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Why Some Couples Can Recover from Cheating, and Others Can't
Self.com ^ | 12-27-18 | Korin Miller and Meridith Clark

Posted on 12/20/2023 1:19:46 AM PST by Varsity Flight

https://www.self.com/story/why-some-couples-can-recover-after-cheating-and-others-cant

Comprehensive article on capacity and methods for couples to possibly recover from betrayal.


TOPICS: Education; Health/Medicine; Miscellaneous; Reference
KEYWORDS: betrayal; dating; manosphere; marriage; mgtow; pua; recover; redemption; redpill
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To: Varsity Flight

My 1st wife cheated. My second wife paid the price. My ability to trust her not to cheat took about 10 years time. It is very difficult to trust after being cheated.


21 posted on 12/20/2023 5:17:17 AM PST by Raycpa
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To: Susquehanna Patriot

i was always faithful too and had plenty of chances.
Being a cheater is not in my mindset- and plus, why would i risk what i had? No way.
My youngest daughter was only married 2 years and her husband cheated with a friend of theirs- “the snaggle-toothed whore” is what i call her, lol.
They are not married anymore, and the whore is long gone too. He’s moved on to have a kid with one girl, and got married again to another girl, this time that marriage did not last a year.
He’s got issues I’d say.


22 posted on 12/20/2023 5:18:00 AM PST by ronniesgal (The bidens are actually more white trashy than the Clintons, and that's sayin' something)
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To: Varsity Flight
If my wife ever forgave me for having cheated I'd expect the new arrangement to be that she would be allowed to know everywhere I went,etc,etc,etc. IOW I'd assume that from the moment of forgiveness I'd be on “lifetime parole”.
23 posted on 12/20/2023 5:19:29 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (Proudly Clinging To My Guns And My Religion)
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To: Trump Girl Kit Cat

Is the reverse *always* appropriate? Is it foolish for a guy to ever even *consider* forgiving his wife?


24 posted on 12/20/2023 5:22:26 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (Proudly Clinging To My Guns And My Religion)
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To: Varsity Flight; Wally_Kalbacken; Trump Girl Kit Cat

“I don’t know how some women can forgive the betrayal”

“they just chose to forget that the relationship was destroyed. For money, for convenience”

About 6 months ago a girlfriend of my wife’s did just that.
She went out of state for a wedding and her husband had an affair.....to make matters even worse it was with his ex-wife.

My wife, expecting her girlfriend to file for divorce ultimately decided she would stay in the marriage for the primary reason of his financial security.

Apparently they are more like roommates now as she tells my wife she could never be intimate with him again after what he did.

Also of note is they have both been married multiple times.
In researching that, i found that every time a person gets remarried after a divorce the chance of that marriage ending in divorce increases.
When a person is remarried for the third time the chance it will end in divorce is somewhere in the 70% range.

One thing I have observed about that couple is Jesus is not central in their lives.
I can’t help but think if HE was, they more than likely wouldn’t be in the situation they are in.


25 posted on 12/20/2023 5:23:28 AM PST by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: Raycpa

I was always accused of cheating. I finally acknowledged that if some 18 year old is waving it in my face I’m gonna sniff it.

no mention of bill and Hillary.


26 posted on 12/20/2023 5:24:44 AM PST by DIRTYSECRET
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To: Susquehanna Patriot
There are men...and women...who commit an offense of that sort who can acknowledge that they've done wrong and then vow to themselves...and others...that it won't happen again. Of course there are also men..and women...who are simply dishonest and should be kicked out the house.

Christ *was* crucified between two thieves. One was allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven,the other one (presumably) was not.

27 posted on 12/20/2023 5:28:08 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (Proudly Clinging To My Guns And My Religion)
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To: Trump Girl Kit Cat

You’re the strong one. It’s the weak ones who stay.


28 posted on 12/20/2023 5:28:33 AM PST by CaptainK ("If life's really hard, at least its short")
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To: Varsity Flight
Had therapist tell me that in about 3yrs of a spouse/partner cheating, the marriage/relationship will end.

That happened to me, when I cheated and a few others that I know who cheated.
Yes both F & M!!

