian Griffin
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To: Myrddin

femme [wife, woman]

The word makes life for a philandering Frenchman easy.


24 posted on 02/13/2024 8:10:46 AM PST by Brian Griffin
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To: OneVike
You wrote that? It's very good. Quite clever.

And yes, English is a mess. Much of this is caused by it being an amalgam of a lot of other languages that have different structures and usages of their words.

I find the history of English interesting, and often watch videos on the topic. "Rob Words" has several very good videos about how quirky English is.

25 posted on 02/13/2024 8:15:59 AM PST by DiogenesLamp ("of parents owing allegiance to no other sovereignty.")
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To: OneVike

Bookmark


26 posted on 02/13/2024 8:18:40 AM PST by Southside_Chicago_Republican (The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. )
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To: DiogenesLamp

No I did not. it has been in a file for almost 10 years. I did add the list to it, and some to thee content at the beginning, but I did not write it.


27 posted on 02/13/2024 8:21:45 AM PST by OneVike ( Just another Christian waiting to go homeu)
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To: gundog

I miss living in a world where I didn’t have to press 1 for English.


28 posted on 02/13/2024 8:23:50 AM PST by Salamander (Please visit my profile page help save my beloved dog's life. https://www.givesendgo.com/G2FUF.)
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To: OneVike

No. Its rather hard. BUT it has a highly expansive vocabulary and allows nuances of meaning not presentbin most other languages and its structurally adapted to more easily incorporate words from other languages.


29 posted on 02/13/2024 8:31:18 AM PST by ZULU (DUMP RONA ROMNEY MCDANIELS!!!)
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To: OneVike

Only in English can you pare a pair of pears.


30 posted on 02/13/2024 8:33:34 AM PST by MeganC (Ruzzians aren't people. )
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To: OneVike
Gallagher and The English language
31 posted on 02/13/2024 8:34:28 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (The Truth is like a lion. You don't need to defend it. Let it loose and it will defend itself.)
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To: OneVike

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary
— James Nicoll, rec.arts.sf-lovers


32 posted on 02/13/2024 8:41:18 AM PST by dagunk
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To: teeman8r
A writer of English is like a painter with a massive palette.
33 posted on 02/13/2024 8:41:24 AM PST by Jeff Chandler (THE ISSUE IS NEVER THE ISSUE. THE REVOLUTION IS THE ISSUE.)
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To: OneVike

“All the faith he had had had had no effect on the outcome of his life.”


34 posted on 02/13/2024 8:45:34 AM PST by 10mm
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To: oldasrocks
That's true. I went in for Japanese in grad school and had a friend studying Mandarin. He once got embarrassed when he said he wanted to "ask" a question of his (attractive) instructor. But his inflection on the word meant "kiss". She "asked" him to clarify.

But at least each meaning is represented with a different character. So memorize a couple, maybe three, thousand characters and you're good. /s

35 posted on 02/13/2024 8:49:21 AM PST by katana
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To: Salamander

https://www.oregon.gov/languages/Pages/state-voter-pamphlet-languages.aspx


36 posted on 02/13/2024 8:56:56 AM PST by gundog ( It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: Bob434

Events are sanctioned (good)

people and entities are sanctioned (bad)


37 posted on 02/13/2024 8:58:18 AM PST by one guy in new jersey
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To: OneVike

This is too new. I am still reflecting on the victory by the Kansas City Chieves.


38 posted on 02/13/2024 9:01:35 AM PST by Dr. Sivana ("If you can’t say something nice . . . say the Rosary." [Red Badger])
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To: ZULU

Yet we have only one word for some certain things, like snow. Our heavily-used word “love” should but often doesn’t end up encompassing the highest form thereof, that being “charity”.


39 posted on 02/13/2024 9:03:57 AM PST by one guy in new jersey
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To: katana

How did he clarify-—by giving her a big smooch?


40 posted on 02/13/2024 9:05:06 AM PST by one guy in new jersey
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