Posted on 06/24/2023 2:06:19 PM PDT by dynachrome
EVERETT, WA — Following a slight hiccup involving a tin can and 6,000 PSI of water pressure in the unforgiving depths of the Northern Atlantic Ocean, deep-sea tourism company OceanGate is now offering a 20% off coupon for its next tour.
"All startups have small delays and hindrances," said the brand, brand-new CEO of OceanGate, "Like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos, we are just gonna keep swimming and continue to provide an unforgettable experience for customers."
The CEO said ticket sales are no longer limited to billionaires: multi-millionaires are now permitted to purchase tickets as long as they have the 20% off coupon in hand at the time of purchase. He added that other perks are being considered to really entice potential buyers during this momentary dip in sales. Some perks include:
Free Nintendo Wii remotes (redeemed in gift shop following successful tour) Family discount (small families only) Taco Tuesday 100% money-back guarantee if crushed in the cold, black abyss At publishing time, tickets had been snatched up by a single customer, the director of Canada's medically-assisted suicide program.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
A smart businessman would offer a “BOGO.”
Let me be the first to offer Joe and Hunter free tickets for a father/son bonding experience.
Too bad Gary Larson retired, I can think of at least a half dozen Far Side cartoons, thanks to Ocean Gate. For example, a bunch of angry sharks complaining about lost sleep due to banging on the hull, though we found out later that didn’t happen.
It sure kept the focus off Hunter for several days. We didn’t know until Friday that a “super secret” Navy sonar detected the implosion on Monday.
I love that word, never heard it before until I joined FR.
If I knew someone who wanted to ride a tub like that-—they wouldn’t have. The math class would have been spectacular.
I can’t completely agree, though I do see it as harsh. But the CEO had REPEATED safety warnings about the craft yet went full steam ahead - the only sane person was the 50-something white guy who actually knew what was going on and he got fired inthr name of “diversity “.
Plenty of dumb bored billionaires ready to step up
Being in the carbon fiber industry I would love to see their drawings, layup drawings, their FEA structural simulations, how they tested the vessel.
OceanGate promises that for their next submersible.
1) Despite the cost savings, it will not be made from “repurposed” Bud Light cans.
2) Venomous snakes will no longer be permitted aboard.
3) No fragmentary hand grenades in the future, either.
4) The new model will no longer have flush toilets.
5) Propulsion system batteries will be upgraded from AAA to AA.
6) Communications will no longer exclusively use discounted Samsung Galaxy Note 7 smartphones.
7) To no longer use Tannerite and Ammonium Nitrate as ballast.
8) “Having played video games” will no longer be considered as sufficient experience for a pilot.
You want your dark humor? THAT is dark humor.
Well played Bee. Well played.
“I’m watching TITANIC because seeing
DeCaprio fade into darkness has
always cheered me up”
Now that is funny, I don’t care who you are.
“OceanGate”…..
The name is WAY too similar to:
HeavensGate
Watergate
Etc etc
The utter stupidity of this project needs to be ridiculed. A high school science class could have done a better job by at least diving the vessel, unmanned, to its test depth.
And they would have consulted a 50-year old white man with submariner experience.
Some people just can’t take a high pressure mission like that.
How could anyone get on board knowing that? Were they just razzle dazzled by the ‘experts’??
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