29 posted on 12/20/2023 5:29:22 AM PST by Paul46360 (Nuk'em all--- let GOD sort them out!)
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To: Varsity Flight

In the animal world, male species are rarely monogamous and do “look beyond the nest”. The female is built to protect the nest at all cost, if she abandons it, there is something terribly wrong.


30 posted on 12/20/2023 5:37:33 AM PST by Toespi
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.


31 posted on 12/20/2023 5:38:37 AM PST by sauropod (The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly.)
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To: Trump Girl Kit Cat
I don’t know how some women can forgive the betrayal I guess I am not that strong!!

One word: MONEY

32 posted on 12/20/2023 5:55:35 AM PST by unixfox (Abolish Slavery, Repeal the 16th Amendment)
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To: Trump Girl Kit Cat
Yep, and if it happened to me, I would forgive my spouse, but I'd kick her to the curb too. I'd be nice, professional, polite, get in shape, and do well.

THAT is the best revenge: doing well and being happy.

33 posted on 12/20/2023 6:14:55 AM PST by DCBryan1 (Inter arma enim silent leges! - Cicero )
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To: Susquehanna Patriot

Same-
My 1st, what I thought was steady girlfriend cheated.
It was over in a heartbeat, once I found out. Boy, did that hurt.
Could never understand how one could ever live with not knowing if your spouse was late for whatever reason, or if they were meeting up somewhere w someone, after that kind of betrayal?
Trust is EVERYTHING!

Forgiving that kind of betrayal is bigger than me!


34 posted on 12/20/2023 6:22:16 AM PST by bantam
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To: Varsity Flight
I personally couldn't live with infidelity.

It would mean that the relationship I thought I had did not really exist, if he could do such a thing to me ... that he wasn't head over heels about me the way I am over him.

At that point my don't give a damn would take over and I'd want nothing more to do with him. Even if he fully and truly had remorse that doubt would always be there.

Of course, other people's mileage may vary. If they have had a one off cheat and they managed to patch it back together I am happy for them.

I couldn't do it.

35 posted on 12/20/2023 6:35:15 AM PST by Lizavetta
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To: unixfox

How easily you can replace your spouse is also part of it. Some people, if they marry, will be a once in a lifetime for them. If they divorce, they will not marry again by no choice of their own.

Those people often get abused by their spouse, because they cant go anywhere.


36 posted on 12/20/2023 6:36:14 AM PST by Jonty30 (In a nuclear holocaust, there is always a point in time where the meat is cooked to perfection. )
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To: V_TWIN

Women who have had more than fifteen partners, statistically, cannot bond with a man. Sex becomes a transactional for duty done or gifts or whatever.


37 posted on 12/20/2023 6:38:25 AM PST by Jonty30 (In a nuclear holocaust, there is always a point in time where the meat is cooked to perfection. )
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To: Varsity Flight

A fella in our town that worked with my father at the time, came home for lunch one day, went to th3. Barn to feed the animals like he always did, and was beaten to a pulp by 2 men armed with 2x4’s. Both his arms were broken, but he regained his senses and ran for the house only to find the doors were all locked and despite yelling out to his wife, the doors remained locked.

The 2 perps got scared when he started yelling and ran off.

It came to light in the trial that his wife was hav8ng an affair with one of the perps, and had convinced him to murder her husband.

Long story short- she did her time in prison, got out, and the fella, being a ch4istian man who took marriage seriously, took her back, and lived with her for a few years u til she up and took off- probably with another person.


38 posted on 12/20/2023 6:48:32 AM PST by Bob434
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To: Jonty30

The Higher Beatitudes: Humility and Compassion.


39 posted on 12/20/2023 7:20:27 AM PST by Varsity Flight ( "War by 🙏🙏 the prophesies set before you." I Timothy 1:18. Nazarite prayer warriors. 10.5.6.5)
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To: Susquehanna Patriot
Anyway, I picked up on the way the dating game was played back then [...]

During the Hoover administration?

(Heh-heh!)

Regards,

40 posted on 12/20/2023 7:22:12 AM PST by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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