Posted on 01/05/2024 8:43:14 AM PST by Red Badger
Florida man has some serious competition out there from Bama man.
This dude in Leeds, Alabama crashed his truck into a light pole outside of a Bass Pro Shop last night and did the next logical thing.
He stripped, ran inside the store, and did a cannonball right into the giant aquarium.
Police Chief Paul Irwin said the incident happened about near closing time.
(You can tell this story happened in Alabama because the website covering it used the phrase "about near" when referencing a statement from the police.)
Apparently, there's video of the incident. I haven't found it yet (and honestly, I'm kind of relieved) but I can nearly guarantee you this man shouted "ROLLLLLL TIDE!" at the top of his lungs as he dove into the tank.
The man swam around until police showed up. Then he started yelling something at them, climbed on the waterfall, jumped in again, and kept yelling something at the police they couldn't understand.
As police started to climb the stairs to get to the top of the aquarium, the man tried to climb out of the fish tank on the glass side of the aquarium and fell splat on the hard concrete floor, knocking himself out cold.
Officers handcuffed the man, who then woke up and began to try to struggle.
Someone covered him with a blanket as officers took him from the store...
God bless that person.
Jail records show George Owens, of Sterrett, is charged with public lewdness, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer, two counts of first-degree criminal mischief and two counts of reckless endangerment.
Yeah, that sounds like the guy.
This sounds like an old SNL bit: Great Moments In The History of White Trash. (The bit ended with: “But they was good people!”)
A Florida man walked out with the live tarpon from the Bass Pro Shop tank in Fort Myers a couple weeks ago. Unlike the fish the man has yet to be caught.
OK. I get it. The next post correcting me will be about a Bass Pro or Cabela’s that DOES have sharks in its aquarium ...
Hit me with your best shot.
He should be deported to Florida, because, Florida Man.
That got me.
Jeez, so now we have “Alabama Man’’. Guess “Florida Man’’ is out.
I’m thinking maybe he needs some.
Not a chance, Florida man has gators and sharks, not bass & crappies to deal with.
Yes. It is a tough hill to climb. But I have faith in the deep south!
Well, if anyone can do it, Bama Man would be the top contender, in my book!
There will soon be a sign at the top of the stairway to the aquarium: “No nekkid cannonballs allowed!” At least it will prevent a recurrence. I mean, how was he supposed to know?
He kept babbling something about roll tide, harbaugh’s a cheater, roll tide.
It derives from the old saying, "as nekkid as a buck Indian."
Priceless.
We had an opportunity to go to Amish country here in Indiana. The young man told us that his uncle “down the lane” had bedroom furniture if we wanted to look at it. We had commissioned him to make us a “media cabinet” to our exact specifications, and were there to pick it up. The workmanship was so extraordinary that we had wondered (in front of him) if he could make me a nightstand.
His uncle really was right down the lane! It was so sweet.
About as far as “three looks down the road”, I reckon.
We bought a nightstand from his uncle. It’s beautiful, but that’s beside the point. Down south it’s “three looks down the road”. Up here it’s “down the lane”.
There is that. Gators aren’t wussies that’s for sure.
Down here in the
southwest, that
would be “pert near”.
Usetacould, y’antto,
mightotta are used
quite regularly.
I heard several of those growing up. Uttered them myself until Mama scolded me. I complained that I didn’t write like that, but she said I shouldn’t speak like that either. ;)
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