Posted on 06/09/2023 4:00:55 PM PDT by george76
With the shocking news that the PGA will merge with the Saudi Arabian LIV tour, the game of golf is set for radical change. Check out the new rules that will be adopted for the new tour:
Players who hit an errant shot must yell "ALLAHU AKBAR!" instead of "FORE!": We're pretty sure fans will pay a little more attention when someone starts screaming this.
If you hit a woman with your shot, it's an automatic birdie: Serves them right for attending a golf tournament without their husbands' permission.
Players will be allowed to eliminate one stroke per round, known as the "Kashoggi rule": Very handy.
Bunkers will be booby-trapped with mines from the Golan Heights: It will give a whole new meaning to the phrase "explode out of the sand".
Every tournament will begin with the ceremonial Stoning of the Gay: As is Saudi tradition.
If players miss a putt less than two feet, guards immediately chop off their hands: Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman believes if you miss a putt at that distance, you no longer deserve hands.
Once per weekend, they will let a suicide bomber loose on the course: Golf will never be boring again.
Winners will receive a new wife along with their oversized check: Right up Tiger's alley.
Players will be caned at the end of each round for each stroke over par: No more players cashing it in on a lousy round.
If a player's tee shot hits a Jew, they are instantly declared tournament champion: Are we sure this merger was a good idea?
We can't wait to see how this goes! Thanks, Saudi Arabia.
On the plus side, Golf will become even more anti LGBTQ than other sports.
More entertaining but still not a real sport.
Will the saudi’s allow the women golfers to wear short skirts?
Paige Spiranac swinging a golf club in a burqa just isn’t going to have the same effect.
I’m paying to see this from Thursday on -yeh its the BB.
Still I’d pay big bucks.
;-)
I've played organized baseball, football, basketball and golf {by organized I mean at High School and college level} and by far, golf is the hardest, most demanding and most difficult SPORT to master.
Since you consider golf to be entertainment and not a sport, then you have never tried to play golf at a competitive level where decent money is involved.
By decent, I mean more than you can afford to lose.
I was an All Star baseball player at short stop, a decent football player, at receiver, a lousy basketball player {too short and couldn't shoot} and a 8 handicapper at golf {after playing for 60 years}.
Golf is the most frustrating SPORT in the world, it is you, vs the course, and you can never beat the course.
Sure, on some days, you will win money, but you still missed a putt that would have...
Please don't try to tell a golfer, that golf is not a sport.
It’s the last non-woke sport.
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