Posted on 03/15/2022 2:01:35 PM PDT by servo1969
ANCHORAGE, AK — The deliberate and premeditated invasion of Ukraine by brutal dictator Vladimir Putin has forced the US to reassess the importance of energy independence. With this new resolve, the Biden Administration has taken its first step toward increasing oil production for Americans by selling Alaska back to Russia so we can start drilling for oil there again.
“Folks, nobody wants to ruin America’s beautiful Alaskan wilderness with oil trucks and drilling rigs, come on!” said President Biden in response to questions he thought were coming from a house plant in the West Wing. “But I’ve never had a problem getting oil from Russia, so there you go, go get him.”
Jen Psaki praised Biden’s brilliance in finding a solution that would prevent an energy crisis while also preventing new drilling on American land. She pointed out succinctly to journalists, “You see, it’s not American land anymore; it’s Russian land.”
Politicians on both sides of the political aisle criticized Biden for selling Alaska without giving them enough time to sneak friends and family onto the boards of newly-relevant Russian oil companies. They also voiced concern that the negotiator handling both the Alaska sale as well as managing drilling permits was Hunter Biden and not their own children.
Seems like a good plan.
Lets make AOC Czarina of Puerto Rico and spin that off too.
Puerto Rico can become part of Cuba, if Alaska is to become part of the Soviet Union...
ROFLOL
OK, now I'm convinced it's a true story.
The Bee used to be a comedy and satire site. Now they’re the crystal ball into the future. They hit the mark a lot more than cnn.
The Bee does it again.
Chuckle.
Is Biden letting them have it for $7 million, or did he allow for inflation?
AOC can wrestle Diaz-Canel for who gets the top job!
You have to love the Babylon Bee!
You left out “mud” as in mud wrestling. Might as well make it interesting. ESPN can do the match. I miss Howard Cosell, he’d have been the perfect announcer.
Dick Vitale is still alive, maybe he’d be interested....
Way to go Baybeeeee! It would work.
I could see AOC’s grandma as the corner guy for her, and old man Castro for the Cuba side.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Sadly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was true.
I am really beginning to dislike the BEE. Too many of their jokes come true. Maybe it is time to kill the messenger because they have become a harbinger. (?sarcasm)
good one
Can we sell all the southern states to Ukraine so we can protect the border?
Perhaps Murkowski could be the next leader of Russia.
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