Posted on 01/31/2024 10:25:32 AM PST by Navy Patriot
SACRAMENTO, CA — With a landmark piece of legislation, the state of California became the first state in the nation to ban heterosexual marriage.
The historic law, which effectively makes it illegal for a man and woman to be joined in holy matrimony, now defines marriage as a union between anyone other than a male and a female.
"This is a day that will be remembered forever," said Governor Gavin Newsom in a statement celebrating the ban. "The last vestiges of oppressive normalcy are gone, and we can all be gay as Satan intended."
The law was met with celebration by everyone still living in California, as they were all gay already.
Critics accused the new ban of being overtly discriminatory, largely due to the fact that it discriminates against heterosexuals. Newsom was quick to deny the criticism. "Totally not true," he said. "Heterosexuality was invented by white colonizers to force people out of their natural gay state. Everyone who went to college at one of our prestigious universities should know that."
At publishing time, lawmakers in California were reportedly setting their sights on passing new legislation that would remove children from heterosexual parents and send them to live with 50-year-old drag queens.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
It’s about time. Do you realize how many people are the product of heterosexual relationships? I was amazed.
Bob Hope, touring the world in the year or so after the passage of the 1975 Consenting Adult Sex Bill:
“I’ve just flown in from California, where they’ve made homosexuality legal. I thought I’d get out before they make it compulsory.”
I’m surprised the Bee didn’t say that all grooming and bathing supplies for women are hereby banned so the chemicals can be used for the California men’s excessive grooming needs. LOL
Bob Hope had the right idea with regards to getting out of California.
In other news CA now requires all men to become women and all women to become men.
The operations and drugs will be taxpayer funded—and all who refuse their “mandatory health care” will be dragged off into re-education camps.
:-(
Heterosexual marriage has been illegal in every state since the 1970s,but people seem happy with the substitute, which is gay marriage for straight people.
A very sad part of the prescient satire is that many hetero’s ban their own marriages in today’s world...I think the divorce rate among USA hetero’s is close to 50%....
Your comment on the divorce rate is important and reflects the values of our society.
Considering the fact that the name of the Sacramento newspaper is “the Bee”, this post could easily fool a lot of people.
Too much truth in the Bee’s pieces.
Jesus, now. Please.......
The Sacramento Bee is GloboHomo Disinformation Propaganda unrelated to the accurate future news source I referenced.
Is a little humor worth the risk of giving them new ideas?
I could have GUESSED IT! ..... The BEE!
The Radical Socialist idea of banning heterosexual marriage is not new, it predates The Bee considerably.
Brings to mind the quip by Bob Hope decades ago.
After getting off an airplane he said: “California has just legalized homosexuality.”
“I’m getting out before it becomes mandatory.”
That is the way I remember it.
Oddly enough, CA passed a popular referendum and a constitutional amendment that recognized marriage as the sole union between a man and woman.
Scotus shot down both.
Evil triumphed by Fiat and Force.
No matter how it’s told, Bob Hope was a Great Man.
You laugh now...!
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